CameronL Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 I hear that Paul Hollywood has offered his services to write the script for the next James Bond film. Working titles include ... From Russia With Loaf Gold Finger-Roll On Her Majesty's Short-Crust Service Live and Let Pie The Man with the Golden Bun The Pie Who Loved Me Moonbaker For Your Pies Only Octopastie A View to a Grill GoldenPie Tomorrow Several Pies The Viennese Whirl Is Not Enough Pie Another Day Casino Royal Icing No Time To Pie 2 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 Hooray for Hollywood. Paul is now toted to be the next Bond, in a remake of a Piers Brosnan era bit of the franchise - The World is Not An Oeuf. 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 30, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 30, 2023 12 hours ago, NIK said: Missed Hits - Film and TV Titles that would be sure fire flops: A Pie Amongst Friends Get Caterer Jurassic Prank The Taking of Peckham 123 Tarzan the Legend of Basingstoke A Nice Dream on Elm Street American Cycle Path Raging Flea Hotdog Millionaire Snow White and the Severn Wharfs Spiderman: Into the Plughole Lowlander West Sid Story Braefart Mad Max: Furry Road What’s Vole Got to Do With it OK Man: The Movie The Postman Always Stamps on Your Parcel Twice The Rockford Sandpapers Canon Petrochemical A Man Called Horace This Sporting Lift Dysentry Dull As Last Lucozade in Halifax Last of the Summer Swine Hippy Valley Z Car The Honourable Ford Consul The Sweedy Dreadfully Long Encounter Howards Crescent The Harry Hill Mob Saturday Night Torpor Those Magnificent Men And Their Flymos Milton Keynes Or Bust Monty Python’s Fly Circus Do not adjust your settee The Life and Loves of a Devilled Kidney Later with a bloke from Holland The Morecambe and Lancaster Show Avengers Assemble a Billy Bookcase Quatermass and the Pig. Question Tim Rutland Weekend The One Ronnie When the Boat Stays Put The Camomile Lawnmower Whose Linen Is It Anyway? The Cook, the Thief, His wife and Her Liver Ant Day Afternoon The Silence of the Lamb Mince The Character Assassination of Jesse James High Nun Two Moles for Sister Sarah His Grill Friday Its a Wonderful Lift In the Sheet of the Night Thats what happened to the Likely Lads A Matter of Lifebuoy and Dettol The Life and Death of Colonel Sanders I don’t know where I’m going Cinema Purgatorio Seven Sams Far From the Madding Crud The Mare of Casterbridge The Wicker Basket Tess of the Dormobiles Lorna Dounreay Not so Easy Rider The motor mower diaries Das bath The Bribe of Frankenstein A Zoom Call with the Vampire Rumpole of the Baileys Irish Cream The Quatermass Results and Conclusion The fifth light bulb element Fiat Club The Lord of the Ringtones Schindlers Lisp The Codfather Batman Biggins The Dark Day The Dark Knight goes to sleep 12 hungry men The 400 Tickles OK lands An American in Penge OK Fellas The Usual Actors Once Upon a Time in a Vest Django, pull the chain Please Look Now Weevil Dead The Extra Cyst Forbidden Plane Four Weedings and a Watering A Hard Days Nightie Godz Better Raiders of the Lost Aardvark Apocalypse sometime Good Will Shunting How the Vest was won. Singing in the Ruin Lawrence of Suburbia Citizen Kevin Imitation Metal Jacket Indiana Jones and the Stairlift of Doom Unicycle Thieves. Taxi Passenger The One Commandment The Greatest Tory Ever Sold The Shoe Shops of the Fishermen The Antisocial Network Once Upon a Time in Hollyrood M*U*S*H Ganacheville The Shape of Roger Waters The John Hurt Locker Zero Dark Chocolates There Wont be Blood No Country for Gary Oldman Million Dollar Baby Wipes A Tale of Two Villages Mulholland Drivel The Wolf of Walsall Inglorious Spelling Mistake Moulin Beige 12 Years a Slav Brokeback Hillock City of Cod The Big Slurp All About Evening 2B or Not 2B The Wrongman Show Clutter Island The Treasure of the Sierra’s Glovebox The Great Escape Key The Elephant Shrew Harry Potter and absolutely nothing else The IOU of Fear Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderbox Mr Smith Goes to Wash The Best Years of Our Livers Glad He Didn’t Eat Her A Bridge Hand Too Far Analyse His Tupperware Town The Dirty Baker’s Dozen Let the Left One In The Public Enema Ferris Bueller’s Day Care 3:10 to Yuma Replacement Bus Service Dustbusters The Aviator Sunglasses Being John Major The Last King of Scotch Tape Raid on Aunt Ebby The Grate Escape Empire of the Daily Mirror Dirty Rotten Sandals Its a Sane, Sane, Sane, Sane World Its All Gone Pete Best Scarf Face Kind Hearts and Coronaries Rust Man Top Gum Blade Sharpener Gran Tormentor The Over the Top Ning The Curious Pillowcase of Benjamin Button Colin of The Dead Fear and Loathing of Johnny Vegas Trading Plaices Annie Pantry North by Northampton Straw Dog Baskets Cape Love The Maltese Budgie Good Morning West Ham The Lady Knitters The Day the Earth Kept Spinning Ben-Him The Distinctive Charm of the Boeuf Bourguignon The Alike Couple True Lice Train Man The Hunt for Redcurrants Guardians of the Galaxy Bar The Night of the Hillman Hunter The Bedside Table of Dr Caligari Guess Who’s coming to Dagenham I am a Fugitive from a Chain Store On the Water Cooler Slightly Tepid in Alex For absolutely no reason that I can put my finger on, Tess of the Dormobiles had me in stitches. 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Nick C Posted August 30, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 30, 2023 12 hours ago, NIK said: Tarzan the Legend of Basingstoke An abandoned feral child raised in the jungle by apes? Documentaries don't tend to do too well in the cinema... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class! 1. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; Bring a friend, if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. "Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. 2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease." · "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." 3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr 4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow 5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 6."Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas 7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain 8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde 9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop 10."He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright 11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb 12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson 13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating 14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand 15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker 16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain 17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West 18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde 19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder 21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx. 22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill 10 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 At first I wasn't sure to post this image here ... or in Prototype Discussions (Mass cull of ticket offices). Then I realised "Here" is safer. Posting this image in "The other place" might get me strung up... 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 30, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 30, 2023 Thats the third time its been posted in as many days. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 2 hours ago, Nick C said: An abandoned feral child raised in the jungle by apes? Documentaries don't tend to do too well in the cinema... Talking of Basingstoke (if one has to)- Basingstoke and Deane Council have put up road signs saying their area is the birthplace and home of Jane Austen: 'Mr Darcy, it has not escaped my notice that you seem to have a generous number of roundabouts on your estate of Pemberley' 'Indeed Miss Bennet, and I would venture to suggest we have the largest collection of chavs in captivity' 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 13 minutes ago, NIK said: Mr Darcy, it has not escaped my notice that you seem to have a generous number of roundabouts on your estate of Pemberley' 'Indeed Miss Bennet, and I would venture to suggest we have the largest collection of chavs in captivity' One of Mr Darcy's roundabouts was rudely used by local chavs dancing the Conga. Mr Darcy was sorely vexed at Miss Bennet's behaviour. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 31, 2023 4 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: 17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West I can think of another (not profane) word that is commonly used. 4 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: 18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde I have heard that as used by many, but I thought that it was attributed to Winston Churchill. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 31, 2023 3 hours ago, NIK said: ...snip... 'Indeed Miss Bennet, and I would venture to suggest we have the largest collection of chavs in captivity' ???? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 20 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said: I have heard that as used by many, but I thought that it was attributed to Winston Churchill. Sayings do get copied. On hearing a particular non mot, Oscar Wilde is supposed to have said “I wish I’d said that.” To which a companion replied “You will, Oscar, you will!” 5 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 31, 2023 Chav = British slang for a young person of low breeding and a feral street nature, probably from 'chavender', Romany for child. As in 'what do you call a chav in a suit? The accused'... See also Pikey, Scally, et al. Stateside version possibly 'punk'. Make my day... 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 31, 2023 Fill in "Buy more xxx" as required. 7 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 31, 2023 8 hours ago, J. S. Bach said: ???? https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/chav 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted August 31, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 31, 2023 8 hours ago, pH said: Sayings do get copied. On hearing a particular non mot, Oscar Wilde is supposed to have said “I wish I’d said that.” To which a companion replied “You will, Oscar, you will!” Monty Python gives some surprising information at times! I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark. From http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_3/106.htm 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 4 hours ago, kevinlms said: Monty Python gives some surprising information at times! http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_3/106.htm Based on a true story? https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/05/oscar-will/ 1 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post JZ Posted August 31, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted August 31, 2023 1 24 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 44 minutes ago, JZ said: That way be more direct, but THAT way be prettier..... 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 Liked this one.. 3:10 to Yuma Replacement Bus Service. Did you know there was to be a sequel that was cancelled? 3:25 ECS from Yuma to Yuma Carraige Sidings 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 On 31/08/2023 at 08:06, KeithMacdonald said: 2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease." · "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." It was Gladstone and Disraeli. They genuinely hated each other and traded biting barbs all the time. Another classic Disraeli quote: "The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity." 3 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 Now this guy had some quotes. They even named a cartoon bear after him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted September 1, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 1, 2023 1 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 1, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 1, 2023 But that's one of the rather good large-sized Sainsbury's bags. Most of ours have gone out of circulation, being purloined by the boys for packing stuff to take to uni. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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