The Forum Jokes Thread

[Compound2632]

5 hours ago, 33C said:

Oh well, at least he was philosophical about it......

 

I knew a philosophy student who was most put out when, in response to her worrying about something, her mother said "Be philosophical about it, dear: just don't think about it."

[Tim123]

[Ramblin Rich]

On 25/10/2023 at 01:53, KeithMacdonald said:

80k as an electrician! I'm in wrong job 🤪

Presumably USA rates....

[The Johnster]

Or, as they say to a bloke in a white coat with a doctorate degree, 'can I have fries and a medium pepsi with that, please'.

 

Born in 1952, I probably come from the last generation for whom education guaranteed a 'good' job, or for whom any secure employment could be expected. 

[JZ]

[proton]

3 hours ago, Ramblin Rich said:

80k as an electrician! I'm in wrong job 🤪

Presumably USA rates....

UPS drivers in the USA settled for an outstanding contract!!

"UPS says that by the end of the new contract, the average UPS full-time driver will make about $170,000 annually in pay and benefits. It's not clear how much of that figure benefits account for."

[jcredfer]

1 hour ago, proton said:

UPS drivers in the USA settled for an outstanding contract!!

"UPS says that by the end of the new contract, the average UPS full-time driver will make about $170,000 annually in pay and benefits. It's not clear how much of that figure benefits account for."

 

Possibly relevant that the claim for the wage, is not from the drivers.....

 

 

[DAVREB05]

UPS drivers in the UK don't get that much

[JZ]

1 hour ago, proton said:

UPS drivers in the USA settled for an outstanding contract!!

"UPS says that by the end of the new contract, the average UPS full-time driver will make about $170,000 annually in pay and benefits. It's not clear how much of that figure benefits account for."

 

5 minutes ago, jcredfer said:

 

Possibly relevant that the claim for the wage, is not from the drivers.....

 

 

Information here. and here

[TT-Pete]

Had the worst day ever. I paid a carpenter to build me a double bed and he's done a bunk.

 

It's just one thing on top of another.

[NIK]

I paid a carpenter to build me a wagon for a miniature railway.

 

He made a Walrus.

[jbqfc]

[NIK]

As a pub food critic I was asked to do a quick review of an all you could eat buffet.

 

I had a lot on my plate.

[JZ]

[JZ]

[CameronL]

Quote from my daughter: "I'm glad the clocks have gone back. The clock in my car tells the right time now."

[PhilJ W]

4 hours ago, CameronL said:

Quote from my daughter: "I'm glad the clocks have gone back. The clock in my car tells the right time now."

I have a clock that is a pain to turn back because it can only be adjusted forwards so I leave it on GMT all year.

Edited October 29, 2023 by PhilJ W

[DK123GWR]

30 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

I have a clock that is a pain to turn back because it can only be adjusted forwards that I leave it on GMT all year.

My old watch could only be adjusted forwards and didn't have a 12/24 hr button, so you had to press a button 49 times to set it back an hour (once each to enter and exit the time setting mode, and 47 times to cycle around the clocks). And if you accidentally went an hour too far, that's another 47 button presses.

[kevinlms]

Funnily enough, I can reset the clock on my microwave, without looking anything up, it takes me 15 seconds at the most. Am I unique?

 

Whereas our 2 cars, I forget how each 6 months. But I guess cars only need it done twice a year, but microwaves, it's every time the power goes out!

[Bernard Lamb]

I just have two identical watches and swap them over every spring and autumn. Been going for at least ten years. The same procedure when I travel to other countries in Europe. Any further afield I have  third watch and this one does get adjusted.

Bernard

[CameronL]

4 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said:

I just have two identical watches and swap them over every spring and autumn. Been going for at least ten years. The same procedure when I travel to other countries in Europe. Any further afield I have  third watch and this one does get adjusted.

Bernard

Wot? Not one watch per time zone?

[Reorte]

Write the time down on a piece of paper...

[F-UnitMad]

11 minutes ago, Reorte said:

Write the time down on a piece of paper...

That reference might be too old for a lot of the membership.... or those not Goon Show fans. 😁😉

[DK123GWR]

37 minutes ago, CameronL said:

Wot? Not one watch per time zone?

If you have analogue watches you can use the same one (flipped) for India and UK winter/European summer.

[AndrueC]

8 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

I have a clock that is a pain to turn back because it can only be adjusted forwards so I leave it on GMT all year.

Technical rant alert!

 

So my current car - a Corolla - maintains an accurate clock. I just checked again and it agrees to the second with my watch which is a Casio G-Shock that syncs to the national time signal every night. As I see it there are three possibilities here:

• The car gets the time from GPS. My model has sat nav but even those that don't will have GPS as part of the eCall system.
• The car gets the time from the traffic information that Toyota helps fund.
• The car gets the time from a Bluetooth device when it connects and it will always connect to my phone when I drive it.

(I discount inherent accuracy because digital clocks always drift even if it's only half a second a day).

 

I have to manually enable/disable DST so I think we can rule out Bluetooth since that includes that information. For a similar reason I think we can exclude the traffic information plus I'm guessing that might only be received when I use the satnav and these days I use Google Maps and Android Auto rather than pay Toyota's outrageous map update fee. So it probably gets the time from GPS and that will be UTC without time zone information so meh. It's annoying but can't be helped.

 

But then we get to my previous car a Honda Jazz. That's much the same situation (except no eCall and my model didn't have satnav). But when configuring the clock you had to specify the time zone. I selected WET (Western European Time) because that's what we use. Did it help? Did it heck as like. I still had to manually enable/disable DST. Now that is stupid.

 

Meanwhile my three watches, all my clocks and even my central heating thermostat sort themselves out via radio control. All I have to change indoors are the microwave and some timers I have controlling power sockets.

Edited October 29, 2023 by AndrueC