RMweb Gold Dunsignalling Posted December 26, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Hroth said: And another Cracker*...... Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because their horns don't work! Highlight the answer for the answer.... * They'll keep on coming until I stop. Muahahahahaaaaa... Because their horns don't work. They don't really need to include an answer, do they? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 My wife gave me a glove as a present, a single glove. Apparently, she took advantage of a Black Friday deal which had goods at 50% off. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 Perhaps I should give her the boot? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold AndrueC Posted December 26, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 26, 2023 35 minutes ago, Deeps said: My wife gave me a glove as a present, a single glove. Apparently, she took advantage of a Black Friday deal which had goods at 50% off. I often get given one glove as a present. I'm a keen golfer ;) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted December 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted December 26, 2023 1 2 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post JZ Posted December 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted December 26, 2023 57 minutes ago, AndrueC said: I often get given one glove as a present. I'm a keen golfer ;) My mate and I were playing golf. After the third hole, I asked him if he wanted to make the game more interesting. So we went to the pub. 2 2 1 5 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 5 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 30851 Posted December 26, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 26, 2023 6 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Back in the early 90's I worked with the guy who got the dart in his head. He said he didn't know it had happened and was wondering why everyone was staring at him - eventually his friend did tell him. Luckily he had a lot more hair at the time than the above guy in the cartoon. He brought in all the newspaper clipping about it. Strangely enough no one had pointed out that there was a big picture of his face on the front page underneath the headline 'The ugly face of football'. He did not appreciate me bringing up that point! He seemed to be a person beset by strange problems. I remember him coming into work a little late and a little wide eyed. On his way to work he was just coming out the newsagent when the house next door just collapsed all over his car. Rob 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 1 hour ago, 30851 said: Back in the early 90's I worked with the guy who got the dart in his head. He said he didn't know it had happened and was wondering why everyone was staring at him - eventually his friend did tell him. Luckily he had a lot more hair at the time than the above guy in the cartoon. He brought in all the newspaper clipping about it. Strangely enough no one had pointed out that there was a big picture of his face on the front page underneath the headline 'The ugly face of football'. He did not appreciate me bringing up that point! He seemed to be a person beset by strange problems. I remember him coming into work a little late and a little wide eyed. On his way to work he was just coming out the newsagent when the house next door just collapsed all over his car. Rob I think you are about twenty years out with that one! Manchester Derby about 1977 ISTR. But might have been against Liverpool, Everton or Leeds. Definitely a United fan. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 21 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: I think you are about twenty years out with that one! Manchester Derby about 1977 ISTR. But might have been against Liverpool, Everton or Leeds. Definitely a United fan. I can remember a picture of a fan being carried out of an Old Firm match with a kitchen knife stuck in his head. That would have been 1972. My first trip to Scotland. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 30851 Posted December 26, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 26, 2023 59 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: I think you are about twenty years out with that one! Manchester Derby about 1977 ISTR. But might have been against Liverpool, Everton or Leeds. Definitely a United fan. Yep - i worked with him in the 90's. The dart incident itself happened around 77 long before I met him. Rob 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 26, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 26, 2023 3 13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 I've got another... Q: When is a boat just like snow? A: When its adrift... As a seasonal thought, if you can't highlight the answer line, the answer is repeated below. To be honest, its not worth bothering about. A: When its adrift. (geddit?) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted December 27, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 27, 2023 11 minutes ago, Hroth said: I've got another... Q: When is a boat just like snow? A: When its adrift... As a seasonal thought, if you can't highlight the answer line, the answer is repeated below. To be honest, its not worth bothering about. A: When its adrift. (geddit?) I just left the supermarket where I noticed that they were flogging off Christmas crackers for 25% of the price of last week. Perhaps I should buy a box, just for the jokes? 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 Oh, the humanity! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 27, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 27, 2023 26 minutes ago, kevinlms said: I just left the supermarket where I noticed that they were flogging off Christmas crackers for 25% of the price of last week. Perhaps I should buy a box, just for the jokes? You could keep them for next year... PLEASE! 2 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted December 27, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 27, 2023 “After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night. Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’ My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.” 2 2 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted December 27, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 27, 2023 1 hour ago, Sidecar Racer said: My wife is a very reasonable woman. Indeed, and did not succumb to the flattery of your intentionally poor arithmetic. 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted December 27, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 27, 2023 364 days until Christmas and folks already have their lights up. 1 13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 The Glasgow version. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 6 minutes ago, Bernard Lamb said: The Glasgow version. No parking on the parkin? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.” Not only that, they tell you about all the problems you didn't even know you had, and then how to solve them. Edited December 27, 2023 by CameronL Typo 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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