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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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18 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

One thousand pages and this is the level we're at?

Some things don't improve with repetition. If you look at the amount of effort dung beetles put in to be satisfied, fulfilled little bugs at the end of it all they still spend all their time pushing balls of cr*p about.

 

(Is there a metaphor there?)

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A farmer on Exmoor sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts: "Wozzon. Ee dun wanna bee drinkin dat....it's full of 'orse p*ss an' cow sh*t". The bloke says "I'm from London and just purchased a property in the village, so can you speak a bit slower please"

The farmer replies "If..you..use..two..hands..you..won't..spill..any"......

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3 hours ago, exmoordave said:

A farmer on Exmoor sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts: "Wozzon. Ee dun wanna bee drinkin dat....it's full of 'orse p*ss an' cow sh*t". The bloke says "I'm from London and just purchased a property in the village, so can you speak a bit slower please"

The farmer replies "If..you..use..two..hands..you..won't..spill..any"......

Last time that joke was on here it was a Scottish farmer advising an Englishman who was camping.

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17 minutes ago, Hibelroad said:

When I were a lad me mam would give me ten bob to go down to the shops, I’d come back with three nice steaks, a big chunk of cheese, tins of salmon, a string of sausages and six tins of long life for dad and I’d still have change out of the ten bob. You couldn’t do that today, too many security cameras. 

You try and tell the young people that today, and they won't believe you...

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58 minutes ago, kevinlms said:

You try and tell the young people that today, and they won't believe you...

They don't shoplift any more they do a ram raid.

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15 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

They don't shoplift any more they do a ram raid.

And if they get caught they feel sheepish.

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