Captain Kernow

I thought it tasted mostly of chicken.

Venezuela?  

Bless you Sheepish persona. Use a tissue and then wash your hands, using really good soap, for at least 30 seconds in hot water, then wave them around whilst the air droplets enter your nose again. Snot it, bin it, bag it, rinse it, to it, amen.

What are they artisaning?

Bread.

Ah...

A nice wedge of Foccacia to oil your bearings, eh?

Jodrell Bank

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

Is that rhyming slang Grahame?

Sounds like the day I was accused of brewing 'Lighthouse tea.'

Blinking close to water.......

Somewhat similar to Canoe Coffee then....

I'm a little teapot short and stout,

Here's my handle

Here's my spout

Please Mrs.CK do not shout

I've just introduced myself to your cup with my spout

We're happy now to sit and wait

Until the temperature starts to abate

Please raise your feet and taste my brew

Coz the Captain has done his best for you

The End

Thank you all for your erudite contributions. 

Italians?  In Totness?!  Baking bread??  How very dare they!  Do they think we can't bake our own?  Don't worry though, Brexit will put a stop to such nonsense... 

Crumbs!

“When on the toilet, please use the hole provided, and take care with your aim”

Do NOT use the apparatus whilst in motion...

TMI.....

Looks like England will need to brace itself for a second wave this summer.

What do you do with the roasted vegetables after that, Truffy? Do you then put them in the stock for a bit more cooking?

They usually don't need much, if any, more cooking. Add some to the stock, blitz, add the rest for texture. Works particularly well for onions, sweet potato, and carrots.

I have recently heard that if you like Porridge, pop the bits in the oven/grill for a bit to just crisp them up. Seems it makes the Porridge taste interesting. Not tried it yet so can't comment.

Perhaps you should get back to messing around with boats?

Mange Tout, Mon Capitaine. 

Une chance d'un macaron, mon vieux?

A sheep has now made tentative enquires about a macaroon.

'I think these lavatorial facilities constitute a major risk to Health and Safety!'

Maybe they don't really want you to use them, they provide the facilities as stipulated in the contract but if no-one uses them they save money on cleaners, products and emptying them.

Oh, don't get me wrong, there is sufficient room in these lavatorial chambers to hold a cocktail party or a small jumble sale, it's just that the 'facilities' are crammed right into one corner, for no apparent reason.

I prefer to pull a wardrobe across the bedroom floor, far less annoying.

No ice creams or sticks of rock were hurt during the move.

Just be thankful that the Bar Steward in question hasn't decided to have a party, featuring the most god-awful music that you have ever heard, being played through his 3 KiloWatt PA system!

Interesting point here.  The increasing advice for this sort of weather seem to be to keep your windows closed and your curtains drawn over the window (provided they are a light coloured material) on the side facing the sun - which we do and it definitely works.  Of course it also means that you can/should have windows open on the shady side.  advice is also to stay indoors so with luck he might put out his bonfire and go indoors in an hour or so.

https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/warnings-and-advice/seasonal-advice/health-wellbeing/tips-for-keeping-older-people-cool

Get ya hosepipe out and if it stretches far enough........

Is that the new slogan for the Scalefour Society?

Ah ! The Spanish Inquisition, no one expects them. They will make you want to start in 7mm.

Oh come on - the new forum software's not that bad!

Some more old bangers?

It says 'Add / Show 4 comments' I can only add. CK; have you ate the comments now as well as the sausages?

It says 'Add / Show 4 comments' I can only add. CK; have you ate the comments now as well as the sausages?

My favourite's the melody of tunes after the shipping forecast on Radio 4.

is it on iTunes daddyo?

Indeed...

They don't make them like they used to!

Repaired mine myself! Cost

Wish I was as clever as you!! ;-)

a couple of capacitors fixed my flat screen monitor too,beat

Rory Bremner has a fan?

Or forecasting Nightingale Hospitals

A crumpet 

You finished that pie yet?

No, I am still picking bits off the crust.

A sore point. Ever since the revolution, getting quality macaroons out of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Macadamia is very difficult.

One is forced to choose the produce of the French Pacific protectorate of Quinoa.

Quinoa, well known for it's rubber plantations just outside the capital city of Granola. 

Rolled Oats

So sorry to hear that - another good 'un gone.

But nonetheless, come this winter to save money you’ll give it a go 😃

@woodenhead You might want to .... but just the once. You'll never, ever, do it again - it really is bad, the smell permeates everywhere!! Just. Don't.

I don't have any place in the house to burn it, if things get that bad then we've begun WW3.

But I shall remember when it's the second to last thing we have to burn - it's either uncle Eric's wooden leg or cat litter pellets

The neighbour's cat does that to one of our cameras. Not much point having the camera if you've got to turn the alerts off because of the feline foolery.

A thoroughly good watch in my opinion even the presenters names are interesting !

I thought Sheridan St. John Trendypants was very good regarding his observations surrounding the esoteric use of light and shade and how this could be used to capture the conflict raging within such a mundane object as a butter knife.  Top stuff. 

Many thanks for reminding me of this programme which is a continuation of a previous series and a reminder of a Golden Wedding Anniversary celebration in Florence in 2015. All the best bits we visited are there...the view from Piazzale Michelangelo over the city,Bendor Grosvenor sitting under the arches of the Ponte Vecchio and the Uffizi Galleria itself where he had his epiphany of artistic revelation which houses many of this world’s greatest artistic treasures.That is to say if you can avoid oriental tourists hell bent on imaging the same on their mobiles. If you ain’t been to Florence do yourself s favour after,COVID-19...GO.

As the Welsh rules are that exercise should start and finish at home the Police should make them walk home.

They're having the same problem in New South Wales too...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-55471235

Ian - "It's a long walk back to England,... and it's that way!"