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Captain Kernow

RMweb Gold
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Status Updates posted by Captain Kernow

  1. Would customers kindly mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Please stand clear of the closing doors.

    3. bgman

      bgman

      Averfud Ouest avec pantalon

    4. BoD

      BoD

      I've dropped my sausages down the gap.

  2. Would Edmund of Oakbottom please come forward to claim this tub of margarine.

    1. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      I am instructed to inform you that he will not accept any substitutes for proper butter.

    2. bgman

      bgman

      Only if it's presented by Johhny Rotten :)

  3. would Pennine consider a negotiated settlement with regards to his status, perhaps with an increased level of standing being phased in over 5 years?

  4. Would you be prepared to lease me that half of the blancmange, please?

  5. Would you like an advocado with your expresso, Sir?

    1. Show previous comments  16 more
    2. NGT6 1315
    3. SHMD

      SHMD

      00101101 11110011 00001110 0000 0 00

       

      00 0001

       

      ...Dave

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Thank you, Dave, for that unequivocally erudite answer.

  6. Yes, yes, we know that conceptually the idiot has won, but in terms of abstract, non-objective aesthetics, is it Art, darling?

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Northroader

      Northroader

      A titter ran round the audience.

    3. BoD

      BoD

      Not art, if you don't mind, it's an installation.

    4. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      Just don't let Lady GaGa do the cooking FFS!

  7. Yesterday I had the significant pleasure of being able to purchase and consume a genuine German Bratwurst (mit Senf) from a real German person in the Exeter Christmas Market. This was my first proper Bratwurst for several years, and it tasted very good indeed.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Were Rippchen mit Sauerkraut served as the second course?

    3. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      Sehr lecker!

    4. waggy

      waggy

      Did it contain a picture of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies?

  8. Yesterday I made a site visit to Bristol East Depot.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Was it like St Phillip's Marsh but slightly less exciting then that was in 1963?

    3. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      Once upon a time it had a very nice signalbox (the fireplace is still there) and a hump marshalling yard.

    4. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Oh that place.....

  9. Yesterday I purchased a very agreeable sausage sandwich, but the pleasure of eating it was slightly reduced on account of the indifferent quality of the ketchup that I applied.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Adams442T

      Adams442T

      Indifferent quality Ketchup, the Kurse of the serious sausage eater.....

    3. MartinWales

      MartinWales

      Kan you find any Kinmundy Ketchup?

    4. Ross34

      Ross34

      my wife made some hotdogs tonight - tasty - till I put mustard on - big mistake - never again.

  10. Yesterday we did a very foolhardy thing. We drove from Devon to London to see family for the day. Five hours trip in all, nose-to-tail on the M4 for much of the way. Why do we bother? Got back in the evening in one hour less via the A303.

    1. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Did the Horses need feeding on return?

    2. bgman

      bgman

      Where's Lundun ?

  11. Yesterday, CTMK and I went to Budleigh Salterton for the first time, had a cake and beverage in a small tea shoppe and departed.

    1. Kev_Lewis

      Kev_Lewis

      Cake? No sausages?

    2. 46444

      46444

      Lovely town CK. Good place to buy fresh fish from the fisherman landing it on the beach...

    3. devonseasider

      devonseasider

      Park at Otterton Mill & walk down to Budleigh along the river.

  12. Yet again, another on-train lavatory fails to provide a satisfactory user experience...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Stubby47

      Stubby47

      Oi !! I may, or may not be, or not be, responsible or not responsible for any on-board or off-board facilities...

    3. Grafarman

      Grafarman

      Answer is; don't go on the go...

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Well done Stubby, you're learning fast!

  13. Yet another dull household task completed, but another weekend with no modelling done is nearly over - this is not the way to get a layout finished!

  14. You big white cat - why can't I resist you?! ;-)

    1. PhilEakins

      PhilEakins

      No CK - it was a bicycle not a cat......

  15. You can't take me anywhere.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. bgman

      bgman

      Belt and braces

    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I'd have to find you first before I could even consider it...

    4. Kris

      Kris

      Is this a quote from Boris?

  16. You don't have to cook the Cumberland sausage yourself, in order to enjoy it.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. bgman

      bgman

      Black pudding wrap

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Sounds good, Simon, thanks for the tip, hope to try it out at some stage!

    4. Andrew F

      Andrew F

      black pudding fried with cheese and onion on toasted bread

  17. You dumb puluka!

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      To our our magnificent generals, General Gordon and General Booth.

    3. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      You big lug!

    4. NGT6 1315
  18. You hum it son, I'll play it!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Rugd1022

      Rugd1022

      'ere Dad, d'you know the pianners on my foot...? Smashing ;-)

    3. Tim V

      Tim V

      Cup of tea up there?

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Nidge, at first I thought you'd written..''Ere Dad, d'you know the pannier's on my foot?!'... Oooh err!

  19. You lot are impossible. Asking for some respect for the banana didn't seem like too much to ask for, did it? Well, now you've done it and the banana says it's all my fault and now isn't speaking to me at all.

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Captain Kernow
    3. Tim V

      Tim V

      So captain, you've been speaking to a banana. Finally cracked?

    4. Tim Hall

      Tim Hall

      This is plumming the depths or is it a figment of our overripe imaginations?

  20. You may go in. Mr Truscott will see you now.

    1. 46444

      46444

      Is he from

      Launceston?

    2. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      No, Horrocksford although he was born in Haverfordwest.

    3. bgman

      bgman

      What does he want from me ? I haven't done anything wrong....YET !

  21. You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. mudmagnet

      mudmagnet

      I have one already, it is very nice! (in French accent)

    3. Ian Holmes

      Ian Holmes

      we are no longer the knights who say Ni. We are the Knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

    4. Phil Copleston

      Phil Copleston

      We want a shrubbery... or else, you shall never pass through this [engine] wood... alive. Eeeek!

  22. You really don't understand what I'm talking about, do you?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. steve22

      steve22

      If it's St.Mary's crossing, yes, I do.

    3. Kylestrome

      Kylestrome

      Could you repeat the middle bit, please?

    4. Satan's Goldfish
  23. You're eating a delicious baguette or sandwich and have consumed almost all of it, when the last bit drops to the floor. Do you (like me), lament the last bit or think yourself lucky that you've had most of it?

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      Baguettes can be dangerous things to eat. Sitting on a platform seat at BTM when a seagull swooped and went for said baguette but hit my teeth with some force!

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      This one was from the small but excellent 'Sandwich Royale', just off Queen Street in Exeter, James Bond's sandwich shop.

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I can only guess at the method used to make the mayonnaise...

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