The Carpet Monster

[Ruston]

You know there are sometimes reports in the newspapers about bods in universities researching nonsense such as how to make the perfect toast, or how to make the perfect cup of tea?

 

Well, how about them applying their brains to something a bit more useful? Such as working out the point at which one should give in to the Carpet Monster and just make a new part for whatever it is you're building when a tiny part has pinged off into space, never to be seen again.

 

And because these things do inevitably turn up eventually, maybe they can also work out how long it takes for them to turn up so we can put the model aside and not worry about it, knowing that it will turn up at a given time and date in the future.

 

Or, better still, these brainboxes can focus their brainpower into designing a pair of perfect tweezers that don't cause tiny parts to ping off and become food for the Carpet Monster in the first place!

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

The 'jeweller's apron' attached to the workbench? This from a trade which has amassed centuries of experience of small, vital and sometimes expensive bits pinging away and the recovery of precious metal filings to deal with.

[meil]

The 'jeweller's apron' attached to the workbench? This from a trade which has amassed centuries of experience of small, vital and sometimes expensive bits pinging away and the recovery of precious metal filings to deal with.

Yes great piece of apparel - until you forget you have it on and get up from your bench!!

[newbryford]

One partial solution - do not use a patterned carpet.

[woodenhead]

A sterile white room with glass floor solves the problem

[great central]

A sterile white room with glass floor solves the problem

Although the required uniform with all the belts and buckles makes modelling something of a challenge:-)

[Edwardian]

I think funding is more likely to be forthcoming if the research can be linked to more a more widespread problem that affects a very large percentage of the population: The Sock Goblin, known for its obsessive need to collect one of every pair.

Edited August 20, 2018 by Edwardian

[polybear]

A sterile white room with glass floor solves the problem

 

Not when you drop glazing....

[Axlebox]

...take a sock from your collection of odd socks (see above), stick it onto the hoover nozzle and go on a bits hunt...its amazing what treasures your carpet collects.

[Steamport Southport]

...take a sock from your collection of odd socks (see above), stick it onto the hoover nozzle and go on a bits hunt...its amazing what treasures your carpet collects.

 

I believe tights/stockings work better. But you might get odd looks buying them.... 

 

 

 

Jason

[great central]

I believe tights/stockings work better. But you might get odd looks buying them....

 

 

 

Jason

You might be surprised how many men working on building sites in winter wear women's tights. Don't suppose they've all nicked them from wives/girlfriends?

 

Edit to change auto correct!

Edited August 20, 2018 by great central

[polybear]

You might be surprised how many men working on building sites in winter wear women's rights. Don't suppose they've all nicked them from wives/girlfriends?

 

From a report in one of today's newspapers (the free one available at rail stations) it seems that you can buy on Ebay (supposedly) used items previously worn by BA Stewardesses on long-haul flights, if that floats yer boat....

[tomparryharry]

The 'pinging part' has an  ratio.

 

The more important the part, the higher Incidence of Ping. Size has no affect to the ratio.

 

Observance of fall. " I saw where it went!" Sadly no, you didn't. Fall goes into a parallel  universe, where time & distance has no value. The reverse Incidence of Ping happens when you illuminate the supposed impact area. This increases the impact area exponentially.

 

Open paint source. It's well known that an open paint source, such as a small paint pot, can disturb the flight path of Pinged Parts. Colour has an ability to attract Pinged parts, to alter the trajectory. Vivid solid colours, such as the yellow & red spectrums, have the highest attraction rate.

 

Temperature. Warmth works outside of the colour spectrum. Pinged parts generally seek out warmth, such as a soldering iron. Some Pinged Parts will seek out areas of sustenance, such as flux, and its derivatives.

 

Adhesive & thinners. The Solar System in our own galaxy has 2 large, star-like planets, being the Sun, and Jupiter. These capture any unwary objects floating through space.  Our modelling universe also contains 2 gravity-attracting sources, either capable of attracting Pinged Parts.

 

Paint Stripper is a black hole.  The effect of Stripper on a Pinged part is only theoretical. Not enough information is known of the outcome.

 

The Tornado effect. Everything is subject to the Tornado. Its occurrence is random, but enough to reduce fertile areas to sterile plains. The Tornado will have a name such as Russel Hobbs, Kirby & Vax. Larger parts can escape the maelstrom, but smaller Pinged Parts have a lesser chance of survival.

 

The Egyptian effect. Pinged Parts might not be lost, they are stored. captured in a Aspic-like state, they await re-discovery.

 

Interpretation. Archaeological digs will often turn up Pinged parts. However, it sometimes needs careful interpretation. " I know what it is, blowed if I can remember!"    

 

Happy digging!

 

Ian.

[The Johnster]

i blame the Space Elves from the planet Zarg.  As well as stealing single socks from inside the tumble dryer while it is in use, which they transmute with their advanced Space Elf technology, or magic as it is known, into wire coat hangers which they then return to the back of my wardrobe, they are somehow in league with the Carpet Monster, which I can only assume regards them as some sort of deity which requires small screws, Modelu lamps, and vital springs as a sacrifice.

 

Nobody knows why, not even the Space Elves.

 

The noo noo, which Ian describes as the Tornado, is all powerful and all consuming; even the Space Elves are scared of it.

[HLT 0109]

Or, better still, these brainboxes can focus their brainpower into designing a pair of perfect tweezers that don't cause tiny parts to ping off and become food for the Carpet Monster in the first place!

 

. . . .  or tweezers that know exactly here it has pinged to and guide one to it.

[Titan]

Why don't you dismantle things in a clear plastic bag? If something goes ping it stays in the bag.

[alastairq]

I believe that when we come to explore a black hole in space, the first thing we will find,will be......... A carpet?

[davknigh]

I would also like to endorse the jeweler's apron as being a Good Thing. In addition to that, when the inevitable happens, a good strong light from the side and close to the floor throws even the smallest part into relief, even Kadee coupler springs have been found this way.

 

Cheers,

 

David

[Enterprisingwestern]

Boffins would be better employed inventing an anti gravity switch which can be deployed whilst modelling, hence the carpet monster holds no fears.

 

Mike.

[meil]

Boffins would be better employed inventing an anti gravity switch which can be deployed whilst modelling, hence the carpet monster holds no fears.

 

Mike.

Is that before or after you hit the ceiling?

[Captain Kernow]

I thought everyone knows that it's the sudden and unexpected opening up of a wormhole to a distant galaxy, far, far away. The wormhole then closes as soon as it detects someone getting down on their hands and knees and/or the deployment of a torch or other movable light source.

 

Sometimes the parts that go through the wormhole are not to the Zillon's taste, so they occasionally return them, but not before their spies have informed them (via the Galactic Universal Formulaic Frequency) that the human has now fabricated a replacement.

[PhilJ W]

I think funding is more likely to be forthcoming if the research can be linked to more a more widespread problem that affects a very large percentage of the population: The Sock Goblin, known for its obsessive need to collect one of every pair.

I have found a way of defeating the sock goblin, I buy socks in multiple identical pairs.

Edited August 21, 2018 by PhilJ W

[alastairq]

Will the human race's first alien contact bring about the return of a trillion Kadee coupler springs..I wonder?

[PhilJ W]

Will the human race's first alien contact bring about the return of a trillion Kadee coupler springs..I wonder?

More likely a trillion odd socks.

[tomparryharry]

I have found a way of defeating the sock goblin, I buy socks in multiple identicle pairs.

The Sock Goblin lies in darkened places. He will look out for single socks, once consumed he will leave the remaining sock as a calling card.

 

After a while, hunger will overtake the Sock Goblin. At this point, his alter-ego comes into play....

 

... The elastic from your underpants  thief....