Aspergers - Adult Diagnosis

[Ian J.]

I'm normally OK with clear jokes, as I am with established metaphors. What can cause me trouble is when it isn't clear someone is joking though they think they are, as they could be relying on social etiquette which I don't get intuitively at all.

[griffgriff]

Been a while since I have visited the thread.

 

As an aside....

 

ASD is now recognised, rightly so in my opinion,as a condition rather than a disorder. So now it’s ASC.

 

Griff

[alastairq]

I'm normally OK with clear jokes, as I am with established metaphors. What can cause me trouble is when it isn't clear someone is joking though they think they are, as they could be relying on social etiquette which I don't get intuitively at all.

 I often get this as well.....

I think it has much to do with one's own emotional mood at the time.....

 

I don't do social etiquette anyway...taught it, learnt it, discarded it long ago.

[toolongtoremember]

 I often get this as well.....

I think it has much to do with one's own emotional mood at the time.....

 

I don't do social etiquette anyway...taught it, learnt it, discarded it long ago.

Same as me, so much easier that way. 

[Junctionmad]

My wife works with autistic kids , on a recent trip with me on a gricers rail trip she said “ I should be getting expenses for this trip “

[Kickstart]

I am being referred for a check for asd and / or adhd.

 

Might take a while

 

Katy

[Ian J.]

Been a while since I have visited the thread.

 

As an aside....

 

ASD is now recognised, rightly so in my opinion,as a condition rather than a disorder. So now it’s ASC.

 

Griff

 

I've always felt, in my case, that it's a condition when it's often been described as a 'hidden disability'. In it's more severe forms I can see it being disabling, but in the subtle cases it's more accurately described as a condition IMHO. That doesn't make it any less difficult interfacing with the NT world and it's social norms though.

Edited December 16, 2018 by Ian J.

[griffgriff]

I've always felt, in my case, that it's a condition when it's often been described as a 'hidden disability'. In it's more severe forms I can see it being disabling, but in the subtle cases it's more accurately described as a condition IMHO. That doesn't make it any less difficult interfacing with the NT world and it's social norms though.

[griffgriff]

Indeed. With some it can be disabling but many things can be. For many the difficulties they face can be helped by a little more understanding from those of a ‘neurtypical’ disposition.

 

I’m glad that in your case you see autism as a condition rather than a burden.

 

Griff

[Kickstart]

Hiya

 

It certainly can be disabling for severe cases. Those cases likely being the only ones to be recognised 30+ years ago

 

All the best

 

Katy

[Stubby47]

Interesting idea that autism is a condition or a disability.

 

We just think of Chris as Chris - it's just part of who he is rather than anything separate. Yes, he's severely affected in his desire to speak and has a reduced mental age, but we feel that (in his case) a condition can be 'cured' and a disability can be recognised and thus compensated for.

 

Not wishing to criticise or argue with any other viewpoint, far from it, but as NT parents it's how we see him (as opposed to how he sees himself, which we're not sure he's able to understand).

Edited December 17, 2018 by Stubby47

[MarkC]

My daughter, who has just turned 23, was assessed as being an Aspie 18 years ago.

 

It's been a long, difficult journey, with lots of tears, tantrums and arguments, but she achieved great GCSEs, has done 2x 2 year college courses in which she achieved very high achievement levels, and has since done a catering apprenticeship. She's incredibly intelligent, and we have tried not to use being an Aspie as an excuse for poor behaviour or underachieving. She's also a very talented baker, and has her own small cupcake and cookies business, as well as working part time in a cafe.

 

However, there are limits. She was 20 before we let her start driving lessons, but after 2 years and several 'close calls', we all agreed that this was perhaps one step too far, as her perception of relative movement and anticipation were not good enough. As her instructor said, on a good day she would pass without any issues, but then what? She was incredibly mature about it, and as we pointed out to her, at least she tried. You can't ask for any more than that.

 

At least these days it's not the stigma that it all once was, and I can only wish all Aspies every success in what they do.

[HonestTom]

I'm normally OK with clear jokes, as I am with established metaphors. What can cause me trouble is when it isn't clear someone is joking though they think they are, as they could be relying on social etiquette which I don't get intuitively at all.

 

Oddly enough, I have the opposite problem, in that I'll often be making what I think is a hilarious joke, but others find it hard to pick up on because my delivery is pretty deadpan and my sense of humour is often quite esoteric and dark.

 

I've often wondered if I might have some form of ASD. Certainly it would explain a lot of my personality traits. An ex-girlfriend told me she was pretty sure I did (never date a psychologist). I always found social interaction quite difficult and developed a sense of humour in order to compensate - it was a lot easier to make friends if I could make them laugh than if I had to rely on the usual methods, and I could often cover up a social faux pas by pretending it was a joke. I work with a youth theatre group as my other hobby, which attracts a lot of people on the spectrum, and I find them a lot easier to deal with than the other staff do.

 

To be honest, I'm in my mid-thirties now and find myself wondering if there would be any point in getting a diagnosis now.

[Ian J.]

...but we feel that (in his case) a condition can be 'cured' and a disability can be recognised and thus compensated for.

 

I think of conditions as being able to be either curable or not curable. It's entirely dependent on the condition. In the case of Autism, I don't believe it's curable. The use of the word 'condition' is to differentiate subtle forms of the state from the more severe ones.

 

...To be honest, I'm in my mid-thirties now and find myself wondering if there would be any point in getting a diagnosis now.

 

If you're getting by OK with how you are, and not struggling to deal with society, then the diagnosis is probably meaningless. I had my assessment due to issues with the likes of government departments such as the NHS and DWP. Having had the assessment and its results, it highlighted many other areas in my life where I had been struggling (and continue to struggle) to deal with people (particularly in social contexts), seemingly without them or me ever understanding that there might be an underlying problem and just believing I wasn't trying hard enough to 'fit in'. My takeaway from it was that I shouldn't be trying to fit a society that I can't ever fit. How that may play out the next time I become jobless and have to sign on I have yet to find out.

[LNWR18901910]

I am autistic and proud about it but at the same time ashamed. I did not ask to be austitic, I was born that way. So what if I do come off as mildly-eccentric? I can be soft-spoken every now and then, but I do tend to be big and loud at times and not just for the sake of showmanship. Most of the time, I do pretend I don't have a disabillity as I fear that it would come between me and forming social relationships with people without disabilities who I call 'ables'. And anyway, I was diagnosed with it at the age of four and the only way they could communicate with me is through trains (mostly the TTTE stuff, but I do not wish to bore anybody with all the details).

 

And what's this I hear about curable? Utterly preposterous! Do they really think medications will curve our symptoms? I think not! It's not like we have an infectious disease or some kind of plague virus or something (which thankfully we do not, but if some do, I apologise and you have my sympathy). It's bad enough we have been denied jobs as that has us limited to voluntary work and such. No matter how hard we work, they still reject us from paying jobs that they always give to normal, regular everyday people. All that hard work for nothing, too.

 

Do we come from another planet? Absolutely not - we were born on this planet and we have a right to be seen and heard. I am standing up for my kind and myself for the sake of a better world and a better future for our kind! I say stop splitting us into groups and let us mingle with regular people.

[Edge]

Just received my own aspergers diagnosis in this last week. I've told work and a friend, but nobody else (sorry, you lot don't count ) as i don't consider it to be too important. The issues I had both before and after the diagnosis are still there, just with a label attached to them now - and I work very hard to make sure that I get along with others without letting my (now diagnosed) condition get in the way too much.

[alastairq]

My view is.....there are no 'able-bodied', or 'able' people...anywhere, and never have been, nor will there be.

 

Anybody who considers themselves to be 'normal', is immediately showing a disability.

 

Everybody has a physical ability which others do not.....and others are able to do things we cannot, physically.

 

The same goes for mental, or psychological abilities [or, the lack of?]

 

Personalities [or characters?] can easily be proven to be a disability.

 

Even the most balanced individual, by the very nature of their 'balance', can be shown to have a disability.

 

Visible, or invisible?

 

Still a disability.

 

We live in a society where there is apparently, an unwritten definition of the degree of disability that can be acceptable.

 

Disability is also very much a matter of perception. 

 

There is a lack of honesty in the way we look at ourselves....which really needs addressing.

[Ian J.]

I've just been reading up on this article on the BBC: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-51475739

 

Some interesting stuff in there regarding the more subtle forms of ASD. There's a link to the research article: https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y which contains this table of the various behaviours to try and get by in social contexts: https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y/tables/1.

 

I definitely do the 'masking' when I'm in social situations, but I'm tend more to 'accommodate', i.e., try and find situations where I can be myself, as that's the least tiring option.

[hayfield]

Each and everyone of us are unique, the way nature has designed evolution is not to copy exactly but to take parts from each parent to form something unique. Its how our species evolves and survives.

 

Whenever charistics of certain conditions are described I and I guess others can see certain traits in themselves. Thinking back to my school days when no one was statemented we accepted that some children were quite different, some were slightly different, when in fact we all were different. We all had skills which manifested themselves in different ways. Now it seems educationalists and sociologists want to group us all into small concise groups, claiming anyone who falls out of these criteria has an issue.

 

Some folk have always been people persons, others loaners. Some are loud others are quiet. I know someone who is a wizard with computer, but just cannot tie knots. I am certain if I sat down with a Psychologist they would tell me I am on some sort of spectrum (I would be worried if I were not). There are some social and physical skills I find hard, others I find easy. I just put it down to, like everyone else I am unique  

 

  

[Ian J.]

I agree we are all different, but are some more so than others. Many people share similarities, enough so that they are able to feel part of a human societal whole and find a way to comfortably live within it. There is, however, a general attitude in society that everyone, without exception, is OK with mucking in together and getting along socially. In my bitter experience, such an approach is expected.

 

Part of the 'problem' is that even in our more enlightened times today, that attitude within society (and that includes government and private institutions as well as family and other social groups) leads to a belief that everyone is capable of adapting to whatever circumstances are forced on them by the wider world. That includes being able to do whatever task is shown them. Those tasks (and the jobs that involve them) are increasingly about successful human interaction, either in part or in whole. For people with ASD conditions and disabilities*, such tasks are very likely beyond them, leading to joblessness and the issues that come with that (not least not enough money to live on and significant depression, often leading to suicide). By gaining a better understanding of such conditions and disabilities and being able to diagnose people with them, the rest of society can 'know' that expecting someone with ASD to be able to do whatever is asked of them, successfully and without any issues and in accordance with society's expectations, is not going to happen. Other solutions for them (us) need to be found.

 

So in this instance, the 'grouping' under ASD can help.

 

*There are other conditions that can equally affect social ability, but I'm not covering them here.

[Kickstart]

Hiya

 

BBC article popped up today on autism

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-51475739
 

All the best

 

Katy

[Sprintex]

On 17/12/2018 at 15:57, HonestTom said:

 

Oddly enough, I have the opposite problem, in that I'll often be making what I think is a hilarious joke, but others find it hard to pick up on because my delivery is pretty deadpan and my sense of humour is often quite esoteric and dark.

 

I've often wondered if I might have some form of ASD. Certainly it would explain a lot of my personality traits. An ex-girlfriend told me she was pretty sure I did (never date a psychologist). I always found social interaction quite difficult and developed a sense of humour in order to compensate - it was a lot easier to make friends if I could make them laugh than if I had to rely on the usual methods, and I could often cover up a social faux pas by pretending it was a joke. I work with a youth theatre group as my other hobby, which attracts a lot of people on the spectrum, and I find them a lot easier to deal with than the other staff do.

 

To be honest, I'm in my mid-thirties now and find myself wondering if there would be any point in getting a diagnosis now.

 

I was in my late 40s when I first realised I may be on the ASD spectrum, while watching the very revealing documentary made by Chris Packham. The similarities in traits, feelings and behaviours were undeniable, and my fiancee was also in total agreement when she watched it later. 

 

I have never sought a formal diagnosis as I am lucky enough to be able to live and work without social or financial support from the state, albeit by making a few adjustments - I know many can't. I have almost no-one local who could vouch for me as a child, and the thought of being "interrogated" for hours by medical officials terrifies me. 

 

I would however recommend taking the Simon Baron-Cohen online test just to give you an idea if you are ASD or not, even if just for your own peace of mind:-

 

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

 

It has helped me answer questions about how I think, and the way I am sometimes, and made things a lot easier in my relationship with my fiancee as we both know now it's not just me being an a**ehole 

 

Paul

Edited February 16, 2020 by Sprintex

[LNWR18901910]

Quite lately, I have watched a number of videos based on mate crime and disability hate crime documentaries having since been a victim of one on more than one occassion (a long story I wish not to discuss) and it shows how society has failed numerous times to help those who cannot always look after themselves. It's too bad that some people take advantage of others with their kindness as their are two kinds of kindness - true and false.

 

True kindness is appreciating people for who they are and being honest, respectful and loyal even without expectation of something of financial worth in return whereas false kindness is taking advantage of others just to see how far they can do so without landing into trouble which they do eventually. Gifts do not make the honest friend but the deceitful exploitation makes the lying traitor.

 

If you haven't read or listened to The Devoted Friend by Oscar Wilde, you should know of the applicable moral which is not stated at the end but is instead implied so by reading the story and listening to it, only then can you truly understand what Wilde was trying to teach us like Aesop with his fables or Jesus with his parables. So what if a story with a moral is a bad and dangerous thing to tell a stubborn person? If they do not heed the lesson from that story, then I'm sorry to say it's their loss more than the person trying to each it through stories because they're the ones who ultimately learn them or end up learning them the hard way. However, in all fairness, if they can get the message across, then that's good.

[Kickstart]

On 16/02/2020 at 14:37, Sprintex said:

 

I would however recommend taking the Simon Baron-Cohen online test just to give you an idea if you are ASD or not, even if just for your own peace of mind:-

 

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

 

Mmmmm, 44

 

But sometimes difficult to know as built up some coping mechanisms . Eg, when you have gone to 6 different schools you have to get used to meeting new people

 

All the best

 

Katy

[Mountain Goat]

I am on a list for an assessment. It has been quite a journey to reach this stage and find out after 47 years that what I have been having are shutdowns, partial shutdowns and several burnouts in the last few years (Shutdowns and partial shutdowns I have had since the age of about six).

I never knew what they were or how to describe them and have had years of tests until doctors labelled me as some sort of hyper condriact where I was only allow3d one 3 minute visit per year and the doctor would sit there ignoring me looking at his watch and then "Next"... 

Eventually a few years ago I took the decision to change doctors and though that was not how I found out about autism (As I knew nothing!) and actually as I clam up with mindblank when seeing doctors, my current doctors hardly know anytjing as yet, but the change of doctors was like coming out of a 3rd world and coming into a modern world if that makes sense? I can get appointments. They take me seriously. Also, the old doctors "Lost" my medical history and so my new doctors had to start from scratch (So after well over 20 years of asking and asking foe an allergy test and never getting one as drs had said it was "Some sort of allergy" that I had... I asked these new doctors and straight away for the first time in my life I had the basic six point allergy test. Came up clear. I then knew it was something else... 

It is a long story how I realized I may be on the spectrum, and it took me two years to ask a doctor (Current doctors) as I kept clamming up with mind blank. But anyway. Here I am waiting to be assessed.