Aspergers - Adult Diagnosis

[laurenceb]

After a two and a half hour assessment I have been diagnosed as asbergers. That is the easy bit, now I have to work out what it means and how to deal with it. Thank to all for the support, it means a lot

[Ian J.]

I'm still working things out in my head about what my diagnosis means for me, in the past, now and in the future. Each person's autism is different, especially so in the more mild and subtle forms (as I have).

 

I think for me the most difficult thing is the insidiousness of the subtlety of it. To most people, on first contact, I appear pretty normal. So for brief meetings they might not realise that I won't react quite right, or respond as they might expect a more conventional socially wired person might. But for me it can be quite difficult to suddenly be expected to be a certain way and not know how to handle that. That can come across as rigidity, awkwardness or even aloofness, when none of those is intended. It just a facet of how the condition sits in my head.

 

The really annoying thing is I've been like that all my life, yet it took until now (47) for someone to realise something was identifiably wrong. There have been many incidents in my life which are probably linked to my autism, from school onwards, but were seen as just me being awkward or difficult for the sake of it and just not trying hard enough to 'fit in'. I apparently needed to be dumped into social situations and I'd just automagically fit. But despite that never working, no-one, no-one at all, thought 'hang on, maybe there's something else wrong here'.

 

The worse part is even with a diagnosis, I'm still concerned that some people will dismiss it as 'hogwash' and still try to force fit me into conventional society, despite the evidence that it's exactly the opposite I need (a greater degree of relative isolation and solitude) in order to cope and thrive.

[laurenceb]

Agree. The first conclusion I have come to is that I am still me but now I have a reason for the way I react to the world. Some of the questions I was asked surprised me because I just do things my way and think it "normal" but that is seen as a pointer. I will have to study and learn more over the coming months

[Kickstart]

The really annoying thing is I've been like that all my life, yet it took until now (47) for someone to realise something was identifiably wrong. There have been many incidents in my life which are probably linked to my autism, from school onwards, but were seen as just me being awkward or difficult for the sake of it and just not trying hard enough to 'fit in'. I apparently needed to be dumped into social situations and I'd just automagically fit. But despite that never working, no-one, no-one at all, thought 'hang on, maybe there's something else wrong here'.

Think part of this (you are just a touch younger than me, so at school at about the same time) is that when we were at school anything less than rain man levels of autism were not recognised in the slightest, nor something that would be seen as something to be helped. Kids were there to be hammered into a role.

 

All the best

 

Katy

[MarcD]

Also now you have your official diagnosis your employer is legally required to give you a workplace assessment under Equalities Act. Your line-manager needs to contact the DWP's Access to Work team. If your self-employed you can get in touch with them. Its reasonably straight forward. Access to Work with then arrange for an assessor to come out to see you in your workplace. He or she will look at what you do and what needs to be done to working practices, your physical place of work, education of you work colleagues and your ways of working.

 

I got a report which listed what need to be done to improve my workplace and with the aid of an education course come up with better coping strategies.

 

Marc  

[Ian J.]

As it stands, in my current job (which is still going, after getting weekly extensions) I don't believe I need to say anything. One of the beauties of temp work is that I only have to deal with people for a shortish period of time, and I get to do the work I know how to do rather than being asked to do other stuff. I'm hired for my knowledge and skill, not for my (in)ability to wrangle people.

Edited April 3, 2017 by Ian J.

[ess1uk]

i scored 29 on the first test (which did not surprise my wife)

and i then scored 13 on the EQ test

[MarcD]

As it stands, in my current job (which is still going, after getting weekly extensions) I don't believe I need to say anything. One of the beauties of temp work is that I only have to deal with people for a shortish period of time, and I get to do the work I know how to do rather than being asked to do other stuff. I'm hired for my knowledge and skill, not for my (in)ability to wrangle people.

 

As you are temping I would still give DWP a ring explain that you are temping and see what they can do for you. Do you work through an agency? as if you do they are responcable for your work place assessment.

 

Marc 

[Ian J.]

As the current temp job is going OK (that is, no issues around the autism) then I'm happy to wait to talk with DWP until it finishes. Then when I sign back on to the dole this time I can mention the diagnosis on day one (previously it was still something unquantified).

[laurenceb]

So now according to the idiots from the "dreaming spires" we are racist because we are reluctant to make eye contact! Thanks!http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-39692673

['CHARD]

So now according to the idiots from the "dreaming spires" we are racist because we are reluctant to make eye contact! Thanks!http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-39692673

 

That piece is disturbing on many levels to be honest.  Shocking, actually.

[Welly]

So now according to the idiots from the "dreaming spires" we are racist because we are reluctant to make eye contact! Thanks!http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-39692673

Some African cultures actually interpret eye contact as lack of respect for authority! http://www.brighthubeducation.com/social-studies-help/9626-learning-about-eye-contact-in-other-cultures/

[Ian J.]

Eye contact (or the lack of it) isn't necessarily a condition of autism, though I gather it is fairly common. It should also be noted that as we get older our abilities to cope and cover various aspects of the condition can mean such things as eye contact issues become less pronounced. I know I used to have a slight issue with eye contact when younger, but now I've more or less overcome it.

[laurenceb]

I am one of those who have difficulty with eye contact and wear dark glasses as a means of coping.

[jessy1692]

Hmm just done the test on the first page and scored 40, iv often thought/been told im clear on the spectrum but never thought Aspergers myself, over the years i know iv developed coping mechanisms and developed different personas for different people/situation which probably isnt good. My nigh on 15 year relationship with my gf came to an end after xmas, shes diagnosed Aspergers and borderline bi polar and having a real tough time at the mo but wont let me help (off to the docs next week to ask for assessment) she has said too much has happened over the years and we both never back down or forgive and i dont understand. Reading this topic has opened my eyes and perhaps its time i look into Aspergers and Autism for myself abd just see how my vision of 'right and wrong' perhaps isnt as black and white as i think.

Thanks chaps

James

[Suzie]

My eye contact was quite good...

 

...until at the age of five I was told that it is rude to stare...

 

I wish people would make up their mind!

[The Lurker]

Think part of this (you are just a touch younger than me, so at school at about the same time) is that when we were at school anything less than rain man levels of autism were not recognised in the slightest, nor something that would be seen as something to be helped. Kids were there to be hammered into a role.

 

All the best

 

Katy

Which is why it seems that autism is more prevalent than it was when we were kids.

 

The fact that it is a spectrum also means that there are people who say that we are all have a little bit of autism in us. Personally I don't think that this is helpful at all, as it conflates things like shyness with aspects of ASD. A shy person will naturally be able to intuit what the "required" social role is, even if they can't do it or don't like it. Someone with ASD will generally not be able to intuit this - it often has to be modelled and so can become a learned behavior. In this respect early diagnosis can help because support can be provided; as a parent I can model behavior for my younger son, and have learned that things that came naturally to my elder son do not come easily to him. Speech for example. Younger son is a visual learner, which makes picking up how to speak very difficult, which in turn was how we came to learn that he was on the spectrum. We have learned with him. We try to ensure that he understands that certain behavior or reactions are not acceptable, and try to model what a more suitable response is in social situations. He doesn't yet know he is on the spectrum (he is 8 1/2) but he is noticing that he is different from the children in his class. And they are starting to pick up too. We have made a decision to start to explain it to him over the summer as we believe that this will help him understand himself and his many talents.

 

Sorry, a bit OT as this thread is about adult diagnosis.

[Stubby47]

Eye contact (or the lack of it) isn't necessarily a condition of autism, though I gather it is fairly common. It should also be noted that as we get older our abilities to cope and cover various aspects of the condition can mean such things as eye contact issues become less pronounced. I know I used to have a slight issue with eye contact when younger, but now I've more or less overcome it.

 

Lack of eye contact is very apparent with my son (22 yo, autistic) - I had no idea I was talking to you (until I asked someone afterwards) at Taunton, so you have overcome it exceedingly well.

Stu

[Ian J.]

Lack of eye contact is very apparent with my son (22 yo, autistic) - I had no idea I was talking to you (until I asked someone afterwards) at Taunton, so you have overcome it exceedingly well.

Stu

 

It was never a big problem for me, even as a child, so it was one of the easier things I could learn to overcome. It's still in me, a little bit, but the learned behaviours of 47 years make it more difficult for others to see the condition in me. It is more noticeable when people get to know me over time, or if I have a more detailed conversation about my life and how it's turned out (as was the case with the assessment).

 

 

Which is why it seems that autism is more prevalent than it was when we were kids.

 

The fact that it is a spectrum also means that there are people who say that we are all have a little bit of autism in us. Personally I don't think that this is helpful at all, as it conflates things like shyness with aspects of ASD. A shy person will naturally be able to intuit what the "required" social role is, even if they can't do it or don't like it. Someone with ASD will generally not be able to intuit this - it often has to be modelled and so can become a learned behavior. In this respect early diagnosis can help because support can be provided; as a parent I can model behavior for my younger son, and have learned that things that came naturally to my elder son do not come easily to him. Speech for example. Younger son is a visual learner, which makes picking up how to speak very difficult, which in turn was how we came to learn that he was on the spectrum. We have learned with him. We try to ensure that he understands that certain behavior or reactions are not acceptable, and try to model what a more suitable response is in social situations. He doesn't yet know he is on the spectrum (he is 8 1/2) but he is noticing that he is different from the children in his class. And they are starting to pick up too. We have made a decision to start to explain it to him over the summer as we believe that this will help him understand himself and his many talents.

 

Sorry, a bit OT as this thread is about adult diagnosis.

 

I have no particular issues with a bit of drift. In fact sometimes it can help understand. In my case, I knew I didn't fit in at school and I never connected well with other children. The teachers noticed but didn't understand, as did other adults, mainly the parents of the few friends I had outside of school. But being both someone who tended to isolate himself, and coming from a family which was seriously broken before it even started, meant that no-one bothered to take notice other than to berate me for not fitting in. If I was the same child today I think (I hope) things would be different. Unfortunately for me it's all really too late as now I'm approaching fifty the help I really need is difficult to get, and the 'system' doesn't really want to help (due in no small part to the huge economic ****hole we still seem to be in).

[30801]

I guess this is kind of on-topic.

 

The local paper published this appeal to allow an autistic lady to keep the horse she's been borrowing which has helped her greatly.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/megandlily

[Ian J.]

I recently watched this TED video that gives a little insight into the history of the understanding of Autism. Of particular note is Kanner's belief in excluding all but the most severe cases, while Asperger saw the condition as a much more diverse spectrum:

 

https://www.ted.com/talks/steve_silberman_the_forgotten_history_of_autism

 

Edit: also this talk by Wendy Chung. It's a bit dated as it mentions Google Glass at one point, but otherwise is a slightly more technical view of the condition https://www.ted.com/talks/wendy_chung_autism_what_we_know_and_what_we_don_t_know_yet

Edited May 12, 2017 by Ian J.

[BG John]

Thomas gets an autistic friend!

https://inews.co.uk/essentials/engine-autism-track-new-thomas-tank-engine-blockbuster-film/

[Ian J.]

I saw this on BBC News today:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-41658859/chris-packham-why-i-wouldn-t-change-my-asperger-s

 

The full programme (which I can't watch as I don't have a TV licence):

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b09b1zbb/chris-packham-aspergers-and-me

[hayfield]

I saw this on BBC News today:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-41658859/chris-packham-why-i-wouldn-t-change-my-asperger-s

 

The full programme (which I can't watch as I don't have a TV licence):

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b09b1zbb/chris-packham-aspergers-and-me

 

 

My daughters youngest step daughter has met(and worked with) with Mr Packham during a charity event, most enlightening for her

 

Plus my wife watched the program which she found very interesting and informative.  

[30801]

I saw this on BBC News today:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-41658859/chris-packham-why-i-wouldn-t-change-my-asperger-s

 

The full programme (which I can't watch as I don't have a TV licence):

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b09b1zbb/chris-packham-aspergers-and-me

 

He starts the programme by saying "I'm talking to you but I'm thinking about the Me 163" which is one of those "I recognise that" things.

 

Currently four weeks into waiting three weeks to hear back from my GP about an assessment...