Early Risers.

[Coombe Barton]

https://johncolby.wordpress.com/2019/05/12/sandys-chemo-day-138-of-147/

[Tony_S]

5 hours ago, Natalie said:

m really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again.

I don’t think you are whining. Dealing with someone else’s health issues isn’t easy. Moving from a position of being someone’s child (even though you are now an adult) to being a carer/advisor is an added complication.  Getting help and support from outside can sometimes be a postcode lottery. My Mum was somewhat written off until she moved to be nearer my brother and suddenly found that all her ailments were supported. 

People on this bit of the forum have been really kind to me over the past year. Sharing your worries isn’t whining.

Tony

[Coombe Barton]

12 minutes ago, Tony_S said:

 

People on this bit of the forum have been really kind to me over the past year. Sharing your worries isn’t whining.

 

Echo what Tony said about the kindness and support of this forum. It helps me carry on - yes, really it does.

[laurenceb]

And the support is not only electronic, both Andyram and Andy P asked how I was when  saw them today wth offers to talk. Thanks folks

I have been a bit better over the weekend, two days selling books helps!

Night awl

[Barry O]

Goodnight all!

Lots of positive thoughts to all who ail or suffer from the actions of others

Baz

[BSW01]

 

Well it’s been a beautiful sunny day here in the northwest, the workshop door has been open all day and I’ve enjoyed the pice and quiet, I think all the neighbours kids were all inside watching the football. 

 

The repair I made to the radius arm yesterday didn’t work. So I went to plan B, which on reflection I should have done first. But it meant that I had to unsolder the joint between the combination lever and radius arm. I then soldered a small piece of waste nickel silver behind the break. I then needed to re-drill the hole in the radius arm for the joint. But as this was next to the break, it meant also drilling through the strengthening piece too. Then, using a replacement rivet, I re-soldered the combination lever and radius arm joint. That seemed to work well, but it then highlighted the fact that the valve gear was now occasionally catching and jamming on the slide bars and/or the connecting rod. Upon close inspection I think I’ve been a bit too generous with the amount of play I’ve left in the joints. So I think a complete rebuild will be the order of the day when the replacement set arrives, but this time I’ll use thinner paper for the spacing than the paper that I originally used. Perhaps a couple of small pieces of tissue paper instead of small bits of A4 printer paper would be better.

 

Natalie. I can only echo the advice that’s been offered by members of this forum. 

 

Goodnight all 

[Gwiwer]

Quote

people with real actual problems (like Rick

Natalie

 

You are most welcome to share your thoughts here among friends and supportive ones at that.  "Real actual problems" - well most of us have them if truth be told.  Anyone who self-harms or od's has - or has had - a "Real actual problem" make no mistake.  I have carried dear friends through the loss of loved ones (in one case their eldest son who left a six-week old child behind) following such things.  I know several of my friends are "cutters".

 

Let's put this bluntly.  There is no c0ck-waving contest here; your problems are neither less nor more relevant than others.  In this place we are equals.  You have chosen to take the stronger way and to share them - well done and thank you.  Most of us have something in our lives making it harder than it needs to be and over which we may or may not have any degree of control.  Some things may be thought more serious than others but any problem shared is a problem eased.  One of the worst things is to leave matters unspoken - perhaps for fear of being thought trivial or a whinger - when in fact there is a cry for help or support being made. 

 

I don't have ready answers.  But I do listen.  I listen at any time and to anyone who wishes to be heard.  ERs is a supportive place and I am very sure you will find something here to at least ease your mind and help you take one minute at a time.  Please keep us posted.  It's not trivial - we are here as a community who offer friendship, support and (when we can) help and good advice.  

 

In other news it's been a beautiful warm day during which I have fiddled with tiny trains, cooked, cleaned, tinkered with the pots claiming to be a garden and this afternoon, while SWMBO was asleep in front of the tv, I took myself off for a cycle ride.  Up to Teddington Lock, cross the Thames, down to Richmond and cross once more to return up to the Hill of Strawberries.  Lovely.  Except for the the entitled idiots who decided it would be clever to stand right in front of me, abusing me (and other cyclists) by forcing us to stop then yelling obscenities and suggestions about how they plan to deal with "nuisances on bikes".  It's a shared-use path and signposted as "Cycle Route".  Just a shame it has to be shared with such unpleasant and selfish oiks.  

 

A beer on the lawn was enjoyed during the later afternoon with plenty of comings and goings from neighbouring flats and friendly though brief chats as folk arrived or left.  Neighbours (Next Door) and (Upstairs) all arrived home with new gladrags for their Summer Ball this coming Friday.  That will be one noisy night.  It's also the completion of my annual trip around the sun making it a good excuse to be out at a House of Falling-Down Waters while our students make noise at home before partying through the night.

 

Tomorrow I start my second week of Summer Leave with warm sunshine forecast all day.  SWMBO has a doctor's appointment at 8am and has to collect a sleep-study kit from the hospital ay 4pm but will be at work between those events having made a steady recovery from her cold today.  

 

It is time to attempt sleep.  Good night all.  Best wishes and thoughts to those unable to be with us for any reason.

 

 

[tetsudofan]

Reading Natalie's story above reminds me of the time when I was caring for my Mum when she had dementia and reaching the end of my tether. Luckily for me the Admiral Nurse at that time realised what was going on and arranged to get Mum into respite care in a couple of hours. If that nurse had not been around at that time I hate to think what could have happened.

 

On a much more happier note I went for a long train ride in this train:

 

 

This was the first time I had been on a trip operated by Hastings Diesels Limited (in conjunction with GBRf). The train started at Hastings which I joined at Tonbridge after which the train headed for Bromley South, Kensington Olympia, the North London Line, Stratford and Norwich before reversing for the short journey to Lowestoft. Everything ran to schedule until we reached Norwich and headed for Lowestoft where we arrived about 30 minutes late... and guess what caused the delay?

 

 

Yes, it was swans on the lines!!

 

Father swan was leading the pack with Mother swan and family following under the careful watch of one of the guys from GBRf and once the family was safely across we continued our journey to Lowestoft.

 

 

Just before the train reached Lowestoft Station I took the following pic from my seat on the train:

 

 

Why take this picture you may ask?  The second house from the end (with the newer tiles) was my grandparents house and from that window my brother and I spent hours watching trains entering and leaving Lowestoft back in the late 1950s/early 1960s - the cause of my continuing interest in railways!  Back in those days the bushes were not to be seen, the area was devoted to allotments and you could just see the ground floor of the house from the train.

 

Keith

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PhilJ W]

Goodnight all.

[The Stationmaster]

G'night all.

[Natalie]

Thanks to all those who have responded. It is appreciated and has been helpful.

 

Sorry for writing in medical acronyms,  bad habit Im afraid.  THR and TKR are as suggested being total hip and total knee replacement.  #NOF is fractured neck of femur ie top of femur- can also result in shaft of femur. Either way not injuries to have if you can help it.

 

I have some of the AgeUK booklets and some things to maybe look into. I am not keen on attending support groups as I tend to suffer from anxiety as well as being anti social and preferring to be on my own. Misanthropic is the umbrella term I think. I also have some elements of aspergers and tend to need a logical approach but am often accused of being deliberately awkward- generally if I am saying something challenging or not wanting to be heard. I can't understand a lot of the reactions i get as it is not like i am refusing to help and forcing mother to have to do these things herself. I have no problems with helping. It just feels like I am not being acknowledged or listened to and my onion is of no interest.  Maybe i am just being paranoid and over sensitive. Absolutely the last thing I want is for mother to fall and get a # and not survive the surgery or rehab. I have seen it happen countless times.  I do not want my mother to die as that is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It is far easier to look after someone who is not a loved one- not that you don't care about those as well- but the emotional bond is not as intense.

 

I can fully understand suddenly not being able to do the things that you previously could- it wouldn't impress me much either- but it is not my fault and not a situation of my choosing.  I do note the comment about "always hurting the ones you love/ nearest to you."

 

Unfortunately my way of dealing with really acute situations like this is to cut myself or if really stressed to od- neither of which I ever did before I had a breakdown about 7 years ago.  I am aware of the triggers and will usually enact the 'flight' part as it gets me away from meds, blades and shards of glass etc.  It is all about control of the situation and having the ability to escape it.

 

The cup idea sounds good. I might suggest that. You never know. We can get around the carrying part by the use of an apron front pocket. 

 

Anyways I just wanted to both thank and reassure people here (though slightly not helped by the efforts of Spurs in managing to throw away 3rd place to a far worse performing team) that I am in an improved place atm. Got the black dog Minnie the Mop by my side literally which is a huge help and comfort. 

 

I'll check back in later and maybe give some context into why things have been such a strain on my mental health and why I feel like I do. 

 

Seemingly this week is Mental Health Awareness week. Message to HMG- there is more than br#@&t going on in the country.  Try to show some compassion and care for your fellow citizens and humans and stop slashing funding to mental health care and regarding it as a failure/ weakness on the part of those affected. It is a very real illness which devastates and destroys many many lives daily- lives which mean something and are important to someone. 

 

 As someone apparently said 'tomorrow is another day' and a new horizon too. 

 

Nite awl.

 

Hugs

Nat

x

Edited May 13, 2019 by Natalie

[jamie92208]

Hi

12 hours ago, Natalie said:

Hi

Im really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again.

 

I live at my 71 year old mum's as I lost my house and belongings 6  years ago. Without her I would already be dead.

 

She is awaiting 2x TKR and  2 x THR for at least before Christmas.  Her mobility was usually excellent and unaided but deteriorated literally over night to using 2 elbow crutches which are effective but obviously slow. The main issue is that she just will not accept that she needs help with things like carrying hot drinks and food around.  Daily since Christmas at least I have said multiple times to her to not carry things when on crutches as they will destabilise you and increase the risk of falling. I have tried to explain that the last thing you want is a #NOF as the mortality rates are exceptionally high for the first year. But she refuses to listen. She always knows best. Apparently I am the one that is causing the problems and trying to stop her doing anything.  I say on a twice daily basis that you cannot carry a glass bowl of hot porridge from the kitchen over an unsecured mat, up a 6" step whilst using both crutches but it is in one ear and out the next. Seemingly i dont know what i am talking about. Apparently she can't keep getting me to carry things despite me constantly saying that  is exactly what I want you to do. I would understand if I didn't do anything and refuse to help but this is not the case. I get rhat it is frustrating but it seems as though my concerns and feelings are of no relevance or importance. 

 

What is happening is that our relationship is plunging as is my mental health as I simply can't cope with this anymore. I don't like feeling like this or causing  it am scared as well that our relationship which has always been fairly good will breakdown permanently and irretrievably.  I didn't have ready access to my blade or bits of glass then I would have used them but that would have something else to be slagged off for. I would dearly love to be able to swallow all my meds  and be out of it all but feel guilty about that. I could get a carer I spose but can't afford it, it is my role to do the caring as I am here. There is no way she would tolerate a caret going in at set times and saying what needs to be done. I have no problem with being the carer. I just can't take the constant ignoring of my advice. 

 

I have said that it will be catastrophic if you fall and die early and rhe last thing that I want but that seemingly makes no difference. 

 

Why is it that I feel that I am being a complete for feeling this way and that maybe I dont know anything after all.

 

Im sorry to go on like this especially when there are people with real actual problems (like Rick or John Coombe Barton and Sandy) or without a previous introduction but I do read ER every day. How do you cope or manage when making that transition from offspring to carer- even if likely to be a temporary thing? I just feel like I am getting all the frustration and anger from mother over the loss of her mobility but it is not my fault.

 

I feel a bit better and shall return somewhat ironically to my actual real black dog (a black Patterdale terrier) Minnie the Mop who always makes things feel better

 

Best wishes

Natalie

Hi Natalie, from a long way away at the moment. You are not alone and have asked for help which is good. The advice offerred already is excellent.  The OT'S or occupational therapists are a must. They can be contacted via your GP I think. They have acccess to all sorts if things. One thing that helped when my wife had two broken wrsits in pot, and a variety of other things over the years, is a 4 wheeled trolley with an upper and lower shelf. Hot things can then be pushed safely. I used to load the trolley up before I went out anywhere. Beth retained her independence and didn't feel guilty for 'in her opinion only' for chaining me to the house. The other avenue that I would suggest us any local carers support network for you. I do wish you well in your situation.

 

Jamie

[jamie92208]

Evening all, from Roseville, near Sacremento. We wre now safely in our hotel after getting up at about 5.15am. It was worth it though as we sailed into Vancouver under the Lions Gate bridge as the sun was rising. However two othervcruise ships docked at the same time so we had chaos as 6000 passengers were processed and many of them were got to the airport.  Then it was down to San Francisco, debark, then ride the Airtrain to the car rental lot. We exited into heavy SF traffic in a Chevrolet Impala.  Wifi excellent. I even managed to see a UP loco whilst going slowly i  heavy traffic near the airport.  Off to nearby Orangeville tomorrow to see some friends we first met on an Amtrak train in 1995.

 

Regards to all.

 

Jamie

 

PS. The choice of a motel near the biggest UP yard and loco shed in California is purely a coincidence.

[chrisf]

Good morning one and all

 

Some may have wondered why Barry was hoping I am OK.  As some already know, the reason is that on Saturday morning I was knocked over by a bus in the centre of Exeter.  It was entirely my fault and I am indeed OK apart from bruised dignity and a few aches and pains where there were none before.  They say that fall comes before a Pride.  I got through the procession with no problems and was delighted to find myself marching in close proximity to a detachment of Great Western Morris, who were dancing the mile or so of the route.  This was the first Pride at which I have met someone I know.  Less successful was my attempt at ceilidh dancing in the afternoon.  I don’t think it was entirely down to the boots I was wearing: I may have been fazed by the caller, who was clad in spangly shorts and nothing else.  In other news, I am now the proud owner of a rainbow bobble hat and you bet I’ll be wearing it in public!  The journey down on Friday was a bit sluggish but yesterday I was home in four and a half hours including pit stops.  The park and ride bus between the hotel and the city centre worked well, apart from when one of them hit me.

 

The week ahead is busy.  Today I need to drop my prescription request into the surgery and pay a remittance from Ernie into the bank.  On Tuesday I am spending the day with Poorly Pal, on Wednesday we have Area Group in a different pub and on Thursday there is a screening of “Brokeback Mountain” in Stevenage.  Over the weekend is ExpoEM Spring in Bracknell.  Last year I had lots of sorrows to drown and seem to recall that I was ridiculously drunk on the Saturday night.  I’m making no promises for this year.

 

Best wishes to all and warm thoughts to Natalie

 

Chris

[Robert]

Morning All,

 

It is a nice bright morning in this part of the world.  After several days of rain (which admittedly we needed) it is nice to see the sun.

 

I spent most of yesterday afternoon constructing a baseboard, and finding out once again that I can't saw straight!

 

Natalie, sorry to hear about your problems.  Caring for elderly relatives can be a huge strain, particularly when they won't admit (or don't think) that they need help.  In your Mother's defence - the generation that we are talking about are fiercely independent and reluctant to admit that they need help.  My ex-wife's great aunt has now died, but when she was in her late 90s she fractured her hip carrying a tray down the stairs for the "old lady who lived in the flat below".  We thought this woman must have been positively ancient, but it turns out she was in her 60s!  There is no way she should have been carrying a tray anywhere - let alone down a flight of stairs, and certainly not for a woman 30 years younger than she was - but try telling them that!

 

However, that doesn't make it any easier for you.  Your use of medical acronyms suggests that you may have a medical background - and to be honest when it is your own family, that can often place additional strain on you.  If you are not one for support groups (which is perfectly Ok) have you thought about calling the Samaritans?  They are there for anyone who is in emotional distress or struggling to cope, and may well know how to help further.  One of the great things about the UK is that there is a fantastic network of support - you just need to know where and/or who to ask.

 

Have a good day everyone...

Edited May 13, 2019 by Robert

[TheQ]

Mooring Awl, Inner Temple Hare,

 

A surprisingly good night sleep, with all the aches and pains from the weekends work I was not expecting to sleep weel, as it was I went yp at 19:00, and  After finishing SPQR by Mary Beard, I've moved on to reading the Biography of "M" the real "M" Max Knight" after reading  the first couple of chapters you discover there were several private spying groups pre WW2 , I wonder how many there are now?

 

 

You may notice I don't generally comment on peoples woes, this is because I'm not that good at coping with people especially if there is some sort of problem. Working effectively on my own all my life has suited me quite well, I could never be a teacher or do a job like Gwiwer, as I would probably attempt to kill some of the customers..

 

This morning is a bright clould less sky and Ben the Border Collie wanted me to stay out in the garden with him, howeverI have work to go to and watching him bound through the jungle like John and Sandy's dogs in the garden in the frost was not appealing..

Frost... I scraped  the frost off the fromt windscreen to find... it had cracked passenger side top corner out into the screen as 45 degrees, A stress fracture I suppose. I'll have to look up the insurance to find the number to call for windscreens when I get home..

 

Today I have the joy of another new system to test, this one is for the new product, as they have too many to do and not enough equipment..

 

Time to go find the equipment...

 

 

[Barry O]

Ey up!

Nice and sunny here at the moment.

Mugatea just arrived so TTFN

Baz

[roundhouse]

Good morning form yet another sunny day.

 

Yesterday shed construction continued with me using up all the timber lengths suitable to go into the shed. So this morning I have been out to pick up more after dropping other half off for a G.W.Worm that ran fast through the station as it had been delayed so Delay Repay time and over 20 late for her.

 

I wIll go out after the morning rush to collect more timber form a different branch that stocks the size that I require for the ridge beam and eves board. Hopefully I will have all the timber framing completed ready for the delivery of insulation on Wednesday. I also had a quick play with the new stapler / nailer by temporarily fixing up spare polythene protection to one side of the roof.  This will have to come off to remove the temporary ridge board. I even had time to assemble the French door frame and check it fitted and is does with  the correct amount of tolerance . This will be fixed once the wall  membrane is installed. my other half will be glad to get the two doors out of the living room

[grandadbob]

Good morning all,

Blue sky and sunshine here and a fine day is promised.

First task is a visit to the opticians for some new reading glasses which I don't really need for reading unless it is miniscule instruction manuals for things Made in China and also should help with fiddly modelling tasks (according to her)

Next up will (hopefully) be a visit to the shed to cut wood and ply with both manual and power cutting appliances. Local emergency services will be put on alert.

Have a good one,

Bob.

 

 

Edited May 13, 2019 by grandadbob

[newbryford]

2 hours ago, jamie92208 said:

Evening all, from Roseville, near Sacremento. We wre now safely in our hotel after getting up at about 5.15am. It was worth it though as we sailed into Vancouver under the Lions Gate bridge as the sun was rising. 

 

Four days less than two years ago.

 

 

 

Thoughts to Natalie and her Mum.

 

Today is our first game in the North West Seniors League.

 

Time for a bacon butty before heading to Hurlston Hall near Ormskirk.

 

Catch up later.

 

FORE!

 

Cheers,

Mick

[Robert]

2 minutes ago, grandadbob said:

Next up will (hopefully) be a visit to the shed to cut wood and ply with both manual and power cutting appliances. Local emergency services will be put on alert.

 

May all your cuts be straight, and only where you want them to be!

[BSW01]

Good morning everyone 

 

The sun is shining, the sky is blue and there are very few clouds at the moment. Sheila has just left for her Zumba class and I’m about to load the car up with a couple of bags of rubble, mainly waste from trimming the plasterboard that I’ve been fitting in the cellar. Once back, I’ll carry on with my work in the cellar.

 

Back later

[tigerburnie]

Morning all, I hope all under the weather can get a ray of sunshine today.

I have been up since dawn, so a fair bit of quiet "G" work has been achieved, potting on butternut squashes and cucumbers amongst others. New roof for "TOSH" arrives on Thursday so after taking SWMBO to the doc's for a steroid jab it's "up on the roof" with hammer, nails and paint brush and wood preserver prep work before the panels go on, I notice the weather is due to deteriorate when I plan to assemble at the weekend, typical oh well. Have a noice dayyyyy

Edited May 13, 2019 by tigerburnie

[Barry O]

Busy morning so far. One bedroom door reduced in size and rehang. Shelf reduced inside and replaced.

Cork cut and glued onto fiddle yard board 1 (2 to go before track can be laid. Need to order some points from fraggle rock.

Ttidied up mess, put away tools then off for lunch with an old boss.

Baz

Ps the sun is still shining.

[Kingzance]

1 hour ago, tigerburnie said:

Morning all, I hope all under the weather can get a ray of sunshine today.

I have been up since dawn, so a fair bit of quiet "G" work has been achieved, potting on butternut squashes and cucumbers amongst others. New roof for "TOSH" arrives on Thursday so after taking SWMBO to the doc's for a steroid jab it's "up on the roof" with hammer, nails and paint brush and wood preserver prep work before the panels go on, I notice the weather is due to deteriorate when I plan to assemble at the weekend, typical oh well. Have a noice dayyyyy

I sometimes unintentionally "speed-read" and it happened in the case of your post Tigerburnie. I missed the "it's" between jab and up - so the thought of your SWMBO being jabbed with steroids up on her roof with hammer and nails appealed to my (timber phrase for all shed aficionados here) warped sense of humour. "Got it nailed" conjures up a whole new dimension . Of course I hope that the injection has the required effect!