How to get lynched at a model railway show

[Satan's Goldfish]

Or; 'Dr Beeching was a hero of mine.....'

[Horsetan]

Some fake signs need to be made and put up for this that simply lead people round in a figure of 8 (more amusing than a circle and ...

With DCC control, the figure of eight should not pose any electrical problems.

[Trebor]

or an inverted figure of eight, so you get to go around twice

Edited June 21, 2014 by Trebor

[andyram]

How to get lynched on RMWeb part 2:

 

Make any sort of constructive criticism or any non-positive comment about a show!!!!!

[Colin_McLeod]

Can we get a "lynch" rating, so that we can test out some of these theories?

[hornbyandbf3fan]

Can we get a "lynch" rating, so that we can test out some of these theories?

Who do we volunteer though to try it out

[Colin_McLeod]

My answer to that question could cause me to get lynched!!!

[newbryford]

Can we get a "lynch" rating, so that we can test out some of these theories?

 

 

Who do we volunteer though to try it out

 

 

My answer to that question could cause me to get lynched!!!

 

I'm sure we all have a list.........................

 

 

Cheers,

Mick

[TheQ]

And from Gilbert and Sullivan's, 2-8-2

 

(Ko-Ko:)
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)
He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

 

(Ko-Ko:)
There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not he missed!

 

(Chorus:)
He's got her on the list — he's got her on the list;
And I don't think she'll be missed — I'm sure she'll not be missed!

 

(Ko-Ko:)
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)
You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

 

 

 

 OK   Who can work out a proper verse with who must be lynched substituted?

 

 The Q

Edited June 23, 2014 by TheQ

[jamie92208]

And from Gilbert and Sullivan's, 2-8-2

 

(Ko-Ko:)

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,

I've got a little list — I've got a little list

Of society offenders who might well be underground,

And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —

All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —

All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —

All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —

And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —

They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

 

(Ko-Ko:)

There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,

And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!

And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,

They never would be missed — they never would be missed!

Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,

All centuries but this, and every country but his own;

And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,

And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";

And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —

I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not he missed!

 

(Chorus:)

He's got her on the list — he's got her on the list;

And I don't think she'll be missed — I'm sure she'll not be missed!

 

(Ko-Ko:)

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,

The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!

All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —

They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.

And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,

Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,

And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —

The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.

But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,

For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)

You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

 

 

 

 OK   Who can work out a proper verse with who must be lynched substituted?

 

 The Q

I think I prefer the bit of G & S abiut the punishment fitting the crime where the imortal lines come:-

 

The idiot who in railway carriages

Scribbles on window panes

May only suffer to ride on a buffer

In parliamentary trains.

 

 

However the best person to re write your selection would have been my late father who was brilliant at such tasks, and unfortunately we are no longer in a position to communicate directly.

 

 

Jamie

[C&WR]

There are people with huge backpacks, who push them in your face,

And those with body odour that's a  personal disgrace.

With people counting rivets telling you you've got it wrong,

And others who block your view and stand there for too long.

And sound fitted locos, which make a tinny din,

And every model railway cliche that had to be fitted in.

 

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

Edited June 23, 2014 by C&WR

[Andy Reichert]

 

Just keep a few handy in your pocket.

 

Andy

[Stubby47]

Vist the Kernow Model Rail Centre stall and ask for a Heljan 1361...

[muddys-blues]

See how long you can last walking round in the trade section wearing a name badge stating that you are "Mr. G. Diffen" worn on a tee shirt advertising "Gostude Antiques Toys, purveyor of fine model railway items & specialist kit built railway stock at exceptional value to the Railway Modeller" 

 

Craig.

Edited September 9, 2014 by muddys-blues

[Phil Bullock]

Leaving this train idling in the loop all day ought to do it!

 

 

Phil

[muddys-blues]

Leaving this train idling in the loop all day ought to do it!

 

 

Phil

 

Hi Phil, slightly on a similar vein to this one, a few years ago at the Porthmadog exhibition I remember there being a small roundy roundy industrial layout that had a sound fitted industrial diesel loco on it, but the operator was never seen to be operating the layout much, it had a loop sound of the engine idling over and some annoying seagulls sounds, I spoke to the lady on the next layout, and basically she was ripping her hair out, as the volume was not at a low level   this was only Saturday afternoon !! She still had Sunday to contend with 

 

Craig.

[hornbyandbf3fan]

Leaving this train idling in the loop all day ought to do it!

 

 

Phil

I think your punishment would be worse than a lynching! 

[Phil Bullock]

Ok - I think once round is enough for this working!!!

 

Hee hee

 

Phil

[Horsetan]

And from Gilbert and Sullivan's, 2-8-2

 

(Ko-Ko:)

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,

I've got a little list — I've got a little list

Of society offenders who might well be underground,

And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —

All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —

All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —

All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —

And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —

They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

 

(Ko-Ko:)

There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,

And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!

And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,

They never would be missed — they never would be missed!

Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,

All centuries but this, and every country but his own;

And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,

And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";

And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —

I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not he missed!

 

(Chorus:)

He's got her on the list — he's got her on the list;

And I don't think she'll be missed — I'm sure she'll not be missed!

 

(Ko-Ko:)

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,

The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!

All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —

They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.

And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,

Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,

And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —

The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.

But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,

For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

 

(Chorus:)

You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

 

 

 

 OK   Who can work out a proper verse with who must be lynched substituted?

 

 The Q

"Your name vill *also* go on zer list! Vot is it!?"

[TheQ]

Don't tell him Pike!!

[hornbyandbf3fan]

Don't tell him Pike!!

Still the best line in comedy, period!

[Phil Bullock]

Still the best line in comedy, period!

Absolutely!!! Helped by brilliant delivery

 

Although "I'm playing all the right notes sunshine - just not necessarily in the right order!" has to run it a close second.

 

Phil

[Jongudmund]

Leaving this train idling in the loop all day ought to do it!

 

 

Phil

 

I love how half the train is empty, like they ran out of coal before they ran out of wagons.

 

(Cool train though)

[GWR88]

Absolutely!!! Helped by brilliant delivery

 

Although "I'm playing all the right notes sunshine - just not necessarily in the right order!" has to run it a close second.

 

Phil

Ahh Morcombe and Wise. One of the best duos in British comedy!

Lloyd

Edited September 10, 2014 by GWR88

[talisman56]

Ahh Morcombe and Wise. One of the best duos in British comedy!

Lloyd

 

*Morecambe ... (as in 'Bring Me Sunshine)