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Things that make you :)


Andy Y

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I don't usually pay much attention to internet cats, but that was funny.

Subsequently having Googled "cats and c" (Google suggests "cucumbers" immediately) it was interesting to me just how viral this is, and the links include multiple references suggesting why it is not a good idea to deliberately startle a cat for laughs, including one with the reminder that felines know how to pay you back.

 

As the one time part 'owner' of a cat that went through what I would call a (thankfully short) psychotic phase I stand by my earlier comment, but wouldn't endorse experimenting on your own felines.

 

I never knew that the humble cucumber is the mortal enemy of the cat :lol:

In their defense if a big snake suddenly materialized behind me at the dinner table I might react similarly. Edited by Ozexpatriate
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I thought it might be Somerset ;).

Oi I represent oops resent that, I was born in Zomerset and live in Norfuk

Edited by TheQ
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I'm not sure whether the humour at the end of the following exchange, from a local chat site, is deliberate or not ...

 

"Chapeltown isn't really Sheffield!"

"So if Chapeltown isnt Sheffield where is it, as its not barnsley either"

"It's inside the Sheffield city boundary, but judging by the map there is a good deal of rural space in between urban Sheffield, and Chapeltown. It's not contiguous with the city."

"Good that means we can't catch it"

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Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Asda to get some early Christmas stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm thinking, What's her problem?! I finish my shopping and go to the tills. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same woman. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone so I don't have to look at her. Finally she says "I want to apologise for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad, after that and gave her my condolences. She said "Thank you...sorry, But I have a favour to ask. I know it's weird and I would understand completely if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mummy' to me?" Inside I'm thinking WTF?!?! But trying to be understanding, I went ahead and did it. She smiled, thanked me, and left.
Proper awkward! The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to £100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been about £40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my Mum's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your Mum said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my Mum. She said, "Well I saw you hug her and heard you call her Mummy!" !!...I flew out of the shop looking for this witch, ready to get her, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and as I started pulling her leg hard, it came off in my hands, so I grabbed her other leg and started pulling, just like I'm pulling yours right now!! Haha!

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Nicely put https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY4uWLOLKzU (smile when your batteries go flat?)

I spend a few seconds most days looking at my phone. It's got a useful sized clock on the screen that I can read without my glasses! Other than that, I seem to remember reading a text on it a few days ago, and giving some quick directions to a delivery driver. Very annoyingly, although EE reckon there's no problems with the local mast, the 2G signal keeps disappearing, so I've had to switch it to 3G, that means I have to be careful not to press a wrong button and connect (expensively) to the internet by mistake.

 

As I'm currently having a Facebook break, I think it's Andy York, rather than Mark Zuckerburg, who is running an Anti Social Network :jester:.

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 One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, " the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,"Sir, you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."



Come on now...you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story....did you????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

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Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Asda to get some early Christmas stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm thinking, What's her problem?! I finish my shopping and go to the tills. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same woman. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone so I don't have to look at her. Finally she says "I want to apologise for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad, after that and gave her my condolences. She said "Thank you...sorry, But I have a favour to ask. I know it's weird and I would understand completely if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mummy' to me?" Inside I'm thinking WTF?!?! But trying to be understanding, I went ahead and did it. She smiled, thanked me, and left.

Proper awkward! The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to £100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been about £40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my Mum's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your Mum said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my Mum. She said, "Well I saw you hug her and heard you call her Mummy!" ######!!...I flew out of the shop looking for this witch, ready to get her, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and as I started pulling her leg hard, it came off in my hands, so I grabbed her other leg and started pulling, just like I'm pulling yours right now!! Haha!

Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Asda to get some early Christmas stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm thinking, What's her problem?! I finish my shopping and go to the tills. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same woman. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone so I don't have to look at her. Finally she says "I want to apologise for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad, after that and gave her my condolences. She said "Thank you...sorry, But I have a favour to ask. I know it's weird and I would understand completely if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mummy' to me?" Inside I'm thinking WTF?!?! But trying to be understanding, I went ahead and did it. She smiled, thanked me, and left.

Proper awkward! The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to £100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been about £40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my Mum's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your Mum said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my Mum. She said, "Well I saw you hug her and heard you call her Mummy!" ######!!...I flew out of the shop looking for this witch, ready to get her, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and as I started pulling her leg hard, it came off in my hands, so I grabbed her other leg and started pulling, just like I'm pulling yours right now!! Haha!

 

I prefer the Tom Waits original personally.

 

Mike.

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