DDolfelin Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 An elderly relative bought a lottery ticket. After the Draw he checked his ticket - 6 numbers correct! He rang Lottery HQ, very excited. Unfortunately he'd been checking his ticket against the entry form. However, ever cheerful, he told everyone he knew what it felt like to win, bless him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman Sam Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Seems to be drying it will let you know in a few days. Phone is working fine now but did chuck some silica gel packets in to aid drying as well. I gave it a good week to dry due to the screen looking more like a goldfish bowl, but all ok with phone now, including all txts and photos so I'm a happy bunny. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anglian Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 A few days after my 40th birthday I parked my car in a large and unfamiliar car park that actually was badly sign-posted (in my defence). I couldn't find my car on my return so I wandered around for about 20 minutes until I found an attendant who was able to find my car in a minute or so from the data on the ticket. As I thanked him I told him I'd just turned 40 as was expecting lots of similar more 'senior' moments from now on… Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubber Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 This also counts as a confession............. In the days when the latest gadget was a key ring that 'beeped' when you clapped your hands to find your lost keys, I went to a concert at The Anvil auditorium in Basingstoke featuring the renowned clarinettist, Emma Johnson. I settled down in my front row middle seat . She appeared on stage, to considerable expectant applause. As she bowed to the leader of the ensemble and started to raise her instrument I was furious to hear one of those new mobile phones going 'Beep beep beep beep..' and joined in the 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' looks all around me...after all, I didn't own a mobile phone, it could not have been me. The performers waited, and as the device timed out I suddenly realised what had happened........Trying nonchalantly to delve deeply into one's pocket to find a microscopic on/off switch 10 metres from an international soloist is as nothing compared to the sweat I got into hoping I had indeed turned it off, and not to the 'Loud' setting. To this day I am unable to listen to the opening bars of Mozart's Clarinet Quintet without shuddering........... Doug Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurenceb Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 This also counts as a confession............. In the days when the latest gadget was a key ring that 'beeped' when you clapped your hands to find your lost keys, I went to a concert at The Anvil auditorium in Basingstoke featuring the renowned clarinettist, Emma Johnson. I settled down in my front row middle seat . She appeared on stage, to considerable expectant applause. As she bowed to the leader of the ensemble and started to raise her instrument I was furious to hear one of those new mobile phones going 'Beep beep beep beep..' and joined in the 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' looks all around me...after all, I didn't own a mobile phone, it could not have been me. The performers waited, and as the device timed out I suddenly realised what had happened........Trying nonchalantly to delve deeply into one's pocket to find a microscopic on/off switch 10 metres from an international soloist is as nothing compared to the sweat I got into hoping I had indeed turned it off, and not to the 'Loud' setting. To this day I am unable to listen to the opening bars of Mozart's Clarinet Quintet without shuddering........... Doug Oops! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 At a local folk club, waiting my turn to sing, I noticed a gilt clip-on ear-ring on the floor. Nobody claimed it, so in a fit of bravado, I clipped it to my ear and got up to sing “Shores of the Forth”. This seemed to go down better that usual, and I thought that perhaps the ear-ring had given an appropriate maritime flavour to the performance. My self-satisfaction was punctured when a friend said that the enthusiastic applause was more likely to be due to my open fly ... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giles Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Not me, but my late Mother, who died a couple of years ago. My Father was a Vicar in south Wales, and they were as poor as the proverbial Church mice - to the extent that when they retired they considered themsleves 'rich' on their megre pension, as they were able to get by from week to week without getting into debt, by good and careful stewardship.... shortly after my father died, Mum and I were talking about the lottery for some reason, and what we would do with it if we won.... and Mum happened to mention that years ago (when the lottery was simple) she had nearly won once - she had got five numbers, but not the sixth - so she had thrown the ticket away - but she was still hoping, and played just occasionally...... (these were the days when five numbers could be over £100,000!) I managed to keep a straight face, and didn't cry - and I never did tell her....... (I cried for her indide, though....) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southernman46 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Just noticed I've managed to build a Parkside Tube wagon with one side upside down Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Just noticed I've managed to build a Parkside Tube wagon with one side upside down Put the other side on upside down too and nobody will notice.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 ... or always make sure that wagon is facing away from the viewing side. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkC Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Best not to ring you whilst you are doing the ironing then. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/12/14/man_mistakes_iron_for_mobile_phone/ Oops Mark Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 http://www.theregist...r_mobile_phone/ Oops Mark Wonder if he burnt the other ear calling for an ambulance? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Mike Bellamy Posted December 15, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 15, 2012 Last August got a phone call at 9.00m from my son asking if it was a Bank Holiday - he had just returned from a two week holiday and there was no one at the place he worked at - all locked up and no sign of life so he thought he had gone in on the August Bank Holiday by mistake - but no - the BH was the following week. He made a few more calls and then got back and let me know that the works was closed for the day as it was the owner's birthday and they always have that as an extra day off - last year he missed it due to his own holiday and this time as he had been away he hadn't realised that the birthday fell on the first Monday he got back. At least he had only gone about 4 miles to get there - until he moved he was travelling about 50 miles each way ! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
station cat Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Went out to the pub wearing a pair of trousers with a large hip pocket in which I placed my wallet, phone etc. Went up to bar to get a (first) drink. No wallet in pocket. Panic Stations. Dig through pocket - still no wallet. Decide to take everything else out of pocket and hold it in other hand to ease searching. Discover wallet already in other hand. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Went out to the pub wearing a pair of trousers with a large hip pocket in which I placed my wallet, phone etc. Went up to bar to get a (first) drink. No wallet in pocket. Panic Stations. Dig through pocket - still no wallet. Decide to take everything else out of pocket and hold it in other hand to ease searching. Discover wallet already in other hand. Been there done that sort of thing many times. Driving along in the car, panic as I realise the car keys aren't in my pocket (of course not, they're in the ignition). Similar concerns when bus approaches to find that, as I reach into my back pocket with my right hand my bus pass isn't there... of course not, I'm holding it in my left hand with my arm out hailing the bus. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Speaking of phones reminds me of a colleague I once heard speaking to someone on the phone. Sixty seconds into the call, she stops and says "I can't hear a word you're saying. I'll have to go and get my glasses." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohmisterporter Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I know how she felt. I can't see a thing out of my left ear. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
darren01 Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Hi I went into my local model railway shop to get a bag of ballast for my Dad’s layout, paid for it and the owner of the shop put it into a white plastic bag. Stayed in the shop for a bit chatting to the owner and then picked up the white plastic bag and left , on getting home from the shop gave the white plastic bag to my Dad , five minutes later my Dad came back and said where’s the bag of ballast ? . Looked into the bag and inside were two ham sandwiches? I had only gone and picked up the owners pack lunch! It could only happen too me!. Darren Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Downendian Posted December 16, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 16, 2012 Maybe it's been here before This is rather amusing if you have a spare 4 minutes. Sounds genuine! Neil Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinWalsh Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 I'll let you know in a couple of days time, mine has been sat in a pot for a week after it did a swan-dive (all on it's own) into my coffee mug Well it appears that the CSI (TV programme) idea about putting a soggy phone in a sealed tub of rice does in fact work, I've reassembled the phone that went swimming in my coffee and touch wood so far it's alive and working. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RANGERS Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Not me, my brother this one. Last year he returned from Christmas shopping with his wife and after a hard slog round the shops, they decided cooking was too much of a stretch and fish and chips were in order. They stopped at the chip shop and said brother realised he'd no cash left on him. No problem, there was a Co-op store next door with a cash machine so he queues up for the cash machine, cursing the folks ahead of him who were struggling to get to grips with it and generally holding things up. Finally, he arrives at the front and gets some cash out. The shop was pretty busy, and he was equally critical of the poor staff on the checkout as he stood in the queue, ahead of him were a motley collection of customers in various states of inebriation (it was the last Friday before Christmas) and service was extremely slow as they struggled with handling cash in their less than alert frame of mind. Eventually he arrives at the front of the queue and gives the young lad on the checkout some gratuitous ribbing for the slow service and the length of time he'd been stood there. When he'd finished, the young lad looked at him expectantly and said, "What can I help you with", poor old brother looked at him in horror and replied, "Nothing, I shouldn't be here, I should be in the chip shop..." At this point, he made a mad dash for the door before his embarrassment became too obvious. Not sure what was worst, the event itself or being daft enough to tell his kids about it afterwards! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pacific231G Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 I went to Merchant Navy college in Plymouth in the late 1960s and on weekend leaves often came back on the Sun/Mon overnight from Paddington via Bristol which was mostly newspapers and parcels with two or three passenger carriages. I usually didn't get much sleep after Bristol as that was where the RN personnel, some of them noisily inebriated, got on. One night though it was a bit quieter so I was able to sleep- a little too well- as when I woke up we were trundling through deepest Kernow. I got off at Bodmin Road the next stop at I suppose around 06.00. After about forty five minutes on a cold damp platform the first DMU for Plymouth arrived and from there to the Saltash bridge every station had its little knot of sailors who'd also overslept. In those days of course the guard wasn't so unsporting as to demand payment for the extra journey and I assume this happened every monday morning. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubber Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 I went to Merchant Navy college in Plymouth in the late 1960s and on weekend leaves often came back on the Sun/Mon overnight from Paddington via Bristol which was mostly newspapers and parcels with two or three passenger carriages. I usually didn't get much sleep after Bristol as that was where the RN personnel, some of them noisily inebriated, got on. One night though it was a bit quieter so I was able to sleep- a little too well- as when I woke up we were trundling through deepest Kernow. I got off at Bodmin Road the next stop at I suppose around 06.00. After about forty five minutes on a cold damp platform the first DMU for Plymouth arrived and from there to the Saltash bridge every station had its little knot of sailors who'd also overslept. In those days of course the guard wasn't so unsporting as to demand payment for the extra journey and I assume this happened every monday morning. ...been there, done that! The guard probably knew that as they were adrift the 3 days of No.9 punishment [stoppage of leave, extra work in the dogs, muster at pipe-down] would be more painful than an extra 1s.- 3d fare. Thanks for a memory-pill, Doug Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Wonder if he burnt the other ear calling for an ambulance? Anyone remember Father Larry Duff in "Father Ted"? I think he once picked up a stapler instead of his phone... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Graham_Muz Posted December 22, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 22, 2012 Anyone remember Father Larry Duff in "Father Ted"? I think he once picked up a stapler instead of his phone... Hardly a moment of madness as per the context of this thread as it would have been in the script! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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