steve1 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 At work some years ago, I had a coffee on my desk and the phone rang. I picked up my coffee mug and said "Hello"... steve Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Someone I know was in a crowded pub one evening and needed to use the loo, so they took their half finished pint into the gents with them so it didn't get cleaned up or stolen. He put the pint down in the sink and then turned to do what you do with urinals, only to discover when they finished that the tap was actually a sensor tap, detected the pint underneath it as someone's hands, and the tap had been merrily filling (and overflowing) his pint glass with warm water for the duration. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I HAVE done that - all be it with brick/tile paper!!! So have I - and got as far as sticking it on the building before I noticed! To make matters worse, it was my last sheet.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Working with two computers at once, comparing results on different systems, I copied some text on one computer, and pasted into the other, wondering why that didn't work. Somehow, my brain must have thought that "copy" moves the text into your clicking finger, and "paste" out again? Done that one too.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I've already told my "turning up to the Festival of MR at Ally Pally a whole month early story" in another thread The guy who does the bookings for my local church hall was similarly surprised when someone turned up on the wrong week for my exhibition once! Wasn't you, was it? :-P Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Being asked the time with half a cup of tea in my left hand, I then turned my wrist over to see my watch, and poured the tea into my lap. Easy mistake to make I suppose, but I've done it twice............................................ So far.......................... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold LH&JC Posted December 3, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2012 Brasso is drinkable, ideally filtered through bread, although that only tends to be attempted when there's nothing else available! I've evidently been wasting my money in pubs then! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norm81 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I have been known to make cereal for breakfast then put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal box in the fridge while half asleep... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 My mother once drove my sister and I to school, dropped us off and drove away. After half an hour of wandering round wondering where everyone was, I finally found a teacher who explained that it was an INSET day! Best "moment of daftness" story I've heard recently though involved a group of friends who were showing a layout at an exhibition in Germany. At the close of the show, they went to a restaurant for a meal. After the meal, one of them decided to nip to the loo, which in this establishment was in the basement. So he descended the stairs to be confronted by three doors. One had "Damen" written on it, one had "Herren" written on it, and one had nothing written on it at all. As he knew no German, in a moment of "impeccable logic" he decided to try the door with no writing on it in order to avoid any embarrassment. Not until he had gone inside and the door closed behind him did he realise he was in the broom cupboard, and the door had no handle on the inside! However, there was another door on the other side of the cupboard that he was able to open, which led into a long corridor with doors off each side, all of which were locked. Eventually he came to a staircase, which brought him out, not in the restaurant, but in a supermarket - which was shut! The good news was that there were two cleaners in the building; the bad news was they only spoke Polish, which he couldn't speak either.... but with some miming, he managed to explain what had happened and they unlocked the door and directed him to a restaurant - the wrong one! Fortunately the manager of that establishment did speak English and was able to point him in the right direction. By now his colleagues were wondering where he'd got to so two of them went to the basement to look for him, and came back scratching their heads as there was no sign of him and nobody had seen him come up the stairs. His remaining colleagues were even more puzzled to see him re-enter the restaurant via the external door! When the two who'd gone looking for him had been retrieved, the story of his disappearance had been explained and everyone had stopped laughing, one of the group said "Right. Now everyone's here, can we head back to the hotel now?" "No," came back the reply. "I haven't been yet...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugsley Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I thought this thread was going to be about cobbles Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Being asked the time with half a cup of tea in my left hand, I then turned my wrist over to see my watch, and poured the tea into my lap. Easy mistake to make I suppose, but I've done it twice............................................ So far.......................... You mean like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuAq_ql-TeY&feature=related (4:08-4:27) Talk of repeated errors reminds me of the occasion I rang a girl up to ask her out and forgot her house mate had the same first name, so ended up asking the wrong one! As it turned out, the one I was thinking of asking was away, so I tried again a few weeks later.... and got the wrong one again! I've also just remembered the time I put my camera batteries in the charger overnight prior to a trip to a past Warley show. Got up in the morning, took the batteries out of the charger and put them in the camera then headed off to the station to catch the 07:10 to Birmingham. Three hours later, wanting to take a picture, I fished around in my bag for the camera and discovered I'd brought the charger with me and left the camera at home! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwestdivide Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 As the topic title mentions daftness, did anyone else when they were a kid think the phrase "daft ha'porth" (pronounced with a silent H) had something to do with monkeys or apes? My other half and me both thought the same - she'd made a connection with "monkeying about". And another misinterpreted phrase - my sister reduced us all to tears of laughter when she came home and asked "what's an apply within?" (stress on the "app" and "with") - someone had one for sale further up the road, she said. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted December 3, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2012 Mixed up licking philly cheese of my thumb when eating a sarnie and using pva glue - it wasn't philly cheese... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
34theletterbetweenB&D Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Me too, thought it was a reference to apes / monkey business. The other cockney usage that had me very well confused was the chaps going for a 'pint of pigs'. Since some of them were 'brahms and liszt' afterwards, my conclusion about the pigs' liquid being referred to may be imagined. And then of course there was the dangerous pastime of rush and roll it. I first heard this phrase in conection with a child killed in a version of chicken which involved crossing the road in the path of moving vehicles while bowling a hula hoop. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted December 3, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2012 Well it must be said that the Pongos and RAF 'people' always were somewhat odd, lots of play acting at roles, requirements and etiquette from chaps who otherwise couldn't hack it in the senior service. As the saying goes, "it took an act of Parliament to make them Officers, but it'll take an act of God to make them gentlemen!". The Royal Navy, as befits the senior service, has many fine customs. The Army has a lot in the way of pomp and traditions. The RAF have to make do with a couple of bad habits. Back on topic.......................... I once had a rear wheel fall off my car. Stopped, recovered the wheel and jacked up the car to replace it. But with the handbrake not applied, and the car in neutral whilst sitting on a down slope, you can guess what happened when I jacked the vehicle up! Regards Richard Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lankyphil Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Walking back to my wagon at a service station, put hand in pocket to retrieve keys. Found a set of keys, started pressing the unlock button. Wondered why the indicators hadn't flashed, then realised that a Vauxhall Astra key won't unlock a Scania... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 While on an exercise in the very far north of the country, with the Navy doing live shelling, as the RAF range controller in charge, I was asked by a Naval Gentleman why neither I, nor any of my men, were wearing our rank badges. I had to explain gently, that all my men knew who was in charge, and that the RAF didn't believe in marking the obvious targets for enemy snipers to take out. He went away quite happy! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 4, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 4, 2012 Using scalpel to model Drop said scalpel Instinctively close legs to trap scalpel as it falls to floor = daftness squared. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Fobe2 Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Leaving Model Junctionin Slough (US model railroad shop) and drove down the wrong side of the road ! XF Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mod5 Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 At work some years ago, I had a coffee on my desk and the phone rang. I picked up my coffee mug and said "Hello"... steve Best not to ring you whilst you are doing the ironing then. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohmisterporter Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Once washing the windows I had half a bucket of water on the top step of the stepladder when I decided it was too far away from the window. I closed the ladder in order to move it. The bucket tipped over, fortunately I saw it coming and put both hands into the water to hold it in the upside down bucket. Just as I realised what I had done I received a clout on the side of the head as the ladder fell over. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Once turned up at work at 04:30, then remembered I'd booked the day off. Few weeks back I had a job with a 06:51 book on, so I set the alarm for 5:10. PM. Woke up at 06:25. It took a couple of minutes until it dawned that something was wrong. Then a mad rush to get ready and drive 15 miles into Bristol. Managed to book on while at traffic lights and got to my train with 2 minutes to spare. Good job I had a trainee with me who collected my revenue equipment. Using scalpel to model Drop said scalpel Instinctively close legs to trap scalpel as it falls to floor = daftness squared. Did that just after fitting a new blade. Not much pain, but lots of blood. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I'd like to have seen that, Geoff. Worth a few bob on YBF! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Leaving Model Junctionin Slough (US model railroad shop) and drove down the wrong side of the road ! XF Did that at a roundabout after getting off the ferry from France. Luckily no other cars on it at the time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBR Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Hello, This is a great thread!! I thought I was one of the few now I realise I am one of an elite group that is much larger than I had thought. Orange juice in coffee is my usual trick which is not too bad, but then to go and start to drink it that is really bad I take it that gets me into the club? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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