RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted January 13, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 13, 2014 A Traffic Wardens funeral as the coffin was being lowered into the ground a banging and yelling came from it "I'm not dead I just passed out.". The vicar leaned over and said "Sorry but the paperworks already been filled in." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 my mate was asking why i had my crazy ex wife in my phone as West Ham ? i replied well they both kick off every fifteen minuets ! Sorry, you've lost me - what's West Ham got to do with your ex wife dancing minuets? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 14, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 14, 2014 Sorry, you've lost me - what's West Ham got to do with your ex wife dancing minuets? She doesn't dress up as well does she? Mike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonB Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) Sorry, Removed defective link, and can't load a .PNG file here Edited January 14, 2014 by DonB 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 14, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 14, 2014 "You are no longer logged in to AOL. Please log in again" I'm not a member so can't log in. I have no intention of joining up. Hence, the previous post is indecipherable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 14, 2014 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 14, 2014 DonB can you let us see the original. Like Budgie and a lot of others I can't access an aol e mail account Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 14, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 14, 2014 Thanks. Its funny now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velopeur Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) A policemen sees a car doing 40mph in a 30mph area. The car is also bouncing and rocking from side to side. He pulls the car over and see a man in chauffeur's uniform in the drivers seat, with a lady and gentleman in the back, hurriedly rearranging their clothing. The police explained the bit about speeding then just had to ask why the car was bouncing around so much. The chauffeur replied - I am afraid to admit that that Sir and Madam were having it off on the back seat, officer. The police officer thought for a moment and replied - If she gets pregnant I suppose that gives a whole new meaning to the saying "life begins at 40", doesn't it! Edited January 14, 2014 by Velopeur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 14, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 14, 2014 Sorry, Removed defective link, and can't load a .PNG file here Capture.JPG Indecipherable/Unsure of meaning x 1 Are you serious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 14, 2014 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 14, 2014 Perhaps Budgie will now change his rating. See post Nos 1684, 1685 and 1686. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Perhaps Budgie will now change his rating. See post Nos 1684, 1685 and 1686. Colin, I notice that Budgie signs himself "Jane". Confused? You will be ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted January 15, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 15, 2014 Colin, I notice that Budgie signs himself "Jane". Confused? You will be ... Are you making arbitrary assumptions about something based on a member's name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Are you making arbitrary assumptions about something based on a member's name? In the absence of any further information on the matter which I pointed out to Colin, and notwithstanding your implication that it was I and not the aforenamed member who made an unwarranted inference as to ... Er... What was the question again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Some thing about naming someones member I think . . . . . . . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted January 15, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 15, 2014 Perhaps Budgie will now change his rating. See post Nos 1684, 1685 and 1686. Colin, I notice that Budgie signs himself "Jane". Confused? You will be ... Are you making arbitrary assumptions about something based on a member's name? Budgies always were the devil to sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 No answer to that really . . . . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 (edited) True story. At Police Headquarters somewhere in the UK. Old Detective gets in the lift on the 12th floor. Lift doors open at the 10th floor and an attractive woman in her late 30's gets in the lift in Mufti. She says, "Going down" Old school Detective replies, "Not without a kiss and a cuddle first darling". (Turns out she was a high ranking officer). Dooooooooooooh! Edited January 16, 2014 by andytrains 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted January 16, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 16, 2014 Weather ConditionsJust got off the phone with a friend who lives in Regina Saskatchewan. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, She may have to let the drunken b*stard in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 By the way there's an old saying. "If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hughes Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Weather Conditions Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Regina Saskatchewan. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, She may have to let the drunken b*stard in. Ah, I spent many happy years in the Queen City! It's a nice old story, but the webcam opposite the Legislative Buildings in Wascana Park shows there's not that much snow around at the moment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M Graff Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 The swedish rail system have collapsed, but at least we can get a laugh from it... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium skipepsi Posted January 17, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 17, 2014 Skämtteckning471.jpg The swedish rail system have collapsed, but at least we can get a laugh from it... Where are all the fat cats? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 17, 2014 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 17, 2014 Retired! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 When I recently went into Sainsburys I was impressed by their refers shingle honest description of Jamie Oliver's Sausages...on the side it said "Prick With A Fork". It's a shame other supermarkets can't be as frank about their own celebrity chef names 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buhar Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) deleted as point of joke spiked by the forum`s formatting sotware. I`ll try to find another way. Sorry. Edited January 19, 2014 by Tren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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