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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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On 26/03/2020 at 20:14, PhilJ W said:

Her accent is soooooo annoying - I had to press the mute button.

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This is true!

 

I do all the cooking in the house,(because I love to cook).
Mrs NorthBrit  doesn't have much strength in her arms, so cannot handle a kettle. Therefore I make the tea/coffee etc.

 

Whilst she was in Los Lounges she asked me to get her a 'can of pop'.

 

Because she is in Los Lounges she must think it is 'all inclusive.
 

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4 minutes ago, DavidB-AU said:

I don't think self isolation is having any effect on me. But I do find it odd that one bag of rice has 8956 grains and the other has 8743,

Hey, I was robbed! My 2 packets had 8765 & 8675.

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41 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

image.png.a8a8b8dc4bdb981e2789eec506273d47.png

PhilJ W will soon be self-isolating...

 

...in the Tower of London.

 

I'll join him - when I heard that Prince Charles has Covid-19 my first thought was "well that's one way to prevent Horse Face from ever being Queen".... :rolleyes: :jester:

 

Budge up, Phil, this cell's a bit cramped.....

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9 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said:

PhilJ W will soon be self-isolating...

 

...in the Tower of London.

 

I'll join him - when I heard that Prince Charles has Covid-19 my first thought was "well that's one way to prevent Horse Face from ever being Queen".... :rolleyes: :jester:

 

Budge up, Phil, this cell's a bit cramped.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:prankster:

Edited by Steamport Southport
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13 hours ago, DavidB-AU said:

I don't think self isolation is having any effect on me. But I do find it odd that one bag of rice has 8956 grains and the other has 8743,

Did you weigh the grains? Rice is sold by weight. :biggrin_mini:

Edited by J. S. Bach
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17 minutes ago, AndrewC said:

Only in the US. In the rest of the world it is sold by mass,

 

Is that so? Next time I'm in the US I'll ask for a 9.81 N bag of rice.

 

Weighing the rice is, however, a reasonable procedure to establish its mass.

Edited by Compound2632
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45 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Is that so? Next time I'm in the US I'll ask for a 9.81 N bag of rice.

 

Weighing the rice is, however, a reasonable procedure to establish its mass.

 

Not when the grains are different sizes as we have just been informed!

 

Mike.

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9 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

That's a bit like one of the "Follow The Instructions" tests.

 

There are loads of them, this one is for kids but there are adult ones as well. They sometimes even use them at interviews to see who is paying attention.

 

Screen+Shot+2012-10-26+at+9.15.22+AM.png

 

I used to do this with kids before school exams, in order to illustrate how much they should concentrate on reading each part of a question carefully and understanding each item they read, before moving on.  The kids enjoyed it because it made them laugh, but the point had been made and their answers were likewise better.

 

Julian

 

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