F-UnitMad Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. 2- Did you see what that woman was wearing? Answer "Yes" - you will be in trouble for looking. Answer "No" - you will be in trouble for having no standards. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 5 hours ago, iands said: Just like when you get two ties for Christmas, a blue one and a red one. You get smartened up for Christmas dinner and come down wearing the blue tie, to be immediately met the question - and what's wrong with the red tie? You should have said that Jeremy Corbyn is borrowing it. He did seem like he was being forced to wear one. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SM42 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. 2- Did you see what that woman was wearing? Answer "Yes" - you will be in trouble for looking. Answer "No" - you will be in trouble for having no standards. Mrs SM42 just gets "your bum looks big all the time". She doesn't ask anymore as she has learnt one of the man rules: If you think you are fat you probably are, don't ask me. Mind you I'm a glutton for punishment As to question 2 the answer is simple Which one? You can then make a point of looking at the woman in question as she is now obliged to point her out or if you are lucky, she'll just descibe what she saw. Andy 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. 2- Did you see what that woman was wearing? Answer "Yes" - you will be in trouble for looking. Answer "No" - you will be in trouble for having no standards. The only survivable answer is "Which woman?" Even if there is only one woman present, other than your wife, you can look bemused and claim you hadn't noticed her. Brownie points x 2. Julian 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. Hi F-UtdMad, The answer to that particular question is, "I can't actually see, something large and round appears to have eclipsed the sun light !" Gibbo. Edited May 21, 2020 by Gibbo675 Spelling 1 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted May 21, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted May 21, 2020 6 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi F-UtdMad, The answer to that particular question is, "I can't actually see, something large and round appears to have eclipsed the sun light !" Gibbo. Not if the sun is shining out of it 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted May 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 21, 2020 15 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi F-UtdMad, The answer to that particular question is, "I can't actually see, something large and round appears to have eclipsed the sun light !" Gibbo. That is living very dangerously. In fact I am surprised you are still living if you have ever answered the question that way! 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 6 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: Not if the sun is shining out of it Hi Colin, To be able to see the sun shining out of it then nothing would be worn and that would technically be a moon, which tends to be what occludes the sun during an eclipse. I may well be over thinking this. Gibbo. 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, Chris116 said: That is living very dangerously. In fact I am surprised you are still living if you have ever answered the question that way! Hi Chris, Plenty of times, but then its a rhetorical question to which she knows the answer: Gibbo. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted May 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 21, 2020 3 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Chris, Plenty of times, but then its a rhetorical question to which she knows the answer: Gibbo. I shall be in sorts of trouble if I am caught looking at that photo! 1 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 12 minutes ago, Chris116 said: I shall be in sorts of trouble if I am caught looking at that photo! Hi Chris, Just tell your dear lady that you have a deep connection to a fellow modeller ! Gibbo. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted May 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Chris, Just tell your dear lady that you have a deep connection to a fellow modeller ! Gibbo. I fear I would have a deep connection with her right fist. It would be coming out the back of my head! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted May 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 21, 2020 8 hours ago, kevinlms said: 'Would you like fish or chicken for dinner?' Sounds very much like you have been given your preferred option for dinner. DANGER. If you say 'I'd like chicken tonight', then it's an open invitation for her to say, 'Well, I'd prefer to have fish'. My answer would be "Lamb chops" 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi F-UtdMad, The answer to that particular question is, "I can't actually see, something large and round appears to have eclipsed the sun light !" Gibbo. And how was your stay in hospital, after you said that...?? 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 54 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said: Which bit is funnier of that? Welding the legs (presumably) on the wrong way, or 'How to give yourself Arc Eye in one easy Lesson'..??. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Not PC, but it made me titter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: And how was your stay in hospital, after you said that...?? Hi There, My first reply to Chris116 explains the results of my "witticisms". Gibbo. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted May 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 22, 2020 5 hours ago, Chris116 said: That is living very dangerously. In fact I am surprised you are still living if you have ever answered the question that way! Yes, but what is stated on RMweb as an answer, compared to the actual answer, have nothing in common! 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 22, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 22, 2020 7 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. 2- Did you see what that woman was wearing? Answer "Yes" - you will be in trouble for looking. Answer "No" - you will be in trouble for having no standards. The correct answer to number 2 is 'yes, I'm really glad that you'd never embarrass me by wearing anything like that (very important to put the derogatory stress on 'that)! There is no answer to no.1 that will not result in immediate and complete wipe out of all or any brownie points. Employ emergency diversion tactics. 'wow, can you imagine how big (insert name of woman you know she doesn't like here)'s bum would look in it'? She will be diverted by the idea that you think this, and not only flattered but her opinion of the woman will be validated. Leave the room before she can respond and start the washing up. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted May 22, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 22, 2020 20 hours ago, iands said: Just like when you get two ties for Christmas, a blue one and a red one. You get smartened up for Christmas dinner and come down wearing the blue tie, to be immediately met the question - and what's wrong with the red tie? Boys, boys! You've got it all wrong! The correct answer is:- " I examined both ties closely, and the red tie is so nice, I've decided to keep it back for special occasions". This is my experience of many years standing, and more years lying down.... Whatever you do, don't mention that your new red tie matches her eyes, or it'll be a black tie event.... 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 8 hours ago, The Johnster said: Employ emergency diversion tactics. 'wow, can you imagine how big (insert name of woman you know she doesn't like here)'s bum would look in it'? She will be diverted by the idea that you think this, She'll be diverted by the idea that you're fantasizing about other women!! Fat women, at that!! Nil points, I'm afraid!! 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 54 minutes ago, tomparryharry said: Whatever you do, don't mention that your new red tie matches her eyes, or it'll be a black tie event.... Or even a black eye event... 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 17 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Two questions SWMBO will ask that are impossible to answer correctly:- 1- Does my bum look big in this? Answer "No dear" - she just won't believe you anyway. Answer "Yes" at your own peril. I thought the correct answer was something like "Forget about your bum, what the hell is up with your legs?" Whilst it is possible that the following conversation could also be fraught, it will at least take her mind off her bum... 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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