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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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19 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

I'm sure I'm getting a sense of  déjà vu again.

 

 

I'm sure I'm getting a sense of  déjà vu again.

 

 

 

 

Jason

 

The Force is strong in this one......

:crazy:

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5 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

What is disturbing about gin is how quickly they changed from making gin to making hand sanitiser....

 

 

Enjoy your hand sanitiser gin. :prankster:

 

That would explain why gin tastes of hand sanitiser!

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6 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

What is disturbing about gin is how quickly they changed from making gin to making hand sanitiser....

 

 

Enjoy your hand sanitiser gin. :prankster:

The thing about making hand sanitiser that makes it easy, is that no one needs to worry about the taste! Which is a key part of any alcoholic drink.

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4 hours ago, jcm@gwr said:

 

That would explain why gin tastes of hand sanitiser!

 

My mother would always insist that gin smelled of cats.

 

I don't think I need go any further...  :jester:

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2 hours ago, kevinlms said:

The thing about making hand sanitiser that makes it easy, is that no one needs to worry about the taste! Which is a key part of any alcoholic drink.

 

Apart from lager which nicely sidesteps any issues relating to taste!

 

Mike.

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49 minutes ago, peanuts said:

sorry to be a pedant but didnt it come out last year that pooh was in fact female ?

 

Poohlitical corectness !!!!

 

Brit 15

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I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, And all those to the rear
And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, And keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, And my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the sod off.


Pam Ayres

Edited by Gopher
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I know it's not Gin, but the post brought this back to me.

 

A mate and I had been out in the cold and his Mum thought a brew was called for, which she then kindly made.

 

Upon tasting the contents of his mug, he screwed his face up and said, "Ughh!  Felix Gymnasticus!"

 

{It's under the signature, if you need it and you have to be of "an age" if your's was an education.}

Julian

Cat's PT

 

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