RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 10, 2020 O yes. They react by instinct and the fact that you would have had the affair if you’d had the opportunity, because all men are... 1 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocor Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Work it work if you have been married for 25 years and the woman looks about 30?.... Then you add hasn't she kept her age well, she must be at least 45. The handbag then will contain a house brick. 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 10, 2020 A good general purpose response is ‘good grief, what does she thinks she looks like wearing that!!!’. 1 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 10, 2020 On 09/09/2020 at 17:58, jbqfc said: Just got back from hospital. They reckon i might have Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. But at the moment it's hard to say! Sounds like you've been working down the mines. If you cut the middle out of that you end up with pneumoconiosis, which is what my grandfather had. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jbqfc Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 10, 2020 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
great central Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 42 minutes ago, The Johnster said: A good general purpose response is ‘good grief, what does she thinks she looks like wearing that!!!’. I've tried that one as well, regarding the rather odd, to my mind, fashion of jeans with the knees removed. Instead of starting a conversation, it resulted in me being accused of using it as an excuse to look at the woman wearing them 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, great central said: I've tried that one as well, regarding the rather odd, to my mind, fashion of jeans with the knees removed. Instead of starting a conversation, it resulted in me being accused of using it as an excuse to look at the woman wearing them I didn't say it worked! 3 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) Quite a few years ago I worked with a chap from Bedford (Alan), one Saturday another work colleague and I met at Alans to go on to a job. While we waited for him to get ready he was putting his jacket on and looking out the window at one of the neighbours. Alan started to say in a loud voice "pwoar look at her....blimey she's got a lot up top, I'm surprised she can squeeze into that top".... Mick and I weren't sure where to look as his wife was in the room..eventually Mick said "is he alway like this" to which his wife replied "He can look at the menu when he's out, but he always eats at home" Edited September 10, 2020 by chris p bacon 7 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 Meanwhile in France.... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-54099251 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 10, 2020 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 see how many get this 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 38 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: I prefer Mr Noseybonk. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 I hope I offend someone. Some really numpties in this world that need to get a life.... There will be more when I find them 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 See. Pirates are funny! 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 Too soon? 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 11, 2020 3 hours ago, PhilJ W said: I really do not know what to say! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 11, 2020 9 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Meanwhile in France.... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-54099251 When I eventually worked my way up to her face I noticed she wasn't wearing a mask, strange sartorial choices she makes? Mike. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 6 hours ago, J. S. Bach said: I really do not know what to say! He said... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 12 hours ago, great central said: I've tried that one as well, regarding the rather odd, to my mind, fashion of jeans with the knees removed. Instead of starting a conversation, it resulted in me being accused of using it as an excuse to look at the woman wearing them That's why it did not work, it is supposed to be used as a defensive response, not drawing attention to the woman! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
great central Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 22 minutes ago, Titan said: That's why it did not work, it is supposed to be used as a defensive response, not drawing attention to the woman! Yes but if I try it that way, she's already noted that I've seen the woman first. I started off with the fact that now the 'fashion' had spread to men as well! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 11, 2020 Since we've had a spate of husband vs. wife jokes/stories. There is this one. A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He could not control his curiosity and asked, "Do you always carry your TV remote with you?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote." *Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies.....* The story continues.... The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing. He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card.........." *MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.* Story continues.... Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card. *Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..* Story continues... After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'....... *Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!* Story continues.... She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse. It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS. She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping. She bought her items and returned home happily. *Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman!* Story continues.... On getting home, his car was gone. A note was pasted on the door "Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something". Damn... He left with the house key too. *Moral: Don't try to control your husband.* 4 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 11, 2020 13 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Andi 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 11, 2020 We now have a GROAN button!!!!! 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 11, 2020 On 10/09/2020 at 21:31, Steamport Southport said: Meanwhile in France.... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-54099251 It's not a proper apology unless it involves large-valued notes in the local currency coming in the apologee's direction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 11, 2020 4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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