RMweb Gold 97406 Posted January 11, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2022 2 1 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 97406 Posted January 12, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 12, 2022 My budgie broke his leg so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matchsticks. You should have seen his little face light up when he started walking. 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Phil Bullock Posted January 12, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) Wenttothemoonlastweek.Couldnotgetadrinkanywhere.Nobeernocidernolagerwhiskyginorwine.Why? Nospacebar. Edited January 12, 2022 by Phil Bullock 1 5 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 On 09/01/2022 at 19:50, J. S. Bach said: GROAN!! And that is for a whole bunch of the above!! What does it matter so long as we're all happy... 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 7 hours ago, Phil Bullock said: Wenttothemoonlastweek.Couldnotgetadrinkanywhere.Nobeernocidernolagerwhiskyginorwine.Why? Nospacebar. Even if id did have a spacebar it would have no atmosphere...... 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted January 12, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 12, 2022 Are we going to have any "inspired by" jokes like we look likely to have with some models? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 8 hours ago, Phil Bullock said: Wenttothemoonlastweek.Couldnotgetadrinkanywhere.Nobeernocidernolagerwhiskyginorwine.Why? Nospacebar. Because Drakeford said it's part of Wales..... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leopardml2341 Posted January 12, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 12, 2022 Nelson was 5' 4" tall. His statue in London is 16' tall. That's Horatio of 3:1 1 3 4 13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 12, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) I'll just blow my horn! Edited January 12, 2022 by J. S. Bach 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 12, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 12, 2022 16 hours ago, Phil Bullock said: Wenttothemoonlastweek.Couldnotgetadrinkanywhere.Nobeernocidernolagerwhiskyginorwine.Why? Nospacebar. At least you got carriage return. Has to be better than a one-way ticket. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 13 hours ago, Coombe Vale said: I bought two related items in one order from Amazon at the beginning of the week, they arrived yesterday in two separate boxes, either of which would have contained both items. The boxes spent five minutes in the house before taking their final trip to the recycling bin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted January 13, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 13, 2022 16 hours ago, Coombe Vale said: I'm probably very unpopular with my cat right now. I needed to post something back and the box she kept sitting in was just the right size... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted January 13, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 13, 2022 So we're at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for the whoofies While in the queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog Why else would I be buying dog food? So being down with the banter I told her "No, I don't have a dog, I'm starting my Dog Food Diet again" and that I probably really shouldn't cos last time, I had ended up in hospital, in intensive care with IV's in both arms and tubes coming out of most orifices. But I had lost 3 stone in 4 Weeks! I told her that it was essentially the Perfect Diet and all you have to do is load your pockets with dry dog food and just eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I get the 'Complete' food cos it's nutritionally balanced, so it works really well and I decided that I was goin to give it another go. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story) Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's arse and a lorry hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing that hard 1 6 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 7 hours ago, Hroth said: I bought two related items in one order from Amazon at the beginning of the week, they arrived yesterday in two separate boxes, either of which would have contained both items. The boxes spent five minutes in the house before taking their final trip to the recycling bin... Hopefully not their final trip..... Julian 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post F-UnitMad Posted January 13, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 13, 2022 BUT - who is advising who??!! 23 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Could be worse... They could have ordered Chinese..... 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Steamport Southport said: Could be worse... They could have ordered Chinese..... But how old was she? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted January 13, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 13, 2022 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: BUT - who is advising who??!! Should have finished with "No sweat" instead of good luck... 1 5 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 4 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Could be worse... They could have ordered Chinese..... 2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: But how old was she? B'ave..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 My "joke" was about the Chinese spies.... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-59984380 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 13, 2022 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 13, 2022 2 1 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 20 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: BUT - who is advising who??!! Al Beeb says: Quote he has now lost a series of UK military titles: Colonel of the Grenadier Guards - one of the most senior infantry regiments in the British army. He took this role over from his father Prince Philip in 2017 Honorary air commodore of RAF Lossiemouth Colonel-in-chief of the Royal Irish Regiment Colonel-in-chief of the Small Arms School Corps Colonel-in-chief of The Royal Lancers (Queen Elizabeth's Own) Colonel-in-chief of the Yorkshire Regiment Commodore-in-Chief of the Fleet Air Arm Royal colonel of the Royal Highland Fusiliers Royal colonel of the Royal Regiment of Scotland He has also lost a number of overseas honorary military titles: Colonel-in-Chief of the Queen's York Rangers (Canada) Colonel-in-Chief of the Royal Highland Fusiliers of Canada Colonel-in-Chief of the Princess Louise Fusiliers (Canada) Colonel-in-Chief of the Royal New Zealand Army Logistic Regiment But he retains his service role as a Vice-Admiral in the Royal Navy. Which seems entirely appropriate, given his (alleged) expertise in matters to do with vice. 1 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 I had no idea that a sailor visiting a prostitute was a sacking offence.... Thought it was compulsory! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Al Beeb says: But he retains his service role as a Vice-Admiral in the Royal Navy. Which seems entirely appropriate, given his (alleged) expertise in matters to do with vice. Let's remember, he didn't get the nickname 'Randy Andy' for nothing, pre-Sarah Ferguson. What goes round, etc..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 2 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: I had no idea that a sailor visiting a prostitute was a sacking offence.... Thought it was compulsory! The young women involved were trafficked and probably coerced. They were not prostitutes. steve 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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