KeithMacdonald Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 On 26/10/2022 at 22:06, Reorte said: Only gave it a like because I do like really, REALLY awful jokes! On 27/10/2022 at 04:54, peach james said: I think there is something fishy going on here, I haven’t quite cod onto it though. Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks: "Can you smell something fishy?" 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 2 fish in a tank. One says to the other," Right, how do you drive this thing?". 1 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 I said to the wife "There is only one thing that scares me about Halloween"..... She said "Which is?".. I said "Exactly...." 2 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted October 29, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 29, 2022 Ah well, clocks go back this weekend. I really should've kept up with the HP payments..... 2 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 On 28/10/2022 at 16:24, 33C said: 2 fish in a tank. One says to the other," Right, how do you drive this thing?". Ask the Russians! 🤣 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 20 minutes ago, andytrains said: Ask the Russians! 🤣 But they're Russian away! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 Well I have a long day to look forward to tomorrow. 2 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 1 hour ago, andytrains said: Ask the Russians! 🤣 Not much use asking them, the majority of theirs were used as targets, when the Ukrainians were asked to trial lots of NATO anti-tank weapons under battle conditions. Julian 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 29, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 29, 2022 On 29/10/2022 at 02:24, 33C said: 2 fish in a tank. One says to the other," Right, how do you drive this thing?". With a Ukrainian tractor? 1 3 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted October 30, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 30, 2022 Yes, I know we had this last year... 7 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted October 30, 2022 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted October 30, 2022 1 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 I've written a book about poltergeists. It's flying off the shelves... 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 We were doing a seance in Scotland when the glass flew off the table and smashed into my friends face. It turns out it was a Glas-ouija board..... 1 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 A guy just knocked on my door in fancy dress and shouted, "I'M THE DANDY HIGHWAYMAN AND YOU'RE TO SCARED TO MENTION!". I said "You've got the wrong address", but he was adamant...... 2 2 13 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 7 hours ago, 33C said: I've written a book about poltergeists. It's flying off the shelves... 7 hours ago, 33C said: We were doing a seance in Scotland when the glass flew off the table and smashed into my friends face. It turns out it was a Glas-ouija board..... 7 hours ago, 33C said: A guy just knocked on my door in fancy dress and shouted, "I'M THE DANDY HIGHWAYMAN AND YOU'RE TO SCARED TO MENTION!". I said "You've got the wrong address", but he was adamant...... Seems that you're channelling the Tim Vine jokebook. 😀 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted October 31, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 31, 2022 The latest delicacy from Smith Towers... It's a heady mix of Italian cheese, mixed with jack Daniels, and chocolate biscuits.... Bourbonzola..... 1 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
exmoordave Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 The clocks went back this weekend.......good job I kept the receipts..... 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post luckymucklebackit Posted October 31, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted October 31, 2022 My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.' 'What's that?', she said. 'It's a big building with kids in it.' 2 1 26 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 When the thread is On Topic we always need... The Groan Button!!! 4 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 1, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2022 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted November 1, 2022 Share Posted November 1, 2022 The Grim Reaper came for me last night. I fought him off with my Hoover. I was Dyson with Death... 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Tim123 Posted November 1, 2022 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2022 Same applies to trains ☹️ 7 1 1 1 1 18 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted November 1, 2022 Share Posted November 1, 2022 On 31/10/2022 at 11:18, luckymucklebackit said: My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.' 'What's that?', she said. 'It's a big building with kids in it.' We picked a bad day to stop sniffing modelling glue. 1 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted November 1, 2022 Share Posted November 1, 2022 17 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Have you got the picture with the punchline on it, instead of cropped off the bottom? 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
exmoordave Posted November 1, 2022 Share Posted November 1, 2022 As a hobby I used to dress up cashews in little dresses. I know - pretty nuts right? 15 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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