Steamport Southport Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 59 minutes ago, JZ said: There were at least two songs that came out in 1981! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post newbryford Posted February 2 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted February 2 2 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted February 2 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 2 We should not be surprised that the Mother Of All Parliaments at Westminster from time to time produces a cupid event. Just such occurred when two members, a lady from HMG and a chap from HM Opposition, found themselves on a committee - and frankly fancied the pants off each other. Both being single, things progressed in normal fashion, and a wedding day loomed. Throughout their courtship (there's an old expression!) they had studiously avoided political matters due to their obvious differences. Sadly, on the wedding night, all guests gone, just such a subject reared its ugly head. Thus, in the dark, they lay there, not touching, but each itching for the other. Eventually, the bride broke the silence "There is a split in the Conservative party, and the Socialist member may enter if he wishes." Sadly he responded "The Socialist member, having stood three times and been rejected, has forfeited his deposit and is unable to stand again." 17 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Or as I heard it... "Should the Honourable Member care to press his point, he might find a split in the Opposition". "Unfortunately, the Honourable Member has stood as an Independent and lost his deposit". 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 2 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 2 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted February 3 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 3 1 hour ago, PhilJ W said: Ah, being caught out by curved points I see! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Two monkeys are in the bath. One goes "Ooh! Ooh! Aah! Aah!" The other one says "I did tell you to put some cold in!" 🐵 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welchester Posted February 3 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 3 Bill and Ben in the bath. Bill goes flubbalubbalubbalub. Ben says, 'If you do that again Bill, I'm getting out.' 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Bill goes flubbalubbalubbalub. Ben says, 'I'll get the next round in, you're drunk.' 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Fatty and Skinny were in the bath, Fatty blew off and Skinny did laugh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Bill goes flubbalubbalubbalub. Because he was having a stroke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 2 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Bill goes flubbalubbalubbalub. Because he was having a stroke. There’s a more off colour version of this joke but in the interests of good taste, I will avoid it. steve 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted February 3 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 3 24 minutes ago, steve1 said: There’s a more off colour version of this joke but in the interests of good taste, I will avoid it. steve It would be unlikely that your version, be funny either! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 On 02/02/2024 at 19:00, newbryford said: I said to my smart device: "Siri. I need help. I have great difficulty communicating with women. Can you tell me how to improve it?" She replied: "Actually, my name is Alexa." 1 1 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 51 minutes ago, CameronL said: I said to my smart device: "Siri. I need help. I have great difficulty communicating with women. Can you tell me how to improve it?" She replied: "Actually, my name is Alexa." It's actually quite funny in one of the pubs I occasionally frequent as the TV is set up using voice to change channel. Problem is one of the barmaids is called Alexa! "Alexa! Change to SKY Sports" "Did you want me?" "I'm talking to the TV!" 1 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted February 4 Popular Post Share Posted February 4 My mate said, "I like your sports car." I said, "it's not very practical now that we have a baby." He said, "How about I buy it off you?" I said,"Go on then. Three grand?" He said, "You've got yourself a deal." I said, "Nice one - you're going to make a brilliant dad!" 2 28 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted February 4 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 4 (edited) As posted by @newbryford just up the page... Edited February 4 by Compound2632 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted February 4 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 4 3 hours ago, Compound2632 said: As posted by @newbryford just up the page... And not really funny then, either. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aardvark Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Cosmetic surgery used to be taboo, but now, when you talk about Botox, no one raises an eyebrow. 2 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jbqfc Posted February 5 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 5 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Man walks into a bar and asks for a pint of bitter. The barman serves him and then wanders off to whatever barman do when they disappear from sight. As he's sitting there supping his beer and relaxing a voice says, "you're looking very sharp today Sir". Startled slightly the man looks around and but can't see anyone so he just carries on supping his beer by himself. After a minute or so another voice "I really like that suit you're wearing - is it me or have you lost a little weight recently?". Our man is now starting to get a little freaked out as he can't anyone in the bar with him. The barman returns and the man immediately asks if the place is haunted - the barman says he never heard anybody suggest, and enquires why he asks - so the chap explains about the voices. "Ah" says the barman "that'll be the peanuts, they're complimentary". 1 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted February 5 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted February 5 3 3 14 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted February 5 Popular Post Share Posted February 5 3 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorness Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 1 16 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted February 6 Popular Post Share Posted February 6 2 4 2 15 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now