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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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I went into the cafe yesterday for a brew and cake.  Chose a mug of tea and a chunk of rocky road, it had a pothole in it.

 

The lass behind the counter didn’t get my joke. 😃

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20 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

 

I prefer the German version...

 

Not a big fan of Bill Bailey but that is brilliant.

Mike

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5 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

My new girlfriend has big gloves and a green shirt....

I don't think we need the punchline

 

But which circus is she with?

 

image.png.d087e2b1bb0bc032745f3f9a8cb1f873.png

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9 hours ago, Stray said:

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Kokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Hmmm, that one is so old that it has fossilized!

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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, ColinK said:

I went into the cafe yesterday for a brew and cake.  Chose a mug of tea and a chunk of rocky road, it had a pothole in it.

 

The lass behind the counter didn’t get my joke. 😃

image.png.0b8040f37d06e94a7a03604f1a8475cf.png

 

Actually available.

Edited by BR60103
speeling
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12 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

Hmmm, that one is so old that it has fossilized!

It's less than 30 years old, ( which is young compared to some of the rehashes in this thread), Larry died in 1996.

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Did you know Micheal Miles has died?

No

Bong

 

 

Now that really is an ancient joke. 
Anyone under 80 may need to do some Googling. 

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15 hours ago, ikks said:

Not a big fan of Bill Bailey but that is brilliant

Not a big fan of Kraftwerk. The only album of theirs that I'd buy is "Kraftwerk Unplugged".

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1 hour ago, Hibelroad said:

Did you know Micheal Miles has died?

No

Bong

 

 

Now that really is an ancient joke. 
Anyone under 80 may need to do some Googling. 

I remember that show mainly because my dad went on it in September 1958, and won the £50 treasure chest (worth about £1250 today). That Christmas my brother and myself got new bikes each, not sure what pressie my sister got, probably a doll.

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1 hour ago, Hibelroad said:

Did you know Micheal Miles has died?

No

Bong

 

 

Now that really is an ancient joke. 
Anyone under 80 may need to do some Googling. 

 

 Cue  @J. S. Bach  giving us a head scratch emoji .   😎

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1 hour ago, CameronL said:

Not a big fan of Kraftwerk. The only album of theirs that I'd buy is "Kraftwerk Unplugged".

Not my thing, although they seem to have a range of talents - I believe they also manufacture margarine and cheese slices etc.

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21 minutes ago, Deeps said:

Not my thing, although they seem to have a range of talents - I believe they also manufacture margarine and cheese slices etc.

It's perfectly possible to combine cheese and music.

 

S Club 7 and Steps both made careers of it.

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5 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

I remember that show mainly because my dad went on it in September 1958, and won the £50 treasure chest (worth about £1250 today). That Christmas my brother and myself got new bikes each, not sure what pressie my sister got, probably a doll.

 

7 minutes ago, Sidecar Racer said:

 

 Here you go, it's from an old game show , 

 

 

My dad when he went on the show only lasted as long as the second lady in that clip.

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53 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

My dad when he went on the show only lasted as long as the second lady in that clip.

 

Now I'm imagining a special celebrity-special version, with Jim Trott (Vicar of Dibley) making an appearance.

 

It's Jim, isn't it?

No, no-no, no, no-no, yes!

 

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2 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

And people say modern TV is rubbish.....

 

 

 

 

They were just finding their way back then, setting the benchmarks...

 

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I remember when they brought it back!

 

I'm pretty sure someone like Bruce Forsyth or Bob Monkhouse did it as a segment in a different programme in the late 1970s or early 1980s.

 

Wiki just says the original version and Des O'Connor in the 1990s. I certainly wouldn't have watched that!

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

I remember when they brought it back!

 

I'm pretty sure someone like Bruce Forsyth or Bob Monkhouse did it as a segment in a different programme in the late 1970s or early 1980s.

 

Wiki just says the original version and Des O'Connor in the 1990s. I certainly wouldn't have watched that!

 

 

 

Des O'Connor had a criminal record - and released some more later on.

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