KeithMacdonald Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 1 hour ago, NIK said: After the face of a 75,000 year old neanderthal woman is revealed, Joe Biden is reminded of his first date. But he can't remember where it was or what her name is. 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 17 hours ago, NIK said: After the face of a 75,000 year old neanderthal woman is revealed, Joe Biden is reminded of his first date. Don’t you mean Keith Richards? steve 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 50 minutes ago, steve1 said: Don’t you mean Keith Richards? steve At first glance, I thought it WAS Keith Richards.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 3 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 3 (edited) One of the 'street ladies' (meaning a rough sleeper, not on the game though she's done her share of that) of my area looks remarkably like this. Caroline is a bit tragic, usual story, hubby battered her then left, and she went on the game to put her son through school and college, then became a heroin and crack cocaine addict to cope with it. The lad, who owes her everthing, got a doctorate but has severed all connections with his mother, who was given a flat after a prison sentence but couldn't cope with it, no support, and eventually lost it, so she's back on the streets. She's in her 50s but looks as old as the Neandertal woman. I feel quite sorry for her, but won't give her money because she'll spend it on killing herself with drugs or booze, but she knows I'm good for a bag of chips or a Tesco sandwich... Kieth was killed years ago, but is so out of it he hasn't realised yet... Edited May 3 by The Johnster 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 On 16/11/2023 at 11:55, Hroth said: Its a pity that a switch to temporarily disable gravity hasn't yet been invented... Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces of the universe, if you remove it what are you left with?………………….gravy. 2 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold franciswilliamwebb Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 15 hours ago, The Johnster said: she knows I'm good for ... a Tesco sandwich... Slightly more expensive than a Tuppenny Upright, I'd imagine😉 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 On 02/05/2024 at 11:40, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: He's clearly a pioneer of rap music, It that "rap" with a silent "c". 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 19 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons. Thank you. 2 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 4 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 4 3 hours ago, Deeps said: Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces of the universe, if you remove it what are you left with?………………….gravy. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 (edited) 3 hours ago, franciswilliamwebb said: Slightly more expensive than a Tuppenny Upright, I'd imagine😉 Which funnily enough I was offered in broad daylight yesterday on Clifton Street, our local shops, by a much younger lady. This happens fairly often; I look like a punter I suppose, it’s crack addicts mostly. This one is new, and was pleasant enough in terms of social skills but irritatingly persistent, and followed me around until she found another victim. Poor cow. Edited May 4 by The Johnster 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 47 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: That is a sizeable groan, I should seek the advice of a doctor if I were you! Not exactly a joke but, quite by chance, I had the good fortune to marry a woman who became a very capable cook. She could almost be categorised as a chef. It so happens that the gravy she makes is the best I have ever tasted. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 Sounds like a keeper, Phil. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 20 minutes ago, The Johnster said: Sounds like a keeper, Phil. Absolutely. The question is, does she want to keep me? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buhar Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, Deeps said: That is a sizeable groan, I should seek the advice of a doctor if I were you! Not exactly a joke but, quite by chance, I had the good fortune to marry a woman who became a very capable cook. She could almost be categorised as a chef. It so happens that the gravy she makes is the best I have ever tasted. I presume it moves about a bit. (Hancock) 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 steve 2 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 And schizophrenic? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold AndrueC Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 (edited) 8 minutes ago, The Johnster said: And schizophrenic? I used to think I was schizophrenic. Now I'm in two minds about it. Edited May 4 by AndrueC 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Its almost like a "Three hobbits and an elf walk into a bar" joke https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cxr3lw3elk4o 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 I was addicted to the "Hokey-Cokey" but I've turned myself around... 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted May 4 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 4 35 minutes ago, 33C said: I was addicted to the "Hokey-Cokey" but I've turned myself around... I thought that it was the "Hokey-Pokey". 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 32 minutes ago, 33C said: I was addicted to the "Hokey-Cokey" but I've turned myself around... I got a real pineapple to do a sexy version of Agadoo for my partner but I pushed it too far.... 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Kylestrome Posted May 4 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 4 (edited) 58 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said: I thought that it was the "Hokey-Pokey". That's the American version ... Edited May 4 by Kylestrome 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Vistisen Posted May 4 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 4 3 hours ago, AndrueC said: I used to think I was schizophrenic. Now I'm in two minds about it. I used to be schizophrenic, but we are better now. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Turpin Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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