luckymucklebackit Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Armchair Modeller said: or this? Englanders? in kilts? cultural re-education class for you laddie 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 40 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: Englanders? in kilts? cultural re-education class for you laddie That's the joke in the film. They were English as they were wearing underpants.... Jason 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 It takes five minutes to walk from my house to the pub, but it takes over an hour to walk home. The difference is staggering!! 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welly Posted October 26, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 26, 2019 Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci Convention - I hear this year's will be as big as the last 2 put together. 1 1 8 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Welly said: Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci Convention - I hear this year's will be as big as the last 2 put together. Will your wife be wearing sequence on her dress? Regards Julian 3 3 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 What is that you say? Guy Fawkes should have lit the fuse! 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted October 26, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 26, 2019 (edited) On 17/10/2019 at 17:58, BoD said: A Scotsman walks into a pub. There should be an Englishman and Irishman there too but they are still in Japan. A Scotsman, Irishman, Australian and New Zealander walk into a pub ........ Edited October 26, 2019 by BoD 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 31 minutes ago, BoD said: A Scotsman, Irishman, Australian and New Zealander walk into a pub ........ Hang on with jokes on this theme until tomorrow when the Welsh are out of the equation. Well, one can live in hope. Bernard 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 6 hours ago, NorthBrit said: What is that you say? Guy Fawkes should have lit the fuse! Yep. He would have killed the Scottish king. Starting a civil war and an Englishman or Dutchman would have taken the throne.... In other words, the same history would have occurred only a bit earlier. James I rather than James II. Jason 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 1 hour ago, BoD said: A Scotsman, Irishman, Australian and New Zealander walk into a pub ........ Is that the bar staff? Most of them in the pubs by mine are from those places. Jason 2 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 Wanda's dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll post you a check .' 'Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!' 'I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!' When the repairman arrived at Wanda's house the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, 'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!' To which the parrot replied, 'Get him, Spike!'........ 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamiel Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 From Facebook, a slightly politer version. We were in the pub a few weeks ago when these four huge blokes started mouthing off at us. ‘Pretend we are the police’ my mate said. I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the stuffing out of us. 1 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post APOLLO Posted October 28, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2019 Brit15 2 28 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post BoD Posted October 29, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted October 29, 2019 I’m really upset with my local cinema. They wouldn’t accept a fifty pound note in payment for my popcorn and drink. I had to pay with two twenties and a ten instead, 5 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 29, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 29, 2019 Wife "This broom causes callouses on my hands." Husband "Well use the car then." Thats when the fight started. 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted October 30, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 30, 2019 Times were hard, and I had to send the missus out on the game. When she came home after the first night, and I asked how much she’d made, she said ‘£86.25’. ‘What mean so and so gave you 25p?’, I asked. ’All of them’, she said... 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted October 30, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 30, 2019 6 hours ago, The Johnster said: Times were hard, and I had to send the missus out on the game. When she came home after the first night, and I asked how much she’d made, she said ‘£86.25’. ‘What mean so and so gave you 25p?’, I asked. ’All of them’, she said... The old ones are the best. Used to have a sixpence on the end of it in my day, and probably a farthing before that! Mike. 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 30, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 30, 2019 I hope they all got their money's worth. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 30, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 30, 2019 I found that answering the door naked helps deter trick and treaters. Theres two more at the door now dressed as policemen. 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted October 30, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 30, 2019 (edited) An Englishman walked into a bar................................. In Tokyo! Edited October 30, 2019 by Happy Hippo 2 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 What do you call a Welshman* holding a bottle of champagne after the Rugby World Cup final? Waiter. *Also works for Scots, Irish, French, etc. By someone who doesn't support England or like Rugby Union. But I thought I would join in the banter. Jason 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 16 hours ago, The Johnster said: Times were hard, and I had to send the missus out on the game. When she came home after the first night, and I asked how much she’d made, she said ‘£86.25’. ‘What mean so and so gave you 25p?’, I asked. ’All of them’, she said... She would have a runny nose after all that lot ! 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 A friend of mine has just asked me if I could help re-turf an entire field so he can stage a civil war re-enactment at the weekend. Sod that for a game of soldiers. 1 12 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 2 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: She would have a runny nose after all that lot ! Gross! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted October 30, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 30, 2019 What goes beep beep beep beep beep? The Welsh celebration open top bus reversing back into the garage. Mike. 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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