jcm@gwr Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 If you divided the circumference of a pumpkin by it's diameter, would you get pumpkin pi ? 1 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 On 30/10/2019 at 20:31, Enterprisingwestern said: What goes beep beep beep beep beep? The Welsh celebration open top bus reversing back into the garage. Mike. Rhybudd, Mae cerbydd yn wide 'nol... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2019 It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. 3 1 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 5 hours ago, The Johnster said: Rhybudd, Mae cerbydd yn wide 'nol... With the application of cream and a poultice it will get better, just don't pick it!¬ Mike. 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 1, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 SWMBO was going through her wardrobe and she said "Look at this. It still fits me after 25 years." I said "It's a scarf!" 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2019 19 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: SWMBO was going through her wardrobe and she said "Look at this. It still fits me after 25 years." I said "It's a scarf!" When is your hospital appointment? 2 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chuffinghell Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) ... Edited November 1, 2019 by chuffinghell 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post chuffinghell Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) .... Edited November 1, 2019 by chuffinghell 2 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Blade Runner is set in November 2019. Imagine living in a dystopian future where digital billboards are everywhere, the climate would be miserable and we talk to our computers. 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 He's got to be rescued first... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2019 1 hour ago, DavidB-AU said: Blade Runner is set in November 2019. Imagine living in a dystopian future where digital billboards are everywhere, the climate would be miserable and we talk to our computers. Can't get my head around the bit where people say what was once portrayed as dystopian is great. Anyway a bit much for the jokes thread! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damo666 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 1 hour ago, DavidB-AU said: Blade Runner is set in November 2019. Imagine living in a dystopian future where digital billboards are everywhere, the climate would be miserable and we talk to our computers. Compare and Contrast: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50247479 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 1, 2019 I've just read that book 1984. I don't remember it being like that at all. 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 5 hours ago, chuffinghell said: ... With the post above still in my mind, I scrolled down to this next one. Seeing Kirk's pose in the picture and the part of the caption in capitals before the part of the caption in lower case appeared, I did wonder what was coming next! 4 hours ago, chuffinghell said: .... 1 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 8 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: SWMBO was going through her wardrobe and she said "Look at this. It still fits me after 25 years." I said "It's a scarf!" Hi Colin, That reminds me, should a woman ask, "Does my bum look big in this ?". Don't answer by saying, "I can't see love, somethings blocking out the sunlight !" Gibbo. 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Colin, That reminds me, should a woman ask, "Does my bum look big in this ?". Don't answer by saying, "I can't see love, somethings blocking out the sunlight !" Gibbo. From this side of the ocean . . 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian Smeeton Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2019 I had the same 'does my bum....etc' question before several annual dinners. My response was to wolf whistle, got me off the hook quite nicely, I thought. Some of my regulars in my pub were having the same sort of discussion re another annual event, and I gave my response. Sadly, I hadn't noticed my own SWMBO listening to the conversation in the other bar. That was nearly 20 years ago, and it has been mostly quiet since then. Regards Ian 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2019 I just paid for a 12 month gym membership and the bank phoned me to check that my cards had not been stolen! 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Ian Smeeton said: I had the same 'does my bum....etc' question before several annual dinners. My response was to wolf whistle, got me off the hook quite nicely, I thought. Some of my regulars in my pub were having the same sort of discussion re another annual event, and I gave my response. Sadly, I hadn't noticed my own SWMBO listening to the conversation in the other bar. That was nearly 20 years ago, and it has been mostly quiet since then. Regards Ian It is really important to check the audience before comments of possibly controversial nature. New Year's Eve many moons past... midnight arrived and M-in-Law would normally have, long since have cleared the pub, with frantic polishing and clearing of glasses, plus intense stares for reluctant leavers. There was no sign of the usual activity, perhaps the festive season had touched the heart of even this Welsh Dragon. Son-in-Law {hers} swung into the other side of the bar to serve the next customers. I called out to him; "Hey Dave, where's the Dragon?" As his face paled to parchment white, a quiet voice, behind my shoulder blades, replied........ "I'm here dear"....... ...... the rest is history..... Regards Julian 3 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 https://live.staticflickr.com/3954/14965132493_34c5dffffe_b.jpg Photo of the Union of South Africa at Rugby, everybody else is in the pub!! 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 2, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 2, 2019 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: https://live.staticflickr.com/3954/14965132493_34c5dffffe_b.jpg Photo of the Union of South Africa at Rugby, everybody else is in the pub!! Nice pic. Congratulations to the RSA. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 2, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 2, 2019 "Am I going to be OK doc?" "I doubt it Mercury is in Uranus right now." "I don't go in for that astrology stuff." "Neither do I but my thermometer has just broken." 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 I phoned up Weight Watchers, and said, “it’s an emergency; can you send somebody round?” They said, “yeah - we’ve got loads of them.” steve 3 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 PARKING TICKET: My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres. So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Jeremy Corbyn stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're getting older. It's so important at our age!! Regards Julian 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 96701 Posted November 4, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 4, 2019 9 hours ago, jcredfer said: PARKING TICKET: My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres. So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Jeremy Corbyn stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're getting older. It's so important at our age!! Regards Julian I'd do that to vehicles with Conservative supporting stickers in. 2 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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