RMweb Premium Siberian Snooper Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 4 hours ago, Clive Mortimore said: Having worked on a gastrointestinal ward I can talk sh1t for hours. I may need to visit you as I've not stopped S***ing in a fortnight! I'm proper flushed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Siberian Snooper Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 4 hours ago, Mallard60022 said: I hope Mr York reads this and shuts you down. He had to tell me off the other day as I lost my rag at someone for being a ####### and misunderstanding my superb scribblings about Dawlish. Ar$£ That gent sadly lacks a sense of humour, not Mr York, the protagonist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Clive Mortimore Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 2 minutes ago, Siberian Snooper said: I may need to visit you as I've not stopped S***ing in a fortnight! I'm proper flushed! Thankfully I am now retired so only have the horses muck heap to deal with. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigwordsmith Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 Clearly all my birthdays are about to arrive at once - I just received the following emails... Dear Respected One, Nice To Meet You, I write briefly to seek for your partnership to assist me in the transfer and investment of my inheritance funds (USD 9.5M) Nine Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars from my late father who died mysteriously. Am Miss.Zalanda Mubarak, I am 19 years old,am only child of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.Alhaji Bilal Mubarak. I got your contact email from international domain database and I decided to contact you for this offer, That is based on trust and your outstanding, Please reply me back only if you are interested to asist me for more details. Your urgent response will be appreciated. Talk to you the more sincerely. Regards Mis.Zalanda Mubarak. So, apologies in advance, It looks like I am about to be spending a great deal of time working out how to spend all that lovely lolly. Apparently all I have to do is phone the low-rate international number tell her all my bank account details and passwords, and she'll pop the money in quick as a flash! Todle pip! 3 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Siberian Snooper Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 5 minutes ago, Clive Mortimore said: Thankfully I am now retired so only have the horses muck heap to deal with. A shovel or indeed a fork would be of no use, a mop and squedgy bucket, maybe! 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwestdivide Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 35 minutes ago, bigwordsmith said: I just received the following emails What you need is a book, "Delete This at your Peril": https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1999732.Delete_This_at_your_Peril (other bookshops are available). Utterly hilarious. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 14, 2019 (edited) Following Smiffy's post earlier, I am somewhat disappointed to have received this today : Hello, You might find it so difficult to remember me,though it is indeed a very long time,I am much delighted to contact you again after a long period of time,I remember you despite circumstances that made things not worked out as we projected then.I want to inform you that the transaction we're doing together then finally worked out and I decided to contact you and to let you know because of your tremendous effort to make things work out then. Meanwhile I must inform you that I'm presently in Ireland for numerous business negotiation with some partners.with my sincere heart i have decided to compensate you with $900,000 for your dedication then on our transaction,you tried so much that period and I appreciated your effort.I wrote a cheque/Check on your name,as soon as you receive it,you let me know. Contact my secretary now on his email: agentagent263@gmail.com Name:David Lamptey You are to forward to him your Name........ Address......., Phone number......for shipment/dispatch of the cheque/Check to you. Regards, Mr.John I mean , only a paltry $900,000, pah, not worth bothering any electrons for such a low figure. Edited June 15, 2019 by Stubby47 2 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Captain Kernow Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 14, 2019 2 hours ago, Stubby47 said: Following Smiffy's post earlier, I am somewhat disappointed to have received this today : Hello, You might find it so difficult to remember me,though it is indeed a very long time,I am much delighted to contact you again after a long period of time,I remember you despite circumstances that made things not worked out as we projected then.I want to inform you that the transaction we're doing together then finally worked out and I decided to contact you and to let you know because of your tremendous effort to make things work out then. Meanwhile I must inform you that I'm presently in Ireland for numerous business negotiation with some partners.with my sincere heart i have decided to compensate you with $900,000 for your dedication then on our transaction,you tried so much that period and I appreciated your effort.I wrote a cheque/Check on your name,as soon as you receive it,you let me know. Contact my secretary now on his email: agentagent263@gmail.com Name:David Lamptey You are to forward to him your Name........ Address......., Phone number......for shipment/dispatch of the cheque/Check to you. Regards, Mr.John I mean , only a paltry $900,000, pah, not worth the bothering any electrons for such a low figure. There must be a catch. I doubt that you would be entitled to receive the full amount, Mr Stubbs. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Captain Kernow Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 14, 2019 btw, I note that new Bulleid coaches are being announced by Kernow in the 'Exepcted Soon News' section of their newsletter. No maroon liveried ones as yet, however. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Captain Kernow Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 14, 2019 Please forgive the blatant promotion of this event, but I have arranged another gathering at the Chinese restaurant 'Chi', in Kenton, near Starcross, for the evening of Friday 28th June next. More details here - Thank you. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmsforever Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 Are any of you get the phone call telling you that the email internet will be cut off press one to speak etc ,the voice sounds like Horace Batchelor . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzer Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 20 hours ago, St Enodoc said: So you can't sing either? It’s called art. Only the Enlightened Ones can understand it 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzer Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 10 hours ago, Clive Mortimore said: Back in the 1970s the Soviets had a theory about skinheads. The Russian translation of "skinhead" was the same as "baldie" so they concluded, owing to Western advertising where only those with a full head of hair were successful and got all the birds, the trouble caused by the "skinheads" was due to these angry bald men being marganalised by society. How right they were. The Soviet translators must have been very confused by the concept of “baldies” referring to the first 20 Brush Type 2’s and how fitting headcode boxes somehow stopped bald men being marginalised. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Captain Kernow Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 14, 2019 44 minutes ago, jazzer said: It’s called art. Only the Enlightened Ones can understand it Did anyone call for Art? 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Mallard60022 Posted June 14, 2019 Author RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 1 minute ago, Captain Kernow said: Did anyone call for Art? Yup. Create it now dear boy. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gerbil-Fritters Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Captain Kernow said: Did anyone call for Art? some elderly gentlemen masquerading as rock stars 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastwestdivide Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 2 hours ago, lmsforever said: Are any of you get the phone call telling you that the email internet will be cut off press one to speak etc ,the voice sounds like Horace Batchelor . About 3 times a week up to a couple of weeks ago, then nothing. Out of curiosity I strung one along for a bit. ... If you express doubts that they're really from Microsoft/BT/whoever, they try a sneaky method to pretend they've ID'd your computer, by getting you to find a "CLSID" number at the tail end of the Windows registry, a number that is in fact common to every single Windows computer. If they mention CLSID, laugh in their face. They don't like that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Clive Mortimore Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 1 hour ago, jazzer said: The Soviet translators must have been very confused by the concept of “baldies” referring to the first 20 Brush Type 2’s and how fitting headcode boxes somehow stopped bald men being marginalised. Never heard the early Brush 2s called Baldies, they were always Toffee Apples*. The blue star disc headcode locos were called Skinheads by 80s spotters but real Skinheads were Sulzer Bo-Bos. * Toffee Apples because of shape of one of the control handles that was removed and returned to stores (without looking at me books I cannot remember if it was the power handle or the brake). 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium great northern Posted June 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 14, 2019 57 minutes ago, eastwestdivide said: About 3 times a week up to a couple of weeks ago, then nothing. Out of curiosity I strung one along for a bit. ... If you express doubts that they're really from Microsoft/BT/whoever, they try a sneaky method to pretend they've ID'd your computer, by getting you to find a "CLSID" number at the tail end of the Windows registry, a number that is in fact common to every single Windows computer. If they mention CLSID, laugh in their face. They don't like that. All the ones I get now are automated. Spoils the fun really. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium St Enodoc Posted June 15, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 15, 2019 11 hours ago, Stubby47 said: Regards, Mr.John Damn, I've been rumbled. I knew I shouldn't have used my real name. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium St Enodoc Posted June 15, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 15, 2019 7 hours ago, lmsforever said: Are any of you get the phone call telling you that the email internet will be cut off press one to speak etc ,the voice sounds like Horace Batchelor . Showing your age there. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium St Enodoc Posted June 15, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 15, 2019 7 hours ago, jazzer said: It’s called art. Only the Enlightened Ones can understand it 6 hours ago, Captain Kernow said: Did anyone call for Art? Oh no. You've set him off again. Nurse! 1 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Mallard60022 Posted June 15, 2019 Author RMweb Premium Share Posted June 15, 2019 Take your pick...….and then get a plaster for the resulting wound. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porkscratching Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 8 minutes ago, Mallard60022 said: Take your pick...….and then get a plaster for the resulting wound. Regrettably there weren't any birds remotely like that the last time I went to A&E... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Clive Mortimore Posted June 15, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 15, 2019 7 hours ago, St Enodoc said: Oh no. You've set him off again. Nurse! Someone called. OK I am retired but I am still a qualified nurse. 2 1 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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