Tim Dubya

7.7 - how about a Martini as well, shaken, not stirred?

Eat a pine tree, works according to adverts

Do I get Carol Vorderman with that too?

so.... if I give up looking for them they might appear, dependent on the correct digits entered in the right order by someone who knows them.

or I could just wrap some sandpaper around a small block of wood.... where would be the fun in that?

A feather duster is not going to be of much use in this scenario.

ah, but for the tidying up...

Not that Slimming World one?

I hope there's plenty of veg involved. In fact, I'm hoping it's all veg.

It is all veg with cashews and chickpeas.

Go for it, N Gauge is great!

Naughty Naughty Gauge hmmm best get down to Specsavers mate

My hands have shrunk...

Keep the faith bro !

One of the fifty greatest rock albums according to Planet Rock radio last week.

One of life's mysteries is, what has the cover artwork to do with the title?

Loose the whippets Smithers.

Get off my land!!

Get outta my cuntry.

Only John Major did that (allegedly)

I strongly recommend caution....

beat mine 2-1... I think...

not anymore...

Flushed with success and ready to start it all again in the morning !

Raring to go (again)

Perhaps she was thinking of "Health and Efficiency". Did she wink at you?

Just means it was over and done with rather quickly... ...are you sure it was a compliment?

I'm always quick

Just disappeared down the plughole...

It's a gert big train, not a gurt big train.

It was a big'un whatever it was...

Socialist Worker! Socialist Worker!

Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh / Splotila naveki Velikaya Rus' ...

Rubbish modelling clay

Very tempting and five of your five-a-day!

Sorry to hear about the back.

I think I might have heard something about some guy prescribing liberal applications of the "Old Glen Mc Sozzle" (I'm not sure about the name).

Other "5-a-day" options are also available - based on pears - barley - and grapes.

Decisions ... decisions ... .

Thanks.

These are similar in some respects to my appeal for hangover cures from yesterday - could there be a connection?

She's in for a surprise!

Just checked they're still using a photo from 2002 - when I had a waist, some hair and a cheery outlook on life...

More like a "stiff" disinfectory when I was working!

There be naughty boys on here, thinks me!

So have you changed the toner yet?

He's still sliding the cartridge in an out gently and repeatedly to even out the toner.

I did it with a pot noodle.....ripping off its top, getting her hot and wet etc.

Luckily the Supt saw the funny side etc

Been there. The handle on our wheelie bin is still BR bauxite!

it's fitted then

Class Kev!!!!

Railmatch weathered Black Bins here.

I always though that it was claret dear boy. Hic.

Moments of clarity should be avoided at all cost. At best you'll get frustrated, at worst you'll get shot.

Arsenal

Just a figment of your imagination.

That'll largely fall on stony ground.....

Sadly Tim I am already taken, but nice of you to offer. 

Only when inadvertently (and embarrasingly) revealing your age.

Otherwise you're pretty well plumb out of luck!

I had a P then B4 I knew it I'd parted with some more of my readies. (Merry Christmas Dubya, I say).

I'll have a vowel...

I miss dear old Tel.

Is that some form of ballast hopper?

Snails

Went tits up.

Just a little...

Cue for a Commemorative Limited Edition from Hornby?

Cadbury's made him and covered him in what ?

It's easier to chew baccy

bit hairy though...

Daft bu**er....hope it wasn't an Eagle?

Even an eagle wouldn't have had sharper claws !

A seagull did that to me. I then asked the misses for a tissue - "Why?" she asked, "It will be miles away by now!"

Which way will the wind be blowing later I wonder?

I don't yet know but Mr Briggs is cracking on with the drawings as we speak...

It's an ill wind that blows no good.

Aberystwyth

Woman don't fart, they break wind, or more accurately drop their guts in great cabbagey gusts

ah, a connoisseur

I presume it is a repeat judging by the hieroglyphics in the RT. And Jericho sounds somewhat removed from the reality. Death in Paradise is totally removed from reality but is usually quite amusing, with sunshine too.

Quite enjoyed it but one of the 'enthusiasts' was weird and was made to feel uncomfortable by dirty steam locos. Wot?

Nothing new. I usually feel uncomfortable when I stand next to an LNER loco.