rembrow

The small price of a bicycle

White Rabbits!

The Duchess is broken, how will I get back from York?

today I have mainly been eating Gabapentin

is seeking distinctivity.

Don't like when people do unwarranted public hatchet jobs on decent traders in places like this.

used to have a photographic memory. Unfortunately it no longer provides same-day service :-(

Daddy came home from work tired, His boss had been driving him mad. The kids were all shouting, the dog bit him too. His dinner was nothing but boiled over stew. I guess it was then he decided, Up to the rooftop he'd go, He was about to jump off when, The kids started howling below.

The Birds

has anybody seen my camel?

battening down the hatches

Once a lonely caterpillar sat and cried; To a sympathetic beetle by his side. "I've got nobody to hug, I'm such an ugly bug." Then a spider and a dragon fly replied, "If you're serious and want to win a bride, Come along with us, To the glorious Annual ugly bug ball."

It's Star Trek Jim, but not as we know it....

I had a gal, a rare nice gal, down in Wroxham way She were whooly nice ter me in the ole school days. She would smile all the while, but Daddy dint know all What she used ter say ter me behind the garden wall. 'Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight, boy?' Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley, But she's my little nicoteen gal.

I was astonished the other day, whilst stopping briefly to make use of the Gentleman's lavatory in a motorway services area, to see an advertisement alleging that a firm has invented a pair of underpants that can either prevent or supress the unwanted emission of gaseous products from one's posterior.

I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustman

It won't be too long now before heading out to sunnier climes, now do I pack my mankini or speedos ? Decisions decisions!

Is it wrong to be eating a beef spread sandwich with HP sauce and beef hula hoops

I would just like to make it clear, in unequivocal and unambiguous terms, that I am not in the business of re-felting other people's shed roofs, nor am I particularly keen to even consider installing a bath on the roof of any shed whatsoever, at any time or in any place.

Mrs SG points out of car window; 'there's a kitchen and bathroom place in Dereham.' Me; 'we're in Swaffham.....'

I've just watched a bloke cutting his grass. In the middle of a downpour (thunderstorm)!!!

It's Friday....Must be KMRC weekly newsletter day then....

The Garrote from Ipanema

A bold hippopotamus was standing one day, On the banks of the cool Shalimar, He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay, By the light of the evening star, Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair, His fair hippopotami maid, The hippopotamus was no ignoramus, And sang her this sweet serenade.

A bold hippopotamus was standing one day, On the banks of the cool Shalimar, He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay, By the light of the evening star, Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair, His fair hippopotami maid, The hippopotamus was no ignoramus, And sang her this sweet serenade.