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rembrow

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Status Replies posted by rembrow

  1. Porcy Mane

    A bold hippopotamus was standing one day, On the banks of the cool Shalimar, He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay, By the light of the evening star, Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair, His fair hippopotami maid, The hippopotamus was no ignoramus, And sang her this sweet serenade.

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      'Twas on the Monday morning,

      The gasman came to call,

      The gas tap wouldn't turn,

      I wasn't getting gas at all.

      He tore out all the skirting boards,

      To try and find the mains,

      And I had to call the carpenter to put them back again!

       

      Oh, it all makes work,

      For the working man to do!

       

    2. (See 17 other replies to this status update)

  2. NGT6 1315

    Thunderbolt and Lightning!

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      Names of a 'celebrities' children?

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  3. newbryford

    I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      Hello Bomb, are you with me?

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  4. 2mmMark

    I have an idea - let's make apostrophes chargeable. Then there would be some incentive to get them right and not slam one in everytime a word ends with an S

  5. bgman

    Just stopped an annoying fly in the room with gloss spray varnish. Works a treat !

  6. Horsetan

    has just ordered a Baccara CD #yessiricanboogie

  7. Horsetan

    has just ordered a Baccara CD #yessiricanboogie

  8. Porcy Mane

    (Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)...: My boomerang won't come back, My boomerang won't come back, I've waved the thing all over the place, Practised till I was black in the face, I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race, My boomerang won't come back

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      Charlie Drake-'Please Mr Custer'

      What am I doing here?

      Please Mr.Custer, I don’t wanna go

      Eh, er, Mr.Custer? Please don’t make me go

       

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  9. AndyB

    It's definitely sandals and socks weather. Any warmer and I may need to knot a hankie and fashion some headgear!

  10. newbryford

    Mmmmm Magnum. (And nothig to do with a dodgy TV series)

  11. Re6/6

    fears an inter-county war of words! http://www.devonlive.com/historic-england-apologises-for-reminding-cornwall-that-devon-invented-the-pasty/story-30393775-detail/story.html

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      To widen the argument, food historians claim the haggis was in English cookbooks 130 years before appearing in Scotland. Now we have another army heading south to Derby (again)

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  12. Horsetan

    recognises that his horse is strong and stable.

  13. eastwestdivide

    Who's in charge here?

  14. 46444

    Who sang 'We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time?'

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      Is that a rhetorical question?

    2. (See 10 other replies to this status update)

  15. M.I.B

    Goodbye and thank you to Wallace / Cleggy

  16. Horsetan

    has started a 24-hour urine collection test....

    1. rembrow

      rembrow

      Oh dear, I've now got images of Blackadder with Captain Rum on the long sea voyage where they ran out of water!!!

    2. (See 22 other replies to this status update)

  17. Captain Kernow

    A productive day so far. I have given CTMK's car a full clean and valet. She is very pleased. I am very tired.

  18. Captain Kernow

    The gnome can't be ar8ed talking to the shoe shop manager anymore, so he walks out of the shop and goes and finds a park to sit down in.

  19. big jim

    new Taskmaster on dave, brilliant, best show on TV

  20. alderson.eric.j

    Just been told my mother died last night... the worst feeling I ever felt.

  21. Re6/6

    has donned the cynical hat. Heaven help us all with more b****y politicing. A month of purgatory ensues.

  22. LNERGE

    What does one actually have to do to a Hornby class 110 DMU to make it run nicely?

  23. Horsetan

    is finding that ironing goes really well with snooker on the telly

  24. The Black Hat

    Well, woke up this morning, with a wine glass in my hand Whose wine? What wine? Where the hell did I dine? Must've been a dream, I don't believe where I've been. Come on... let's do it again!!

  25. adb968008

    I'm suddenly worried about flying "the friendly skies"

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