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HeeleyBridge

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Status Updates posted by HeeleyBridge

  1. And above all, be careful of the Tuscan Salami

    1. vaughan45

      vaughan45

      Boxcar Red or Boxcar Willy

    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      A half-empty bottle of drain cleaner

    3. Brit70053

      Brit70053

      Its supposed to be highly secret Bloodnock

  2. We're about 40% banana genetically, the other 60% is beer, sausages and pasties.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. locoholic

      locoholic

      It's six days into half term, and I'm now 100% bananas, thanks to my children.

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      How about a large chunk of toffee?

    4. NHY 581

      NHY 581

      Seems a waste of 40%.

  3. Sun is shining in the sky! There ain't a cloud in sight! It's stopped raining!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Runnin' down the avenue,

      See how the sun shines brightly

      In the city,

      In the streets where once was pity,

      Mr. Blue

      Sky is living here today,

      Hey-ey-ey

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long?

      Where did we go wrong?

    4. Tim Dubya
  4. is seriously wondering how many culinery SPADs he must accrue before being (thankfully) banned from the food preparation area.

    1. Michael Delamar

      Michael Delamar

      Spoons passed at danger

    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Have a napkin...

  5. Brain for sale. Never been out of original packaging. Professionally weathered. One careful owner.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Captain Kernow
    3. Tim Dubya
    4. muddys-blues

      muddys-blues

      Hey hey, you can't use status updates for advertising g things for sale .... please use the buy and sell section ??

  6. Toss the feathers!

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Great Irish trad piece, that.

    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Eat the Sausages! An old folk tune from Haverfordwest.

  7. Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.

    1. Castleacreshunter
    2. NGT6 1315
    3. vaughan45

      vaughan45

      Hasten Jason fetch a basin, uh flop. fetch a mop

  8. is lazing on a sunny afternoon.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      There's a chill wind blowing round mi' Trossachs down here.

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Capn where's your troosers?

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      The taxman's taken all your dough, then.

  9. Of course, I've modified it a little.

    1. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Absolutely relative.

  10. A young lady named Rhoda from Kirkburton is playing hard to get...

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      eh?

      I are from Radstock...

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      There, there, it could be worse, not much admittedly, but it could be worse.

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      No you're right, it could have been Norfolk, somewhere (anywhere)...

  11. just checked out Guitar George, he knows all those fancy chords

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      You need to get your ears tested and bathe young man!

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      My mom says we're a pair of perverts - Got any badges,posters, stickers and T-shirts?

    4. Kylestrome

      Kylestrome

      'can't get no fancy notes on my blue guitar.

  12. Does your chewing gum lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Trade Federation

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      I catch mine on my tonsils and heave it left and right ...

       

    4. Welly

      Welly

      When I was a lad, I annoyed my Mum by leaving something more revolting than chewing gum on my bedpost!

  13. it's 16:40 and I'm bored

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Well done for lasting that long. I've been bored since 10:30am and have another 2 hours and 10 minutes to "enjoy" at the place they call "work".

    2. Welly

      Welly

      40 minutes past Beer O'Clock and you are bored?!

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      I'm on the verge of saying 'Hamilton Academicals'.

  14. Ooh! My head!

    1. Trainshed Terry
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Have you both had the misfortune to bump into something at the same time?

    3. Crisis Rail

      Crisis Rail

      You should know.

  15. Granddad! You're a poo-poo head!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      is what my 4 year old grandson shouted when I told him that Captain Kernow ate all the sausages

    3. bgman

      bgman

      Hahahaha .... Quite right give the boy a bag of sweets ! Or a train set !!

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      You may inform the young gentleman that the Captain hasn't consumed any sausages for a little while, now.

  16. Family Tree Maker has encountered a problem and has to close.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Do you have relatives in Norfolk as well, Tim?

    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      ... quite possibly, they'd need to be able to count their toes though

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Life was hard in Leasingham 200 years ago. Long wait for the next train to Peterborough...

  17. Ee by gum! Black Pudding Bertha!

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      She's the queen of northern soul !!!

  18. 57 years ago tonight a young man may have said "Thank you Clearlake, we'll see you next year"

    1. M.I.B
    2. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      Not to mention Richie Vallens, The Big Bopper, and the pilot. Also it's very close to Mason City Iowa and its electric locos.

  19. My friend the witchdoctor, he told me what to do, he said that ...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. SHMD

      SHMD

      HB - What tune is that to?

       

      ^hpm - ..and is that the chorus?

       

    3. DonB

      DonB

      I'm just content with sticking pins in....

    4. highpeakman

      highpeakman

      Don Lang and the Frantic Five (1958 - when steam was still King)

  20. Inspector Barnaby has been called in to the Midsomer Model Railway Club to investigate the suspiscious death of the club chairman. Last time anyone saw him alive, he proposed that the club builds it's new layout to 00-SF 16.2mm gauge. There are several suspects on either side, for and against.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      I bet he was stabbed with a hot soldering iron.

    3. locoholic

      locoholic

      I think I've seen this one! As I recall, it wasn't murder, after all - he just died of shock when he finally saw a Dapol Class 29.

    4. Andrew F

      Andrew F

      Easy to determine to perp. It's never a coloured person and always one that smokes.

  21. Blimey this Lego Technic stuff is more complicated than P4 chassis ...

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      A very small mobile crane, which you seem to have to rotate various parts of in all directions. Finally completed with working worm drive lifting arm.

    3. Satan's Goldfish

      Satan's Goldfish

      First technic my boy built was bought for him by my cousin; a massive bulldozer! He stuck at it though through to completetion, 2 hrs combined work for me and him, it's about the only lego he hasn't broken up at a later date!

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      This one is tiny but caused intense pain!

      Picture here

      http://www.rmweb.co.uk/community/index.php?/topic/98846-lunester-asylum/page-76#entry2183106

       

      I don't know how long it will take him to dismante!

  22. Woah, I'm going to Barbados!

    1. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Actually I just read the letter again and it said "You are invited to Barnado's"

       

      Should have gone to specsavers...

    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Not going on Coconut Airways, then.

  23. Take your pick and your shovel and the bold dynamite For to shift a few tons of this earthly delight

    1. Captain Kernow
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Senokot should sort it (the natural way).

  24. Farewell Elm Tree, me old pal me old beauty

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