Aspergers - Adult Diagnosis

[laurenceb]

Remember we are here for support

[Mountain Goat]

I have not been assessed yet.

But something I will say is that it is very much a hidden condition, and it is also a condition that unless it is extremely obvious because the person does not have the ability to mask the symptoms, the person may not know that he or she may have it.

 I know I mask. I have spent a lifetime of masking! I also know I am different but before I found out about what autism (Aspergers is now classed as autism) actually is, I always assumed that I thought in the same ways but had a different upbringing that made me different. It never really crossed my mind that my mind could work in different ways to other people, but in regards to masking. I masked just to be able to connect with people and I always marvelled at others who seemed to be so good at masking that they could make friends just like that with hardly any effort... I thought that everybody masked. Little did I realize that most people don't mask!  I never knew it was called masking until recently though... But I did know what it was as I have been masking for years!

[laurenceb]

You sound just like me

[Mountain Goat]

At times taking things a bit to literal has got me into situations which are embarissing. Here is such an example I remember from my past. (I origionally wrote this in reply to something else so I just copied and pasted it to put it in here).

 

For me it has to be when I worked for a sports store as a bike mechanic/sales assistant. We started working in the retail chain store and they were still finishing off building it. I put my hands on a freshly painted surface... Which had to be repainted... That's how new it all was. We were all newly employed staff and speciffically chosen for the departments we were going to work in.
We were shown around. Part of this tour involved looking at the managers office where we were shown a phone which would dial out the store (Of all the phones in the store only three could dial externally). Near the phone was a fax machine which was about 2ft x 2ft by about 1 1/2ft high. It looked the size of the old desktop photocopiers they used to make in the 1980's. I had heard of fax machines but didn't actually know what they did, so rather then make myself seem stupid in front of everyone, I waited and then I asked a co-worker. He was a little younger then me but he seemed to know as he said "You can fax things to people".
Well, I had done computer studies at school which involved either Commodore Pets or the then new in BBC Micro...(Which we had to program in basic) And then in college I used the early forms of CAD CAM as by then technology was growing soo fast, and then I did a couple of years in a bike shop and then half a year as a postman... So in the four or so years I had been outside of the technical advances... Well. This fax machine seemed to have taken things to a new level! I absolutely marvelled at how advanced technology had become! "Wow! I just have to try this!" I thought to myself...
I quickly found myself being promoted to being in charge of the bicycle department as the lady who was in charge didn't know much about the mechanical side, but she was great at organizing, and she was promoted to be the new deputy manager which really suited her tallents.
Now in my new position, I quickly discovered that not only was our store new, but right round the country all the other stores on my list were also new, and so was our head office who also didn't really know what they were doing either! However, my nearest store on the list had taken advice from one store in Bristol about 100 miles away where they used to do the exact same thing and were the only store to be taken over , and the guys there found themselves doing the same things, even dealing with most of the same suppliers so they basically knew the ropes. The guy on the bike department was friendly so I was able to ask a few things... Anyway. For another reason I had phoned the head office and the guy there asked me a question to see if I knew something as he was learning... So I said I would try to find out. I phoned the Bristol store and asked and they had the answer, so I told the guy in charge of bikes the answer... And then it started to become hillarious. I had not told the head office I had rung the Bristol store to ask, so any questions the new 150+ stores located right round Britain and Northern Ireland had to the head office... They would pass on my store details and my name etc, and I would say I would phone them back... Ask Bristol... Phone them back with answers... I was speaking to so many different stores like this that I hardly had time to do my own work... I heard so many different accents from right round the UK... Haha! Eventually I thought it was much easier if they phones Bristol direct, but by then half the answers I knew the answers to... So things started to ease a little.

Now as we carried very few spare parts in store, any new bicycles which came in from the manufacturers with a damaged or broken part, I would choose a single bike that was the hardest to repair and take parts off that bike as it was far easier as a temporary measure. Now my manager asked about rhis bike and I said what I had done. It was an LTS which were made by Universal Cycles. My manager said to phone them up.
This was my first phone call in my official position as head of the bike department to one of the manufacturers, and I had it in my head that I should act professional on the phone, and besides, I wanted to give a good impression of myself as I will be contacting companies like this quite often in times to come. So I rang them up full of confidence (Masking as I actually tend to shy away from phones!.. So I had my "Official" mask on!) and was put through to the gentleman who was in charge of supplying parts. I explained the situation in my new found official voice... (Hehe! I chuckle thinking about it!) and the man said "Ok, I will send a lorry out to collect the bike"...
Well. I really wanted to impress and he had just given me an excuse to try something and impress the man at the same time... so I replied

"No worries. We have a FAX machine! I can "FAX" it to you!"

Well, you know when you get those silences on the other end of the phone where you have said or done something but can't quite make out what you have said or done....? Well, I had one of them untill the guy said "Ok. You do that then".
I then politely said my goodbyes and with hjs fax number in hand, I started wheeling the bike to the managers office.
Once I got the bike in the managers office, there wasn't a great deal of room. I picked the bike up in my hands and I stood there holding it in front of the fax machine. No sooner had I thought "How the... How are my going to fit this big adults bike inside that fax machine?" when the door opened and in came my manager who rather surprized said something that in a polite way means "What are you doing with that bike in my office?"
I told him I was faxing it to Universal cycles...
"You have not used a fax machine before have you?" he said... While I so wanted to say otherwize so I didn't feel stupid, but I had to admit that I had not used one before.
He then spent the next fifteen minutes explaining what it does and how to use it. Then it dawned on me..
I asked my manager "Umm. You couldn't phone Universal Cycles up for me to explain?". He smiled and said "No, that's your job!"
Wow. What an embarissing phonecall I then had to make.. I forgot about all the official masking.. I got through.
"Ummm. Tell you what. I think we're going to need that lorry after all!" I said and quickly ended the conversation! I was soo embarised!  
 

Edited June 9, 2020 by Mountain Goat

[Steamport Southport]

I don't know whether I should laugh. 

 

To be fair when Fax machines first came out I worked in very large offices at Ford's and there was a trick we used to play on the new staff, mostly school leavers. For some reason teenage girls used to fall for it more than anyone else.

 

The lads less so, maybe they were more aware of the jokes such as "go and ask for a long stand" and "get me a left handed screw driver".

 

We used to tell them that another office had ran out of paper and could you Fax them some...

 

We told them if you put a blank sheet in then it would appear at the other end. 

 

You could get away with it once or twice but if any of the managers got to know then it would be a disciplinary matter as ISTR using the Fax machine was very expensive at the time. So you had to stop them before they actually sent it.

 

 

 

Jason

[TheQ]

On 18/02/2020 at 18:52, Kickstart said:

Mmmmm, 44

 

But sometimes difficult to know as built up some coping mechanisms . Eg, when you have gone to 6 different schools you have to get used to meeting new people

 

All the best

 

Katy

Very similar, 5 schools, 12 RAF bases, worked for Six companies..and a score of 42...

[runs as required]

As a total Asperger i found the fax machine story very interesting. I’d been away in primitive up country locations for a decade - beyond even telephones.

I came back to find an even bigger nerd than me (who’d spent 5 years designing a new standard BR platform seat and other platform equipment e.g waste bins next to me in Kings + station) now in lucrative private practice from his west London flat working for the well heeled middle classes busy ‘gentrifying’ their W postal districts houses and restoring all the original details.

He showed me how easy it was faxing long continuous strips off to site for full size details like elaborate arts & crafts balustrades and newly posts, railings, ceiling cornices etrc.

[Mountain Goat]

Does anyone else have partial or full shutdowns? I get both. It was due to a lifetim of trying to find out what they were that I recently found I may be on the spectrum. 

[laurenceb]

If I am in crouded place I tend to close down, people will say "you walked past without answering when I spoke to you" nowadays I just tell them "give me a kick next time"

[Mountain Goat]

6 minutes ago, laurenceb said:

If I am in crouded place I tend to close down, people will say "you walked past without answering when I spoke to you" nowadays I just tell them "give me a kick next time"

 

Full shutdowns for me are where I end up on the floor and am no longer able to use my body. I go all floppy! I get loud tinitus which lowers in note as my eyesight dims and ends up black. My hearing does not seem to work either. Somehow I am concious and have an awareness of my surroundings, but it is a coma like state? I am also in a panic as I will first be having a partial shutdown and usually I can prevent a full shutdown by removing myself from what was triggering the event, but if I start going deeper into a shutdown because I have not been able to get to a safer quieter enviroment and away from the triggers, I will get a full shutdown. (I can write more details again about my experiences with full and partial shutdowns as I am just going to put my car in the barn and nip to the loo!).

[Mountain Goat]

3 hours ago, laurenceb said:

If I am in crouded place I tend to close down, people will say "you walked past without answering when I spoke to you" nowadays I just tell them "give me a kick next time"

 

Ooh. Could it also be a bit of prosopragnosia? 

 

However, I once had to walk through my local town centre on a busy day and I was panicing. So as I had to walk to the other end of the pedestrianized street I just looked forward and walked fast to get through the crowds, and all the people ended up like walls of a tunnel. They appeared flat to me like a flay wall, but it was tunnel shaped!

[laurenceb]

just had to look that up! dont know its more like not seeing people

[Mountain Goat]

29 minutes ago, laurenceb said:

just had to look that up! dont know its more like not seeing people

Prosopragnosia is faceblindness. My Mum and I have it but it is odd. We don't have it all the time, and when we get it we don't know always know unless the other person starts to talk to us and we are thinking "Who are you?" And this could be someone we know very well!

[Catkins]

I wonder how much the aspergers test score could be affected by another health issue?

 

I have depression, which I do occasionally suffer from, and I've just done the test and got 35.
 

I do struggle to make new friends, and I am normally quite happy on my own - which is good as I'm a truck driver - but when I'm in a social situation, I normally sit with my back to a wall, facing an exit, unless I'm with someone else that I know reasonably well.

As a child I had a fairly good imagination, and used to come up with stories that I'd tell myself all the time, now I'll have an idea for a model railway or nevawazz rolling stock.

[Ian J.]

There are many aspects of Autism that appear in other mental health conditions, so it's possible that a single test score could be 'right' for the 'wrong' reasons. That's why when assessing an individual, it's not just one test, it's several, and a considerable amount of talking on the part of the autistic person recounting their life. The assessor is trained to interpret all the material to come to a diagnosis.

[Mountain Goat]

I may have mentioned this before, but if I am on the spectrum, I will most likely be on the high functioning end which used to be known as aspergers syndrome, and if I am on the spectrum, something I will say is that autism can be a very hidden condition. If I am not on the spectrum then nothing much in my life makes sense to me, and I will be back to where I was before I knew anything about autism.

 

I used to believe that autism was some sort of severe dissability that severely effected people in a physical way so they were like vegetables and wheelchair bound. This is because when I saw autism on the news, they tended to centre on the most extreme cases, and I really feel for those who are in that condition.

 

I never knew that what I had was classed as a condition. I just thought I was a loner and different. It maybe that I am just a loner ad different? 

 

I am gessing until I am assessed. I wanted a yes or no answer! I want to know! 

 

 

[Mountain Goat]

I am concerned about something. Someone I know who I have not seen for a while committed suicide, and after he did, he was in a coma for about six months. He was then assessed and found to be on the autism spectrum. Now he had to give up model railways as I believe social workers advized him he had to give up?

I would rather not be assessed if I had to give up model railways as trains are my life! I think in trains. I love trains! Almost everythings trains! 

It is concerning.

[laurenceb]

Nobody has suggested that I give up railways and I would resist if they did

[Ian J.]

I can't think of a reason to have to give up any hobby, unless it's specifically damaging to the individual or those around them. That would then be a case-by-case assessment.

 

Regarding people on the news with severe autism, it used to be that the cases focussed on were those where the individuals concerned were 'autistic savants', who excelled in one skill exceptionally at the expense of everything else in their brain. They have to be looked after 24/7 as they can't look after themselves. However, the 'spectrum' is the more recent understanding of autism, coming from the work of Asperger. Although he himself has recently been discredited, his work still has merit and the spectrum has been the accepted understanding of autism for many years now.

[MarcD]

Neuro-diversity is a double edged sword. Most people dwell one the parts that appear to have been taken away. But what you have taken away is given back in other gifts. I have both Asperger's and Dyslexia. I was registered "disabled" when I was 21 at university, when my dyslexia was spotted. It was another 20 years before the Asperger's was picked up. I have never classed myself  disabled I think differently, but if the powers that want to throw cash and kit at me then I'm not going to stop them.

 

There are certain things I can't do so I don't try to do them. There are others that I excel in so I do them. For most things there are work a rounds.

 

My Wife was worried when I was first told that I might be on the spectrum but it was a relief when I was told it explained so much that had gone before. it opened my eyes to what else I could do and why I do other things.

 

The problem with most social worker and people "In charge" is that they don't have a clue about neuro-diversity as they have never experienced it. They think all people on the spectrum are the same they don't understand, how could they. They are not in the club. But there is a saying that if you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person. If I get stressed and tired my asperger's and dyslexia become more pronounced. If what you do doesn't harm anyone or yourself then there is no harm. (burning you fingers while soldering brass or wire doesn't could as self-harm) 

 

There is a very good podcast call 1800 seconds on autism on the BBC sounds App. 

 

Welcome to the club your only going up from here on in

Marc

 

[Stubby47]

As others are on the forum, I am a father of a lad with Autism.

 

He is classed as 'high functioning ', although he is unable to hold a conversation and replies in as few words as possible. 

I took the Baron-Cohen test linked to above and scored 21, but I don't find most social events pleasant ( the exception being model railway themed ones) and have a completely disorganised storage system where I know where everything is.

I think we are all on the spectrum to some degree, but we know our own mind best and should not allow others to dictate what we can or can't do.

 

And trying to fax a bicycle? If you don't know,  you don't know, but all the same, absolutely hilarious

Edited June 11, 2020 by Stubby47

[hayfield]

58 minutes ago, Furness Wagon said:

Neuro-diversity is a double edged sword. Most people dwell one the parts that appear to have been taken away. But what you have taken away is given back in other gifts. I have both Asperger's and Dyslexia. I was registered "disabled" when I was 21 at university, when my dyslexia was spotted. It was another 20 years before the Asperger's was picked up. I have never classed myself  disabled I think differently, but if the powers that want to throw cash and kit at me then I'm not going to stop them.

 

There are certain things I can't do so I don't try to do them. There are others that I excel in so I do them. For most things there are work a rounds.

 

My Wife was worried when I was first told that I might be on the spectrum but it was a relief when I was told it explained so much that had gone before. it opened my eyes to what else I could do and why I do other things.

 

The problem with most social worker and people "In charge" is that they don't have a clue about neuro-diversity as they have never experienced it. They think all people on the spectrum are the same they don't understand, how could they. They are not in the club. But there is a saying that if you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person. If I get stressed and tired my asperger's and dyslexia become more pronounced. If what you do doesn't harm anyone or yourself then there is no harm. (burning you fingers while soldering brass or wire doesn't could as self-harm) 

 

There is a very good podcast call 1800 seconds on autism on the BBC sounds App. 

 

Welcome to the club your only going up from here on in

Marc

 

 

Marc

 

I can empathise with you and if I look at various spectrums I can see traits which I also share. My spelling is awful, but I don't seem to suffer dyslexia. the more I read the better my spelling becomes. My wife reads all the time, she seems to spell by visual recognition, where as I spell by the sound of the word.

 

I enjoy my own company and am equally satisfied playing on my own as playing in a group (large or small). I love a party but am content not to join in some group activities.

 

I am not very artistic and see colours differently to my wife who is very artistic, but I am not colour blind. I am very practical (DIY etc) and in some ways a problem solver.

 

When at work I could look forward and foresee issues with rotas, or quickly formulate a solution to a problem. Something many with far more qualifications either could not see or would be far slower resolving.

 

When I was at school Special Needs did not exist, many excelled educationally, lots of others found the ability to excel practically. I have come to understand we are all different and just need the guidance to use the gifts we have.

 

 

[Talltim]

I’ve just done the Aspergers test from the beginning of the thread and remembered that I had done it before. I scored 15, however my wife claims that my autism makes me take the questions too literally and not answer them correctly. The one about collecting facts and figure about categories of things was especially contentious, I say I’m not really bothered about the facts and figures if railways, it’s all about the visceral emotions for me.

 

 

Edited June 11, 2020 by Talltim

[Mountain Goat]

I found when at school that... Well. In the words of a Maths teacher who taught me, my Dad, and both my brothers (Youngest brother is 18 years younger... I think he was one of those Maths teachers who has always been there and does not age?

But he was saying to my parents on a parents evening while in secondary school "I don't understand it. I can go through a certain maths subject with him and he totally gets it and can do everything. But the next maths lesson he comes to he has totally forgotton how to do it and I have to start all over again. 

 

Subjects I could not "Latch onto" I found hard going like that, and in Maths, if I had to go into deep thought, my mind would turn to my inner brain which seems to work in pictures, so I would do maths by patterns of dots in my mind, which were not always in base 10, so any mistakes I made were usually because I was working in a different base and had not converted it over, as I would be working in more then one base in my mind at the same time according to the pattern dots I am using for each series of numbers... So I used to get the answers and usually they were right, but no way could I show the workings out! I would often get the answers and have to work backwards and try to make the "official workings out" match my answer so I could get the extra workings out marks for exams. Maths teachers would often be puzzled as they would ask me how I got the answers and I could not tell them because it is only recently that I happened to be thinking back about things, and talking with my Mum and she said "No wonder it takes you so long to add up or take away in your head! It was only then when she said how she did sums in her head that we compared. She converts numbers to their written form like five, six, seven etc, and then she does the sums all in written form in her head. She could read and write by the age of two and a half and by the age of six she had read many... If not most of the adults books of the small local library where she grew up.

Now the last exam I did was a re-sit while on employment training (One may as well get the most of tese scemes and what they offer) and I had left collage, (Worst time of my life as I had the whole class turn against me so it was 25 to 1, so I didn't do so well with exams. My mind was on rushing each exam to get a quick exit so I would not end up Bulleid... Hence why I call it collage and not college as the work just went in one eye and out the other as my focus was on surival from one day to the next...), I then started to work at a local bicycle shop and he had not expected to have an extra worker so he managed to pull some strings and have me there on an employment training placement (I had nothing else to do in my life and I loved working with bicycles... My secondary special interest). So I was told I had the chance to resit either Maths or English. But they could only offer me the "C" paper as the highest rade. I wanted to get an A paper bt te whole of my county did not offer any A grade papers for night classes. I ended up being content with a C grade with a 100% exam result proving I can do maths when I get the system of doing it to work in my head... But to do this and do it the "Official way", I can't let my mind go into "Deep thinking mode" as then it goes into using the "Patterns of picture dots" method that I often use.

[Mountain Goat]

2 hours ago, Talltim said:

I’ve just done the Aspergers test from the beginning of the thread and remembered that I had done it before. I scored 15, however my wife claims that my autism makes me take the questions too literally and not answer them correctly. The one about collecting facts and figure about categories of things was especially contentious, I say I’m not really bothered about the facts and figures if railways, it’s all about the visceral emotions for me.

 

 

 

I have tried a few of those online tests before. 

 

I had these results. 

 

Neurodiverse 173/200 

Neurotypical 21/200

Empathy 11/80

AQ 39 or 41.

 

(When I answered truthfully but with a trying not to be on the spectrum slant as I accidentally found myself doing the same test twice), and AQ 41 when I was still answering truthfully but I leaned on the side of having autism. (One or two questions one can see through so it can alter the results, so I decided when I realized I was repeating the test I had done before to have a different "Take" on my answers to see what the results would be.

The test that gave me the neurodiverse and neurotypical results, was good because I could not tell where the questions were going, so all I did was answer them, and it ae me the above results.

I had actually done the AQ test before those two times (About two or three years before)  with an ex. Girlfriend who had me try it (She was on the spectrum and I was trying her patience because I wanted to know what being an aspie was as she was on the spectrum, and when she described traits she had I was saying "But that's normal" (I had not caught on then that I could be on the spectrum as well), and in frustration she had me take the test when I jokingly mentioned that I could be on the spectrum as well (I was not being serious. It was my humour!) and I had a result of 32 because I have a limited vocabulary and I was not given a chance to look up what the meanings of words mean, so anything I did not know what it means, I answered "No" and this includes some things I later found out I do have or do. (Eg I asked what stimming was and the ex GF said "Rocking back and fore" so I answered "No". Many of the terms the ex. GF did not know either so I had to answer "No" which I later found I should have answered "Yes" to.

The result did say to see a health professional or a doctor. This concerned me but due to every time I saw my doctor to ask, I kept clamming up with mind blank so it was two years later (Long story) when I was determined to find out and expected a "Yes/no" answer from the doctor... Uhmmm. Since then I have been on the list for an assessment.

 

The "Empathy" test really puzzled me. I honestly (No point in trying to explain as many others have tried) can't get my mind to tell the difference between sympathy and empathy, but I know I tend to be very sympathetic, but I just can't understand the difference,as to me the two blend in as one and in my mind I can't seperate them somehow? Yes, I can word for word repeat the differences if someone tells me, but somehow my mind can't process it in a way I can make sense of it?

But the empathy results really surprized me as I really expected to score high but I did not. And I just don't understand it!

 

 

Edit. I am not sure the AQ test I have done is the same as the one at the start of this thread. The one I took twice was marked out of 50, the score being 50 meant one was 100% autistic and 0 meant one was 100% allistic (Two very rare conditions which some say don't exist, though someone on an autiam site I am on said he had a 100% score when assessed?)

on the test I took which was to designed give one an idea as to if it is a good idea to be assessed or not, 30 or above was considered that someone needs to be assessed as one is likely to be on the autism spectrum. 

so my scores of 39 and 41 mean that I am likely to be on the spectrum and I could do with being assessed. 

Edited June 11, 2020 by Mountain Goat