Things that make you :)

[manna]

G'day Gents

[Sidecar Racer]

[2mmMark]

One of the great things about online shopping is the discounted prices.

 

[newbryford]

30-things-northerners-will-forever-confuse-southerners/

 

So the north is the north and the south is the south. Where the hell are the Midlands and when does the north and south divide start? Where do the midlands stand in this argument? They just need to pick a side and stop sitting on the fence.

1. Chips & gravy.

Because apparently, some southerners, have said they don’t get gravy on their chips. Curry = boring. Red sauce = boring. And the fact they’re baffled when we get chips, cheese and gravy just breaks my heart. Do they not realise what they’re missing out on?!

via/google 2. The lingo.

Londoners have cockney rhyming slang, the Cornish have, well, we don’t actually know but they sound foreign to me, so on and so on. But up north you can pop in a taxi 15 minutes down’t road and the people will have a completely different accent and they’ll use their own slang words.

via/google 3. Smiling at strangers.

Not all of us are as friendly as we make out, I know some right grumpy tw*ts from up north, but in general, we’re much friendly than southerners. Say if you’re going for a walk with your dog, people will walk past you and smile, or say hello even. When you’re down south and you even dare to sit near someone on the tube, they look at you with sheer disgust as if you’ve just p*ssed all over their shoes or something.

via/google 4. Bread.

Is it a cake? Is it a roll? Is it a barm? WHO THE F*CK KNOWS. Who actually gives a sh*t? If you go into ASDA or Tesco in the midlands though that’s a whole new arguement, I’m pretty sure they’ve just made names up for things there hahaha!

via/google 5. The fact that every southerner we meet we think are “posh”.

They are to us when you’re used to hearing a Yorkshire accent all day every day. Whenever you meet a bunch of southerners on holiday they automatically sound posh to us and we automatically sound like Peter Kay to them.

via/google 6. Going out on a night out in winter with no coat on.

We’ve all been guilty of doing it when we can’t find a coat that suits our outfit we just brave the cold, but it seems so much worse when we’re from up north because it’s a GOOD 7 degrees colder than it is down south. We’re just built to brave the cold aren’t we.

via/google 7. Calling an alley a ginnel.via/google

Yes, that is the correct way. Mardy is the Yorkshire word for moody and canny is the Newcastle way of saying great. It might sound funny to southerners, but I’m pretty sure cockney rhyming slang and cornish words are a load of b*llocks too.

via/google 8. The cities are usually way better. Everyone who’s from down south thinks that the North looks like this.

When people think of England, they instantly think of London. But what about Manchester? the cool, bustling (mini London) if you like. Newcastle’s the ‘going out’ city of England. And York is just historic and beautiful. Oh, and there’s no forgetting about Glasgow and Edinburgh, yes they’re in Scotland but they’re up North and GREAT cities – not forgetting Leeds, Sheffield and Liverpool.

via/google 9. Tea is more than just a drink.

Well, I’m a northerner and I don’t actually drink tea, but it is more than just a drink up here. It’s just the usual question you ask someone when they enter your house “Want a brew?” “OF COURSE!” Yorkshire tea bags are just divine.

via/google 10. The rivalries.via/google

Manchester VS Liverpool. Yorkshire VS Lancashire. Newcastle VS Sunderland and that’s not even including Scotland, that’s a whole new ball game. Everyone hates each other really when it comes to sports, but if anyone dares to insult us northerners then they can f*ck off too.

via/google 11. The fact that a pint up here doesn’t cost your monthly wage.

You can afford to go out for four/five pints & not just one. You don’t have to get a mortgage out just to get a pint down your local. I’ve had to dip into my savings a few too many times when I’ve had a night out down south. Let’s face it everything up north is just better isn’t it.

via/google 12. You think your accent is quite unnoticeable but everyone down south basically thinks you’re Peter Kay.

I just thought I had a normal Manc accent but as soon as I meet people from down south, that’s when the mocking starts. The constant repeating of what I’m saying in a stupid broad Yorkshire accent, because that’s the only one they can replicate. I suppose it’s just as annoying when northerners meet someone from say Bristol and we come out with “You sound like you’re from LANDAAAAAAAN.” B*llends.

via/google 13. How proud we are of being northern.

If you’re daaaaaaaan saaaaaaaf and someone insults the north, wellllllllll, they’ll be getting a good talking to. Southerners seem to think it’s like Shameless up north, everyone lives on council estates, drinks beer throughout the day and gets into fights on the regular apparently.

via/google 14. Scraps.

If the fact they don’t eat gravy with their chips isn’t bad enough, you southerners don’t have scraps. WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU EVEN EAT WITH YOUR CHIPS YOU DEMONS. If it’s not gravy, not scraps or cheese what is it?

via/google 15. The fact we still brave it on a night out when there’s pretty much a hurricane.

For us northerners, it’s like a little sprinkle of rain, even if there’s slight flooding, it’s nothing to panic about….southerners however, FREAK OUT. When we go on our holidays I think we appreciate it so much more, because we get about 2 weeks of good weather a year and then that’s it, it’s rainy.

via/google 16. The fact you can walk around at your own pace.via/google

You basically get swept up in a hoover of people when you step foot in London, if you don’t walk at everybody else’s pace then expect to be trampled on. There is no chance of having a casual stroll anywhere in London. Either walk fast or die.

via/google 17. Oh and personal space.

You can go on public transport up here and not have someone practically dribbling on your neck because they’re so close to you. Even in Manchester & Leeds, the two busiest Northern cities. You get on the tube around London and you’ve got to literally glue your hangbag and hold on to any of your clothing and belongings so someone doesn’t pick pocket you, they’re so close to you on the tube that you can feel their breath on your cheek. EW.

via/google 18. Greggs.

The fact we act like Greggs is an acceptable meal for lunch. It is and it always will be. Sausage rolls from Greggs are undeniably BEAUTIFUL. You know that the sausage is probably dog meat, but it’s so damn good.

via/google 19. “Duck, Cock, Love.”

All of those words might sound offensive to people down south, but up North they’re just names you call each other, especially older people. “Areet cocker.” It really just depends on where you’re from up north too because there are SO many different dialects and words used. Is it like that down south?

via/google 20. The fact we live in minus temperatures half the year and it rains almost nonstop. Winter coats are a must even in August sometimes.

I went down to London once in February all wrapped up prepared for the same weather as in Manchester and it was MARJINALY warmer. I mean the sun was out, there was no snow and I went out with a light jacket. You lot don’t know you’re born, do you!

via/google 21. We don’t hate strangers.

I’m not sure what it is, I have plenty of friends from down south and they’re lovely and friendly, but as a whole were just a nicer bunch up north aren’t we. Considering our sh*t weather you’d think northerners were supposed to be the grumpier ones.

via/google 22. Calling lunch DINNER.

Why? It’s just a northern thing. “I’m off for my dinner.” It’s just the norm really. What do you call it?

via/google   23. And calling dinner TEA.

It’s the Northern way & it’s also the right way. Tea time isn’t a gathering in your living room drinking cups of tea it’s an evening meal.

via/google 24. Cheesy chips.

The only acceptable meal for a Friday night….no no, I’m joking, obviously it’s not, but if you ask for cheesy chips in a takeaway shop down south, they look at you as if you’ve just spat on them. DO THEY NOT REALISE WHAT THEY’RE MISSING OUT ON?! And with a bit of gravy dribbled on from the chippy OH EM GEE. Cheesy chips are the reason I can never get the holiday body I want.

via/google 25. ‘Angin’…’Mingin’…’Chuffin’.

Up North we just seem to describe things in a blunter way. There’s no beating around the bush really….we say it how it is. If somethings good up north, it’s beltin’. If somethings bad up north it’s w*nk. If somethings gross it’s angin…you get the gist.

via/google 26. A number of chippies per mile there actually have.

You really can’t drive a mile down the road without going past about 7 chippies on the way. Even if you don’t eat chippy that much, it’s just nice to know that you’re never further than a stone’s throw away from a chippy.

via/google 27. Prices.

Go in Tesco down south and pay a five for a butty. Up north, you can get a meal deal for three quid, so who’s the real winner there ey? I mean I know Manchester might be a mini London but paying £7 in a bog standard pub for a glass of wine is a bit over the top isn’t it. You need to get a loan of just to go for a few bevs down the local in London.

via/google 28. Cheeky vimtos.

I mean, I’m not even sure if the rest of the North grew up drinking cheeky vimtos, but I’m pretty sure they did. If you’re in your 20s and you don’t know what one of these things are, have you even had a childhood? They’re cheap and they taste damn good.

via/google 29. The orangeness.

I’m pretty sure this is a northern thing really. Apart from the Essex lot, were much more orange up north.

via/google

How can we go out on a night out without coating ourselves in a bit of St Tropez? It is a must when you’re paler than a sheet of paper. See, our Tanya from The Real Housewives of Cheshire is a prime example.

via/google 30. The fact we drink alcohol like it’s water.via/google

It might not be a fact, but northerners can definitely hold there drink more than southerners. All-dayers in town boozing = NO PROBLEM.

 

 

 

Cheers,

Mick

[Horsetan]

^^
Is it my imagination, or does the above post have a bit of a chip fixation?

[DougN]

Horse, I think you could be right.

 

As I am a little further south I just get to giggle at this lot..... well we have better weather, beaches, space, killer spiders,snakes, sharks, cassowaries, crocodiles, Oh hang on you didn't mean that far south.  

 

Yeah what is this thing of gravy and cheese. My local Uni pub the specialty was bolognese chips ... as you might guess it was spaghetti bolognese hold the spag and add Chips.... must admit they were pretty good with a beer. 

[Horsetan]

Horse, I think you could be right.

 

As I am a little further south I just get to giggle at this lot..... well we have better weather, beaches, space, killer spiders,snakes, sharks, cassowaries, crocodiles, Oh hang on you didn't mean that far south.  

 

Yeah what is this thing of gravy and cheese. My local Uni pub the specialty was bolognese chips ... as you might guess it was spaghetti bolognese hold the spag and add Chips.... must admit they were pretty good with a beer. 

 

Y'know, the one thing I never managed to get hold of when I visited Australia was a pie floater. Even today it's a thing of mystery to me.

[bluebottle]

Daughter Helen found herself in something like a North vs South situation when she went to FE college - and that was just a bus ride from Wadsley Bridge here in the northern Sheffield suburbs down to leafy Norton in the south. Them southerners got the rough edge of her tongue for asking her what it was like to live among the Chavs ...   

[DougN]

Y'know, the one thing I never managed to get hold of when I visited Australia was a pie floater. Even today it's a thing of mystery to me.

Oh its a South Australian thing..... Not Victorian, NSW Queensland... must admit I have never had one or wish too.... just doesn't do it for me !

[manna]

G'day Gents

 

Nor me, and I live in SA. Horrible things........Mushy Peas.

[bluebottle]

G'day Gents

 

Nor me, and I live in SA. Horrible things........Mushy Peas.

 

 

Not being that way inclined, I'd rather bait the trap with a glass of bubbly and drink the beer while I waited for a bite.

[MarcD]

You would need more beer to catch a northern male. And Beer is served in Pints not bottles what's that all about?

 

Marc

[TheQ]

You would need more beer to catch a northern male. And Beer is served in Pints not bottles what's that all about?

 

Marc

Newky Brown ?

 

You would need more beer to catch a northern male. And Beer is served in Pints not bottles what's that all about?

 

Marc

Newky Brown ?

 

[Enterprisingwestern]

Daughter Helen found herself in something like a North vs South situation when she went to FE college - and that was just a bus ride from Wadsley Bridge here in the northern Sheffield suburbs down to leafy Norton in the south. Them southerners got the rough edge of her tongue for asking her what it was like to live among the Chavs ...   

 

The biggest North/South divide is undoubtedly in Sheffield, from the sensible Blades supporting southerners to the rather rude barbaric,and baby eating Pig supporters in the north.

When two Escafeldians meet the first question is usually "what colour?", from the answer all other discussion continues or doesn't.

 

Mike.

[melmerby]

Newky Brown ?

 

newcastle-brown-ale-500x5001.jpg

No self respecting Geordie would drink that!

 

It's Northern beer for Southerners!

 

Keith

[wollastonblue]

Newky Brown ?

 

newcastle-brown-ale-500x5001.jpg

Newky Brown ?

 

newcastle-brown-ale-500x5001.jpg

 

Shouldn't it be called Tadcaster Brown now?

 

Chips and Gravy I get, but not with cheese. As an established midlander it has to be Curry Sauce on the old chips, preferable Orange Battered Chips on a Cob!

[TheQ]

No self respecting Geordie would drink that!

 

It's Northern beer for Southerners!

 

Keith

A lot of the locals drank that when I lived that way.... oooh errr 30 years ago.. never liked the stuff meself

[melmerby]

A lot of the locals drank that when I lived that way.... oooh errr 30 years ago.. never liked the stuff meself

My missus is from Geordie stock and none of her Gateshead relatives will touch the stuff!

 

Keith

[Jol Wilkinson]

Mick,

 

as someone brought up in the Midlands, then went south to start a career that involved living and working in England, Wales, Scotland and (briefly) Ireland, I think your extensive post contains some serious errors.

 

You  appear to be a supporter of  "The North", but I don't recall seeing any mention of "Pies", or did I miss something. Or is the blonde having an in the video clip eating one?

 

Firstly, the picture of a pint of "beer" would appear to be something called "lager", a fizzy, sour tasting concoction of p*ss foisted upon the stupid members of this nation by the colonials and continentals. Proper beer is available from Adnams of Southwold among many others. However your admission to liking Vimto as a younger person shows you were badly influenced as a child. You should have been brought up on Ginger Beer or Dandelion and Burdock, which may have helped you develop a better palate. 

 

Chips should be taken with salt to bring out the flavour. Vinegar causes sogginess, but a pickled onion for contrasting sharpness and a proper "crunch" should be mandatory.The addition of gravy is acceptable as a cultural aberration in some regions, but the addition of cheese (something the Yanks seem to do with all and any food) is definitely not on.

 

You can walk slowly in London, just go off the beaten track, especially around the City at the weekend. You also get to see some great old architecture, cosy pubs, etc.

 

We should rejoice in our regional heritage. However that is something we have largely and willingly given up, through our wholesale adoption of other cultures food and drink and a seeming desire to ignore, and deride old traditions. I would love to see the English rugby team  do a Morris Dance in response to  the All Black's Haka. 

 

Greggs went down the pan when they stopped doing a really decent custard slice (that's a sort of Mille Feulle for the southerners). Martins Bakery in Ipswich does far better stuff than the Greggs several doors along, a good example of a local, established, business beating a "corporate" chain. They also do great "batches", but I never know whether to ask for a barm, batch or a bap. 

 

You have also not recognised that all day drinking - like the All Day Breakfast (something of an oxymoron) - is a national activity. It has been strongly supported by national pub chains, such as Wetherspoons, who look beyond any local boundaries in their dedicated search to help people drink too much.

 

 "Housewives of Cheshire" (or whatever) is presumably as ghastly as TOWIE in presenting people with orange skin and too much money as having some sort of intelligence. Such programmes should not be tolerated but replaced by serious depictions of real people such as East Enders ,Coronation Street, etc.

 

Jol

 

happy to have had a Yorkshire father, Scottish mother, been brought up in Rugby, and now living in Suffolk. Enjoyed Bucks, Shropshire, Northants and Dublin, but I'd prefer not to think about when I lived in Essex and Sussex.

[Horsetan]

My missus is from Geordie stock and none of her Gateshead relatives will touch the stuff!...

Is it not Gateshead that often emphasises that it's not Newcastle?

[eastwestdivide]

"Chips 'n Gravy" may well be a Welsh word. Don't know how you spell it in Welsh, but I was waiting in the car to pick up my other half somewhere in Cheltenham I think, and twiddling round the radio, I found a Welsh-language phone-in, so I listened for a while. No idea what they were on about, but the only word that my ears picked up on was "Chips 'n Gravy", numerous times, usually followed by peals of laughter. 

 

As for the north-south thing - my username was based on that idea. Having moved the south of England to S Yorks, I thought the nearby Pennines would be a suitable basis for an east-west divide.

I still get mistaken for posh occasionally, and my accent remains a southern one, but occasionally I'll find myself using a northern turn of phrase.

[chris p bacon]

 I would love to see the English rugby team  do a Morris Dance in response to  the All Black's Haka. 

 

 

Especially in the style of  "Dark Morris" courtesy of T Pratchett.

 

So many seemed to have moved about, I sleep in the room I was born in.....but then, there really isn't anything outside of Bedfordshire worthy of note...

Edited August 22, 2017 by chris p bacon

[Horsetan]

..... I would love to see the English rugby team  do a Morris Dance in response to  the All Black's Haka.....

 

Something like this, maybe:

 

[The Blue Streak]

Y'know, the one thing I never managed to get hold of when I visited Australia was a pie floater. Even today it's a thing of mystery to me.

 

Probably did yourself a favour, by missing out Horse.

 

Oh its a South Australian thing..... Not Victorian, NSW Queensland... must admit I have never had one or wish too.... just doesn't do it for me !

 

Never seen one escape into WA either. Thank goodness for border security

 

G'day Gents

 

Nor me, and I live in SA. Horrible things........Mushy Peas.

 

Even you Croweaters don't want 'em then Manna. That says it all

[TheQ]

My greatest sympathy for you having moved to South Yorks, where SWMBO is from, she still speaks of Ginnels etc, which in Norfolk speak would be a loke.

 

Having been persecuted myself at school, in the highlands, for having a posh English accent, when it was proper job west country, is really quite strange...

 

They held a national poetry competion in Scotland for those at school who felt themselves persecuted. They were expecting mostly entries from those of a different colour than pale blue frozen Scots. However most entries were from English children...

 

SWMBO like gravy with her chips I don't,

 

Woodfords is the Beer of choice round here, but  I prefer cider or Whisky.

 

 I think I've had 28 bed rooms in my life (excluding lots of hotel rooms and the occasional hospital), but ground to a halt 15 years ago.