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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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26 minutes ago, proton said:

I would advise caution driving too fast into the garage - the force of the collision might create local black holes at the points of impact, potentially consuming the entire car...

 

PBM

Mission accomplished then! The car gets compressed into an infinitesimal volume and easily fits into any storage space.

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2 hours ago, proton said:

I would advise caution driving too fast into the garage - the force of the collision might create local black holes at the points of impact, potentially consuming the entire car...

 

PBM

Try telling that to your insurance company.

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2 hours ago, proton said:

I would advise caution driving too fast into the garage - the force of the collision might create local black holes at the points of impact, potentially consuming the entire car...

 

PBM

Or wrecking a few Deltics! 😢

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10 hours ago, LimboBrit said:

 

My garage is a few centimeters too short to get the car in. I tried driving in at great speed to see if it would fit. It didn't end well!

The problems there are that the Lorentz–FitzGerald contraction stops working when you put the brakes on. 

 

And it only has an significant effect when the object in motion is  travelling close to the speed of light. 

 

So, it's only observable by constant-acceleration interstellar starships.

 

And BMWs in 30 mph zones.

Edited by CameronL
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47 minutes ago, Kylestrome said:

???

 

I took your yawn to indicate that you were unamused by special relativity jokes - which is surprising as they can include some of the best physics jokes around - but Kevin assumed you were expressing weariness at BMW diver jokes and assumed that to be because you yourself are a BMW driver. Does that adequately explain the joke?

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23 hours ago, LimboBrit said:

 

My garage is a few centimeters too short to get the car in. I tried driving in at great speed to see if it would fit. It didn't end well!

 

My wife reversed the car out of the garage the other day.

 

Problem was - I had previously reversed it in................

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3 hours ago, Kylestrome said:


???

Your yawn came after the comment, about BMW drivers. So I linked the two.

 

If I'm wrong, perhaps you ought to have explained your yawn!

Edited by kevinlms
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Thinking about it, this all explains the myth that BMW drivers don't use the indicators. They do, it's just that they're driving away from you so quickly that the light from the indicators is red-shifted out of the visible spectrum.

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1 hour ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

An oldie:

 

Why couldn’t the steam loco sit down?

 

Because it had a tender behind!

 

Why did it have a tender behind?

 

It passed a telegraph pole.

 

How did it pass a telegraph pole?

 

With a good s train.

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