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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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10 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said:

 

I think evolving is apposite, evolution works both ways!

 

Mike.

Yes - maybe I should have used the word improving, but that is totally the wrong word.  

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39 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said:

 

Bagpipes for downstairs IMHO.

 

Not if it gets all the Scots there too fired up to the point of taking over the place...

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Father used to maintain [I always blame him] that the definition of a gentleman, was someone who knew how to play the Mouth-organ.....

 

 

.....   and didn't!

 

[You can edit in any of your own "instruments" of torture.]

 

Julian

 

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6 hours ago, Gopher said:

Hi Gibbo - I agree. 

 

The PILs (Patient Information leaflets) you get with medication always make interesting (or scary) reading.  Don't get me started on the way our society is going.  I'd like to say evolving but somehow that does not feel like the correct word.   

   

Hi Gopher,

 

This link might help:

 

https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/evolve?s=t

 

Gibbo.

 

 

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1 hour ago, jcredfer said:

Father used to maintain [I always blame him] that the definition of a gentleman, was someone who knew how to play the Mouth-organ.....

 

 

 

 

I thought that the definition of a gentleman was somebody who supported his weight on his elbows.

Bernard

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17 hours ago, Sarahagain said:

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Towyn?

 

A lovely day, we had lunch on the way, and all for under a pound, you know....

 

And on the way back, I cuddled with Jack, and we opened a bottle of cider....

 

Oh it makes me feel ill when I think on the mill, and the wheels going 'round....

 

;)

 

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/OMNssdX_2gk?t=69

 

I'll just leave this here, no need to thank me.

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1 hour ago, Bernard Lamb said:

I thought that the definition of a gentleman was somebody who supported his weight on his elbows.

Bernard

It is clearly defined in BR coach toilets as one who 'lifts the seat'.  There was back in my spotting days an LNWR convenience on Preston station that had a cast notice advising that a Gentleman is one who adjusts his dress before leaving, and there are clubs in town for that sort of thing...

 

Re instruments to be played in Hell, may I nominate the harpsichord.  Nasty, tinny little things, get a proper piano...

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