Boris
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Status Updates posted by Boris
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The Border Sausage War
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Faster than the speed of shite
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Dreamed I was chased by a giant rabbit with the face of Donald Trump and he had a GWR roundel tattoo on his head. I must stop eating cheese before sleeping!
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Question of the day (on another group) "Are there any books that are nice about the SS?" What do they teach people in school these days?
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Let's think:
The Gestapo were put out of business once the war had ended - that's reasonably positive.
Some of their more fanatical thugs were also permanently put out of business a few months later - guests of honour at their own "neck tie parties" - that's also positive.
As for the Gestapo - what they stood for - and the atrocities they carried out - nothing positive can be said about them.
Same about the scum that hired them.
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Has decided a Revolution is required at RMweb. Therefore I am putting the washing machine on to spin, 1200 Revolutions per minute ought to satisfy most people.
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Read an amusing account of someone getting their "wiley" out on a train. Now if only I knew what a wiley was and where to get one!
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feels the need to draw a carrot and two petit pois in the dust
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Intercourse with biscuits
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is thinking... man who scratch bum, should not bite fingernails!
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MYTH: An owls neck can turn through 180 degrees. FACT: An owls neck can turn through 840 degrees and then its head comes off in your hand
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Bloody owls! It's quite weird they way they can maintain eye contact even in the microwave...
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Well that escalated quickly - marmite now selling on ebay for £20+ for a 125g jar!
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has made a sensible none toilet post and now requires a long lie down
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Wife been going on for weeks about wanting a "flatcap" on the back door, so I bought one, installed a peg and hung it on the door. Apparently she was "being cute and want a cat flap"!!!!!
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back to my local model railway club tonight - don't think I'll be allowed back for another 5 years after what I did the their toilet
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If you stick something far enough up your arse it will mess with your head
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SMEGHEAD
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No, I am going to struggle to blame that one on the cat
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the increasing use of weaponised underpants
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Model railways are becoming very much like organised religion - we're getting more concerned with the smell of the soap rather than how clean it gets you.
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How come we can talk about Mrs Slocombes minge, but we can't talk about her pu55y?
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All our pets are flushable
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has got wood and is letting nobody touch his wood. In fact, has wood, designs and a cunning plan....
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