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Horsetan

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Status Updates posted by Horsetan

  1. Horsetan

    is looking for plastic toilet seat hinges, as the office ones are kaput

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Have you thought of cashing-in on your current conundrum, and inventing a new Winter sport, involving slippery toilet seats, lots of snow and a bobsleigh run?

       

    3. highpeakman

      highpeakman

      Should be no problem seeing the run using CKs idea!

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      CK already does this in Voyagers, I understand....

  2. Horsetan

    has been doing accidental acrobatics with his horse outside the Bedford Arms in Chenies. #sunday #liquidlunch

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. DougN

      DougN

      I am sooo.... worried about Horsetan.....

    3. DougN

      DougN

      You know your not getting any younger

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Neither is the horse.

  3. Horsetan

    has been watching a recording of Black Sabbath's final performance of "Paranoid". To see Ozzy shuffling up and down stage, I dunno. Probably best to remember him as he was, not as he is. #ageconcern

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. chris p bacon

      chris p bacon

      Whatever you do, don't play your tv backwards .....man....

    3. 45059

      45059

      Who said that!!?

    4. bgman

      bgman

      It all that heavy metal in his boots wot duz it !

  4. Horsetan

    is waiting to see if iceberg lettuces, broccoli and courgettes make it onto eBay: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38851097

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. thaddeus

      thaddeus

      salad... in February... nope

    3. BoD

      BoD

      Eat Blueberry muffins and lemon drizzle cake. There's two of your five. And wine is made from grapes........

    4. rembrow

      rembrow

      Shredded turnip anyone?

  5. Horsetan

    is waiting to see if iceberg lettuces, broccoli and courgettes make it onto eBay: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38851097

  6. Horsetan

    has had enough of IHT forms. #tax #doesn'thavetobetaxing

    1. 60159

      60159

      Iniquitous - a tax on tax and a tax on the prudent. Stuff their forms

    2. davefrk

      davefrk

      And 60159 should know, he's a very taxing person fae Perth.

  7. Horsetan

    has had another client drop dead. This is starting to become a habit :-(

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      So what happened? Did he see Bachmann's latest RRP's?

    3. 60159

      60159

      The sight of a solicitors fee note can be traumatic

    4. vitalspark

      vitalspark

      Aye but not enough to make you want to give it another go!

  8. Horsetan

    is watching "The Monuments Men" again.

    1. bgman

      bgman

      Snap :)

    2. davefrk

      davefrk

      I thought it was pretty good and a true story too. 5 million pieces of art recovered wow.

    3. davefrk

      davefrk

      Of course, a true story told in Hollywood stylee.

  9. Horsetan

    has just discovered there's a firearms officer in the National Crime Agency named....Martin Finney!

  10. Horsetan

    has had some money back from HMRC. :-O Shurely shome mishtake?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Kylestrome

      Kylestrome

      Just consider it as a loan.

    3. Bernard Lamb

      Bernard Lamb

      They seem to be sending them out by the barrow load. Just wait until the new tax code comes out next month and they want it plus more back.

    4. adb968008

      adb968008

      I just paid more in tax today than some earn.

  11. Horsetan

    highly recommends Elnett hairspray. #firmhold

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. DougN

      DougN

      Anything but the comb over...wear it with pride!

    3. Londontram

      Londontram

      Does it smell of horse as it comes out the can is that it?

    4. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      It made my trees smell like a ladies boudoir. Quite nice really.

  12. Horsetan

    found the outdoor arena surface frozen solid. Horse looks pleased at not having to do any exercise tonight. #quietnightin #hoovesup

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. vitalspark

      vitalspark

      ..preferable to the other sort though.

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      I once cracked a window with frozen poo...

    4. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      I almost asked how you may have managed to do that, Ivan, but just almost... oO

  13. Horsetan

    finds that the car handles more evenly after the NSF balance weight fell off yesterday.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Depends what you mean by "fast". I generally don't exceed 60mph on motorways. When the wheels were previously "balanced", there was a noticeable steering shake when braking. Now, not so much.

    3. Tony_S

      Tony_S

      That would suggest the previous balance was faulty.

    4. Tony_S

      Tony_S

      And/or your brake discs are in need of replacement.

  14. Horsetan

    has just had the balance weight fall off the NSF wheel of the car. That was clever.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      Where there's blame, there's a claim!

    3. skipepsi

      skipepsi

      Stop kerbing it you young hooligan.

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Booked in for rebalancing tomorrow afternoon *sighs*

  15. Horsetan

    reckons Estremoz would be a good place to lose your marbles #regionaljoke

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Is there some marble championship there, then?

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      More than you'd ever know, CK....

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Well, I'm sure you're right, Horse. They don't do that sort of thing in Haverfordwest. I really don't know much at all, and if I did know more about stuff, I wouldn't be so ignorant.

  16. Horsetan

    has had two leaks in the office.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      Probably best not to call a "plumber".

       

      Wait a second - why is somebody asking if I might have seen a John le Carre film recently?

    3. rembrow

      rembrow

      Is it St David's day already. You've found the leeks but where are the daffs hidden

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      I think we should call this Ealileaks.

  17. Horsetan

    has just received a call from 01962 866331, asking for a Mr. Loveridge. Well, I'll change my name if it makes things easier....

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      If Mr. Loveridge's car is ready for collection, I wonder if they'll deliver here....?

    3. adb968008

      adb968008

      That's a service orientated response.

    4. Londontram

      Londontram

      Horse you said if we were ever to make this work we weren't to use our real names remember.

  18. Horsetan

    is in a grim 1960s office block in Harrow, watching endless "S" stock going in and out of the station. And it's raining :-(

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      So are my bowels.

    3. chris p bacon

      chris p bacon

      Is that where the rains coming from?

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Why, you're not trying to recycle it into drinking water, are you....?

  19. Horsetan

    is starting to experience high wind conditions

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Londontram

      Londontram

      Do they smell of horse?

    3. Kylestrome

      Kylestrome

      Vegetable curry at lunchtime not such a good idea then?

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Haven't been near a veg curry this week. I think it might be the after-effect of a Baileys-flavoured ice cream.....

  20. Horsetan

    is discovering the works of Adolph von Menzel. Incredible. #germanrealist #art

    1. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      some of it is astonishingly detailed.Admittedly I only learned of him following a Google search after reading your SU!

    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      His studies of medieval plate armour are particularly good - look for his 1867 painting "Blindekuh" ("Blind Man's Buff")

  21. Horsetan

    has just learnt that actress/comedienne Miriam Margolyes is a frequent f@rter. Always liked her Lady Whiteadder, but this latest revelation puts her way up in my admiration :-D

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      Just watching on catch-up. Do we really pay our licence fee to watch Miriam Margoyles being fingered?

    3. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      Just watching on catch-up. Do we really pay our licence fee to watch Miriam Margoyles being fingered?

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      You know you like it really....

  22. Horsetan

    is watching Christmas University Challenge. Quite funny.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Barry O

      Barry O

      Neither team had any engineers so no engineering questions so it was a bit arts biased...

       

    3. sharris

      sharris

      When they answered 'transuranic elements' instead of 'actinides' I thought- there's a Sapphire and Steel fan.

    4. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      St. Hilda's wiped the floor with Leeds. There is something to be said for being of a certain age....

  23. Horsetan

    really should remember not to sit in the local curry house with his trouser zip undone. It makes the staff very unhappy.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Over to you now, CK....

    3. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      Peking dick..?

    4. Claude_Dreyfus

      Claude_Dreyfus

      I'm sure Horse' would have had words with any ducks he caught peeking...

  24. Horsetan

    is looking forward to an etch from CPL

    1. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      I thought that the gentleman had stopped trading.

    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Continues trading under Paul Bambrick. Get your etches here, etc.

  25. Horsetan

    is back in the office. No e-mails, and very little incoming post, suggests that the clients have remembered to enjoy themselves.....

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. The White Rabbit

      The White Rabbit

      And you have to give it time for the bodies to be found. Brace yourself for a rush in January.

    3. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      Enjoy the lull Ivan!

    4. Crisis Rail

      Crisis Rail

      Are you sure you still have a job? :O

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