Dating, women and the 'hobby'...

[MJI]

My first date

 

Took the young lady on a trip to the East Lanks Railway, in my 1970 Avenger, after 7 miles on the road I pulled the cars gear lever right out. She panicked a bit, but out came the spanners and we were soon on our way. It was a great day, and I remember it well, 40145 was superb!.

 

Second date,.......With the same girl, I had been messing with full sized trains during the day, and had a large chunk of a class 40 to get to the Midlands. I discovered that, if I took the front seat out of the Avenger, it would fit in the passenger foot well. So that evening I picked her up, and she immediately headed for the passenger door, and opened it to find a largo rusty lump of a steam heat boiler.

 

After that, introducing her to the toy train part of the hobby was plain sailing,

 

Gary

I used to have a Sunbeam, I took my then GF to Kidderminster and knew it was cheap to park by the SVR station.

 

Yes the tripod carrier mentioned before at Torbay

[sixteen 12by 10s]

Stand there and i will take your photo... so i get home and i have the perfect item to use to scale the photo with, the hight was no problem, but when it came to the width, the human measuring stick got a bit aggressive

 

http://www.rmweb.co.uk/community/index.php?/gallery/image/10838-img-6112jpg/ 

[TomJ]

Long before we were married or even living together MrsJ found my collection of 'Railway Modeller's' under the bed. I think she was expecting to find a different type of magazine! She still refers to it as my train porn!

 

She actually encouraged me to start modelling again when we lived together early in my career and I worked all sorts of odd shifts. She thought it was better for me than watching daytime TV or on the Playstation.

I do feel a bit sorry for her now our toddler is train mad. Days out often involve her being dragged to something railway related, even when I'm not around! But she is now fairly knowledgable on the subject, and an expert on Thomas the Tank Engine!!

[steve1]

As I understand it second wives are much more approving of model railways as a hobby than first wives, very smart first wives are happy to know where their husbands are.

Third ones even more so.

 

steve ;-)

[sb67]

I had gorgeous woman in my flat for dinner on saturday and she noticed some of my railway dvd's on the shelf, she asked if they were mine, dont know who elses they could have been, and gave me a smile. I'm seeing her again this weekend so I dont think all is lost. Not sure if she'll come with me to the members day though!

Seriously though, my last girlfriend was accepting of the hobby and if I met anyone that looked at me differently because of it I'd probably think twice before going out with them!

[The Q]

When I met My wife railways were on the back burner for the time and my main interest was sailing (dinghys and small keelboats), so having thrown her in the water many times. She now hates sailing unless in a motorboat. When I restarted model railways they were accepted,especially as she gets one end of the railway shed ( admittedly with the tracks looping round her) she paints in 2d, I paint in 3d! and animate it as well!!

The Q

Edited January 8, 2013 by The Q

[James]

When you are dating or dated women (or men conceivably), how do you talk about your model railway interest? Is it straight away or do you ease into it? When do you, how did they take it?

 

I think initially anything would be better than someone throwing her uni books in the bin to stop her "bettering herself" was preferable!

 

After we'd been out for a drink or meals and things like the cinema a few times, our first day out was to the NYMR! I think that's a wise move as preserved lines are often quite quaint and almsot cliched - I imagine a day on on Donny station wouldn't have had the same effect! So Suzi was aware quite early on!

 

She is very supportive of my interests, providing I don't take the p*ss! Fair enough really Full acceptance was, I felt, when Suzi looked at a pair of Class 37s I'd done, and asked, pointing at the noses, "why have they got different grilles there?"

 

Her next remark was "What have you done to me?!"

 

My wife's great!

Edited January 8, 2013 by James

[Clive Mortimore]

When I started to go out with my second wife we were both student nurses and had the same group of friends so she was aware of my hobby, and use to the micky taking of my interest. It was the first night I took her back to my room. She saw the layout .......it did take the edge of the romance a little. Last year we celerbrated 25 years of marriage. 

 

Mind you I have lived under the threat of "Should you ever have an affair, I will find out where she lives and give her the train set."  

[more-kits]

I think the gentle approach and a bit later down the line (tonights top pun!) is by far the best way. Too much badness associated with hobbies involving railways! Never kept it a secret but just minor comments and sign of interest in things 'railway' are the best way Ive got round to things but only after some time. Ive noticed that girls who are generally arty, perhaps a bit retro, chic and curious about antiques and bygone days (a bit hippy too perhaps) are the ones who have more of an understanding of the hobby. As Fiona Bruce used to be on Antiques Roadshow. I bet she likes Hornby Dublo and Triang. Good luck with it anyway. Whats right will come right!

[TheSignalEngineer]

This thread reminded me of an acquaintance whose lady friend gave him the ultimatum of Me or The Railway, so he sold the house and spent the proceeds on restoring steam locos.

Edited January 9, 2013 by TheSignalEngineer

[Wherry Lines]

As Fiona Bruce used to be on Antiques Roadshow. I bet she likes Hornby Dublo and Triang.

 

This has just made my evening, and caused me to lose a coupling spring to the carpet gods!

[Southernman46]

 I met the 1st Mrs S. whilst (she was) photographing a phosphoric acid tank at Doncaster at some ungodly hour of the night in July 1983 !

The 2nd Mrs S. thinks I have too many blue & brown things that look the same !

Ah! life, eh ??   

[Guest Max Stafford]

I think the gentle approach and a bit later down the line (tonights top pun!) is by far the best way. Too much badness associated with hobbies involving railways! Never kept it a secret but just minor comments and sign of interest in things 'railway' are the best way Ive got round to things but only after some time. Ive noticed that girls who are generally arty, perhaps a bit retro, chic and curious about antiques and bygone days (a bit hippy too perhaps) are the ones who have more of an understanding of the hobby. As Fiona Bruce used to be on Antiques Roadshow. I bet she likes Hornby Dublo and Triang. Good luck with it anyway. Whats right will come right!

Softly softyly, catchee monkey! I'd say the type of ladies you describe are the better sort to accept someone with interests as they tend to be less shallow and satisfied with mainstream pap culture.

I may even be in the market for a similar lady myself in a few years when I get out of this line of work and regain some semblance of a social life after two decades!

 

Dave.

[tomparryharry]

The future Mrs Smith first saw me messing around with my Mini-Moke. As usual at that time, I was up to my neck in either grime or oil (sometimes both). Full-size steam locomotives & a sense of humour do actually mix, as I found out. Model locomotives went into the loft for a while, although it was 'known' they were there. (they stayed there for 20 years).

 

We've only had one 'incident'.....

 

48 hours after our wedding, we were in Towyn on our honeymoon, when I bumped into a acquaintance driving at the Tallylyn. "Have you got your overalls?" he enquired. "You can have a footplate ride"

 

I was told, in no uncertain terms, if I got on the footplate, it was over. Full Stop.

 

We celebrate our silver this year......

 

I've learned a couple of tips. One is to keep at least a day for yourselves, every week. The other is to take time to ask how the day has gone. Compliments are wonderful things, and so are the occasional box of chocolates!

Edited December 25, 2020 by tomparryharry
text tidy-up

[PhilJ W]

I mentioned to my other half soon after meeting her that I had a long plastic red thing that made funny buzzing noises and she replied "Oh you must have a motorised 1938 EFE tube train then!" ...... Smart woman

 

XF

As long as she did not answer 'So have I.'

Hat, coat gone >>>

[peach james]

I usually find that I do not need to mention the hobby or the fact that I'm addicted to Ebay, RMWeb and other anorak websites if I make contact through the RMWeb Personnal Ads section first.

 

For true friendship contact...darn it, I'd have to look at a MRC to see who it was...it always struck me as funny that there was a dating service ad in MRC right up to the bitter end.  Of course, that was pre interweb...and the joke goes: how do you tell an extroverted engineer?  Answer: he looks at YOUR shoes, not his own !

 

I met Mrs Powell through mutual friends- she knew about the lego before we started dating. 

 

l6 by Peach James, on Flickr

 

Is what my apartment looked like when you walked into it.  There's no hiding that...

 

She tolerates the modeling really well, which is good.  Because I wasn't going to give it up, and it is a large part of what I do for fun.

 

James

[rob D2]

looking at how tolerant other folks ladies are, I may have to terminate me julie's contract...

[-missy-]

Of course there is another option, find a woman who is helping at a model railway show. There are women out there who are interested in Model Railways themselves you know.

 

Missy

[PatB]

For true friendship contact...darn it, I'd have to look at a MRC to see who it was...it always struck me as funny that there was a dating service ad in MRC right up to the bitter end.  

"Jane Scott, for genuine friends" if it's the same agency who had an ad in every issue of Railway Modeller for years.  I'm not sure if I should be admitting that I remember .

[Edge]

Of course there is another option, find a woman who is helping at a model railway show. There are women out there who are interested in Model Railways themselves you know.

 

Missy

What?!?!? Why did no-one say anything  

[davefrk]

Softly softyly, catchee monkey! I'd say the type of ladies you describe are the better sort to accept someone with interests as they tend to be less shallow and satisfied with mainstream pap culture.

 

 

Dave.

I think you've hit it Dave, the 'arty ladies' seem to understand the 'interest' and may even join in. Do you remember the Aviemore layout at the EK club and there was a wee cottage with a washing line of clothes, Fiona painted all those, even consulted her mother on the correct pastel shades of the fifties.

On my own layout the polystyrene was topped with a skin of plaster bandage, all her own work.

I'd been lucky with girlfriends (before I was married!!!) all kinda understood the hobby, I was building stuff so it wasn't seen as just playing trains. One GF, a lovely blonde lass was posing for a photo in 'the' red bikini on Goodrington Sands - was a bit miffed that on seeing the photo wondered why there was  GWR Manor in the middle distance but I explained about the two loves in my life and she was in front of the other. (Phew, got out of that one easily).

Nop, the present Mrs F is very understanding and is even a better operator (of layouts) than a lot of people I know, probably because her Granddad was a driver with the NB and LNER at Parkhead shed.

 

Dave Franks

[Brian Harrap]

I didn't tell her about the toy trains, she didn't tell me about the b****y shopping!

[Horsetan]

I didn't tell her about the toy trains, she didn't tell me about the b****y shopping!

 

Did she know you were a Baronet?

[colin penfold]

I do think there is an obvious point here that we may be getting a bit hung up on finding you a lady who likes or even joins in with the hobby. I come back to my previous point about me time and us time. There is absolutely no need for your partner to be into the hobby with you, provided they are tolerant of it and acknowledge your right to have time to yourself to do it. I couldn't bake a cupcake to save my life, and am not interested in learning. My lovely wife hasn't scratchbuilt a signalbox lately or gone to a model railway show. We each encourage and show interest in each others hobbies but they take place during me time. Us time revolves around DIY, walking, family and photography. It's about balance, as the tortoise said to his girlfriend.

[The Nth Degree]

I'm new to this hobby and started it while already with my partner. In fact, it was because I wanted to build something for our son that got me into it. There are big brownie points to be earned this way, if anyone's supplies are dwindling!

 

I know that this hobby has some pretty sturdy stereotypes attached to it but I've never been shy to talk about it to anyone. Looking through some of the posts in this thread, it looks like some are self-perpetuating the stereotype (or the shame you feel?) by being secretive. About 70-80% of the people I talk to through my job or socially are women and I can honestly say not a single one of them has been negative when I've mentioned it - quite the opposite, in fact.

 

Just before Christmas I was in Smiths and I saw someone browsing through a railway modelling magazine - I don't know anyone in my immediate area who is involved in this hobby, outside of the club I go to - so I thought I'd gently easy my way into a conversation. Almost as soon as I started, he put down the mag and rushed off, looking very sheepish.

 

It pretty much goes without saying that if you feel ashamed of it, it will come across that way when you talk about it.