RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 30, 2020 I've just taken out a subscription for VIVA magazine. Next month, they show you how to adjust the handbrake..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Premium newbryford Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 30, 2020 47 minutes ago, steve1 said: Hull was, quite rightly, the City Of Culture for 2017. Appropriate. This is the forum jokes thread...………………... 2 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 30, 2020 It's a little-known fact, but Las Vegas has the most Catholic churches in the world. When the collection tin goes around, gamblers will sometimes put in spare tokens, from all around the world. Once a year, all of the casinos collect the odd tokens, and donate them to the Franciscan Monastery, where they diligently sort them out. These are the Chip Monks. 6 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDR Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 On 27/06/2020 at 17:34, Hroth said: All I have to say about Welsh cultural appropriation Rygbi Snewcer Mind you, many years ago my father was putting some petrol in the car at a garage in mid-Wales (Summer hols, thirsty car) and you could hear the welsh mechanics talking about a problem vehicle in the workshop. Lots of welsh with pure english technical terms! Camper van holiday - went into a butchers in a place called Lladdyrwddblblbl or similar. Prize Welsh Lamb certificates all over the place. "Pound of diced lamb please". "Yes, what are you doing with it?" "We're making a curry". Butcher goes out back. Loud rant to someone else in Welsh but including "..f**kin curry". 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osgood Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, steve1 said: This has passed me by completely. Who he? steve Steve - the info you really need is that one of Colin’s regular announcements in the club having rang the bell was “The meat pies have come”. Which they had on this thread (again). Edited June 30, 2020 by Osgood spelling 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 30, 2020 Welsh language enthusiasts, the more intellectual ones as opposed to the cottage burner brigade, will insist that words such as 'tacsi' or 'coetys' (coaches) are not derived from English but are equally valid to the English versions as they are Welsh language devivations of the same root Latin form, via it's various European excursions through French or Spanish. There is some truth to this, but it comes across as a pathetic justification. Nwdls is just a phonetic Welsh usage in written form, but all languages do this with foreign words; 'bungalow', for example, is a way of enabling English speakers to say the word so that it can be understood by Hindi speakers. I am sadly unable to speak Welsh myself, though would probably pick a bit of it up if I lived in a predominantly Welsh speaking area. I live in Cardiff, which has as many Welsh speakers as the rest of Wales combined but the population density compared to that of the places in which Welsh is predominant means that the %age is low, and concentrated in an area the other side of the City from my mean streets. But the language is a curse to the country, in the same way as sectarianism is in Ulster, and has an influence in Welsh political and cultural life far beyond any rational recognition. Those who speak it tend to be evangelical about it, and evangelists are always zealots as well. It work; there are about twice as many speakers of this allegedly 'dying' language than there were when I was a lad, and something like a third of those are English incomers, including the reviled second homers that the burners hate so much. I regard myself as a supporter of the language, but despair of some of my fellow travellers and the attitude that I'm not 'proper Welsh' because I'm less than fluent. I can usually follow the gist of a pub conversation, though. This is an attitude recognisably held by some, and all it does is put peoples' backs up. 2 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 2 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 That's why the womens football was stopped...... Jason 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Baby Deltic said: I posted this last Friday in things that make you smile , I call plagiarism . 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted June 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, Sidecar Racer said: I posted this last Friday in things that make you smile , I call plagiarism . Yes, and was not really funny then, either! 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 4 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 9 hours ago, Alex TM said: Some repeats are worth having .... But not, usually, on this thread... 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted June 30, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, The Johnster said: Welsh language enthusiasts, the more intellectual ones as opposed to the cottage burner brigade, will insist that words such as 'tacsi' or 'coetys' (coaches) are not derived from English but are equally valid to the English versions as they are Welsh language devivations of the same root Latin form, via it's various European excursions through French or Spanish. There is some truth to this, but it comes across as a pathetic justification. Nwdls is just a phonetic Welsh usage in written form, but all languages do this with foreign words; 'bungalow', for example, is a way of enabling English speakers to say the word so that it can be understood by Hindi speakers. I am sadly unable to speak Welsh myself, though would probably pick a bit of it up if I lived in a predominantly Welsh speaking area. I live in Cardiff, which has as many Welsh speakers as the rest of Wales combined but the population density compared to that of the places in which Welsh is predominant means that the %age is low, and concentrated in an area the other side of the City from my mean streets. But the language is a curse to the country, in the same way as sectarianism is in Ulster, and has an influence in Welsh political and cultural life far beyond any rational recognition. Those who speak it tend to be evangelical about it, and evangelists are always zealots as well. It work; there are about twice as many speakers of this allegedly 'dying' language than there were when I was a lad, and something like a third of those are English incomers, including the reviled second homers that the burners hate so much. I regard myself as a supporter of the language, but despair of some of my fellow travellers and the attitude that I'm not 'proper Welsh' because I'm less than fluent. I can usually follow the gist of a pub conversation, though. This is an attitude recognisably held by some, and all it does is put peoples' backs up. I don't get this one. Edited June 30, 2020 by Colin_McLeod 1 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted July 1, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 1, 2020 I think The Johnster has stumbled onto a different thread by mistake. Quick! Find another joke! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 13 hours ago, The Johnster said: Welsh language enthusiasts, the more intellectual ones as opposed to the cottage burner brigade, will insist that words such as 'tacsi' or 'coetys' (coaches) are not derived from English but are equally valid to the English versions as they are Welsh language devivations of the same root Latin form, via it's various European excursions through French or Spanish. There is some truth to this, but it comes across as a pathetic justification. Nwdls is just a phonetic Welsh usage in written form, but all languages do this with foreign words; 'bungalow', for example, is a way of enabling English speakers to say the word so that it can be understood by Hindi speakers. I am sadly unable to speak Welsh myself, though would probably pick a bit of it up if I lived in a predominantly Welsh speaking area. I live in Cardiff, which has as many Welsh speakers as the rest of Wales combined but the population density compared to that of the places in which Welsh is predominant means that the %age is low, and concentrated in an area the other side of the City from my mean streets. But the language is a curse to the country, in the same way as sectarianism is in Ulster, and has an influence in Welsh political and cultural life far beyond any rational recognition. Those who speak it tend to be evangelical about it, and evangelists are always zealots as well. It work; there are about twice as many speakers of this allegedly 'dying' language than there were when I was a lad, and something like a third of those are English incomers, including the reviled second homers that the burners hate so much. I regard myself as a supporter of the language, but despair of some of my fellow travellers and the attitude that I'm not 'proper Welsh' because I'm less than fluent. I can usually follow the gist of a pub conversation, though. This is an attitude recognisably held by some, and all it does is put peoples' backs up. I think there are similar feelings about Gaelic in Scotland, very much a minority language but it has enough support to have a TV channel BBC Alba, which most viewers only tune into for lower league football, with the volume turned down so you don't have to listen to the unintelligible commentary, they even do the interviews in English! Scotrail added Gaelic place names to all the stations in Scotland, something itself that caused a lot of controversy as historically many parts of Scotland never had a indigenous Gaelic speaking population and a lot of the place names were never derived from a Gaelic etymology so Scotrail were accused of just making up the Gaelic version to be PC. Jim 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 Stanley and Norman, two OAPs, met in the street one day. “Hi Stanley,” said Norman. “I haven’t seen you for ages. I was wondering if you were ….. still with us.” “I’m fine,” replied Stanley. I’ve just got a part-time job and it’s keeping me busy.” “Oh really? What’s the job,” Norman asked. “I’m the dressing room attendant at a strip club.” “Really?” Norman was astonished. “What does that involve.” “All sorts,” replied Stanley. “I have to mop out the showers and make sure there’s plenty of fresh towels. I help the ladies get oiled up and into their costumes. I stand in the wings with a dressing gown while the ladies are performing so they don’t get cold when they come off stage. I feed the python. Basically I’m just there to make sure that the ladies can perform.” “Sounds fantastic!” Norman exclaimed. “What’s the money like.” “£25 a week.” “That’s not much!” Norman replied. “Come on!” said Stanley. “I’m a pensioner. It’s all I can afford.” 1 13 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: I think there are similar feelings about Gaelic in Scotland, very much a minority language but it has enough support to have a TV channel BBC Alba, which most viewers only tune into for lower league football, with the volume turned down so you don't have to listen to the unintelligible commentary, they even do the interviews in English! Scotrail added Gaelic place names to all the stations in Scotland, something itself that caused a lot of controversy as historically many parts of Scotland never had a indigenous Gaelic speaking population and a lot of the place names were never derived from a Gaelic etymology so Scotrail were accused of just making up the Gaelic version to be PC. Jim A few years ago I could only get Channel 4 in Welsh and only used to watch that because they had football. They even had highlights of the European games well before SKY. And It's A Knockout for some strange reason, Jason 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted July 1, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 1, 2020 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: I think there are similar feelings about Gaelic in Scotland, very much a minority language but it has enough support to have a TV channel BBC Alba, which most viewers only tune into for lower league football, with the volume turned down so you don't have to listen to the unintelligible commentary, they even do the interviews in English! Scotrail added Gaelic place names to all the stations in Scotland, something itself that caused a lot of controversy as historically many parts of Scotland never had a indigenous Gaelic speaking population and a lot of the place names were never derived from a Gaelic etymology so Scotrail were accused of just making up the Gaelic version to be PC. Jim There are similar situations in Wales. Blaenavon is an English-given name, being in that part which is the English part of Monmouthshire. Nowadays, being part or Torfaen, it now has the name of Blaenafon; F being pronounced as V in Welsh. Welsh shepherd joke..... How do you count sheep? 'Tis easy! Count all of the legs, and divide by 4... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted July 1, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 1, 2020 23 minutes ago, CameronL said: Stanley and Norman, two OAPs, met in the street one day. “Hi Stanley,” said Norman. “I haven’t seen you for ages. I was wondering if you were ….. still with us.” “I’m fine,” replied Stanley. I’ve just got a part-time job and it’s keeping me busy.” “Oh really? What’s the job,” Norman asked. “I’m the dressing room attendant at a strip club.” “Really?” Norman was astonished. “What does that involve.” “All sorts,” replied Stanley. “I have to mop out the showers and make sure there’s plenty of fresh towels. I help the ladies get oiled up and into their costumes. I stand in the wings with a dressing gown while the ladies are performing so they don’t get cold when they come off stage. I feed the python. Basically I’m just there to make sure that the ladies can perform.” “Sounds fantastic!” Norman exclaimed. “What’s the money like.” “£25 a week.” “That’s not much!” Norman replied. “Come on!” said Stanley. “I’m a pensioner. It’s all I can afford.” A good joke worth repeating, especially as I posted it about 4 weeks ago.... "Bought to you by Humour 405 lines, where jokes never die, just resting....." 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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