The Forum Jokes Thread

[Hroth]

Thats ok, I'd hate to think that those examples could be considered "clever"... 

[peanuts]

What a day to be addicted to sandwiches.

I'll have to go cold turkey today!

[leopardml2341]

How does a snowman get to work?

 

 

By icicle.........

[jcredfer]

"y, i"...   must be a Northern joke.

 

Julian

[leopardml2341]

[lapford34102]

15 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said:

That Sir required far too much thinking about for Boxing Day.........................!

Stu

[F-UnitMad]

6 hours ago, Hroth said:

I got some more cracker jokes yesterday. When I can find them....

 

... please chuck them in the bin.

[Osgood]

6 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

 

 

Nor wood it stop some pedants complaining about the grammer and the spelling. Watt isnt what we wrote and the apostrophes' been put in the wrong plaice.

 

Beavers do that.

 

 

 

 

Nor wood that is - I've never known a beaver to complain.

 

[jcm@gwr]

1 hour ago, Osgood said:

 

Beavers do that.

 

 

 

 

Nor wood that is - I've never known a beaver to complain.

 

 

But has it been stuffed?

[Osgood]

I really want to post a cartoon - but it would surely be the last thing I ever posted on RMW.....

[ian]

2 hours ago, Osgood said:

 

Beavers do that.

 

 

27 minutes ago, jcm@gwr said:

 

But has it been stuffed?

 

In accordance with the rules it is now necessary to post this:

 

[The Johnster]

In medieval times, beavers were regarded by the Church as fish because they lived in water. Meant you could eat beaver on Fridays.  Never eaten beaver myself, irrespective of day, so don't know what it tastes like.   Wonder if it's anything like pussy.

 

Not sure why, but I feel much better now I've got that off my chest...

[BoD]

You can tell who panic bought earlier this year.

Yesterday you received Andrew and fusilli from them as presents.

[Talltim]

On 22/12/2020 at 10:33, KeithMacdonald said:

For the homesick, ex-pats, or those stuck in unfortunate places?

 

Allegedly genuine. No doubt RMWeb inmates could suggest a few more special editions?

 

https://www.mybaggage.com/shipping/air/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want the HST brakes Edition

Edited December 26, 2020 by Talltim

[andytrains]

1 hour ago, Talltim said:

I want the HST brakes Edition

1 hour ago, Talltim said:

I want the HST brakes Edition

Body Perfumes De Exhibitions, a La Stalepiss must be a number one!

[Hroth]

6 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

... please chuck them in the bin.

 

I've just got some more, I can't waste them.....

 

[Hroth]

Ahem!!

 

1. What athlete is warmest in winter?
2. What do you call a broke santa?

 

 

Answers

(Highlight as before)

 

1.  A long jumper!

2.  It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS (must be one for our American cousins...)

 

You do realise we've got until 12th Night before "Christmas Cracker Jokes" become extinct?

Until next year...

Edited December 26, 2020 by Hroth

[newbryford]

[leopardml2341]

[Welchester]

16 hours ago, The Johnster said:

In medieval times, beavers were regarded by the Church as fish because they lived in water. Meant you could eat beaver on Fridays.

 

I knew that eating beaver was legit. on Fridays and in Lent, but was under the impression that it was because their scaly tails were fishlike. No illustration, because I lack the courage to google 'beaver tail'.

[petethemole]

4 minutes ago, Welchester said:

 

I knew that eating beaver was legit. on Fridays and in Lent, but was under the impression that it was because their scaly tails were fishlike. No illustration, because I lack the courage to google 'beaver tail'.

You get a lot of Canadian pastries, plus actual beavers.

[Jinty3f]

Confucius say, “Man who goes through airport turnstyle sideways, going to Bangcock.”

[peanuts]

[J. S. Bach]

2 hours ago, Welchester said:

 ...snip... No illustration, because I lack the courage to google 'beaver tail'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver_Tail_(railcar)

[petethemole]

Confucius he say, "Woman who fly upside down bound to have crack-up".