The Forum Jokes Thread

[Dagworth]

 

Happy Xmas! 

[Obi-Jiff Kenobi]

Interesting that the above cards come in a pack of 10 - you’d think the factory would be happy to just knock one out.

[newbryford]

Xmas present suggestions.

 

[jbqfc]

[Chris116]

Guess which biscuit bar I have just eaten?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why was the Penguin's head so cold?

 

 

Because he was wearing an ice cap.

 

 

 

Hat, coat and heading for Virtual Railfan at Fort Madison.

[33C]

The wife told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo.  Well, I had to put my foot down...

 

Bye! 

SLAM!

[newbryford]

But does it have a rear wash as well?

[Hroth]

16 minutes ago, newbryford said:

But does it have a rear wash as well?

 

Thats for when you have a near miss from an Audi or BMW...

 

[JZ]

[Obi-Jiff Kenobi]

The budgie on the... fudgie?

[CameronL]

9 minutes ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

The budgie on the... fudgie?

[RFS]

[33C]

The wife said "Are you going to put the Christmas tree up yourself?"..

 

"No!, I'm going to put it in the corner of the room..."

[luckymucklebackit]

15 hours ago, RFS said:

 

 

Make the most of it, I am just about to move house and I have been told that since September you cant get a new land line phone!

 

Jim

[RFS]

1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

Make the most of it, I am just about to move house and I have been told that since September you cant get a new land line phone!

 

Jim

 

I think what you've been told is that you can't have a new analogue phone line. You can still have a land line but it will be BT's Digital Voice (or other equivalents such as from Sky) where the phone is plugged into the broadband router. I have Digital Voice and it works fine. 

Edited December 6, 2023 by RFS

[Compound2632]

1 minute ago, RFS said:

I think what you've been told is that you can't have a new analogue phone line. You can still have a land line but it will be BT's Digital Voice (or other equivalents such as from Sky) where the phone is plugged into the broadband router. I have Digital Voice and it works fine. 

 

The significant drawback is that if one's area had a major power outage (widespread enough to take out your local mobile phone masts), one would be unable to make a call to the emergency services should the need arise. The analogue phone draws its power from the landline, independently of your mains electricity; with a digital service, you are dependent on mains power, unless you've got a backup generator, UPS, or whatever, which few have.

 

As usual, the vulnerable and elderly are being sacrificed on the altar of technological "progress".  

[AndrueC]

55 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

As usual, the vulnerable and elderly are being sacrificed on the altar of technological "progress".  

When else do you want them to be sacrificed?

 

😝

Edited December 6, 2023 by AndrueC

[Compound2632]

41 minutes ago, AndrueC said:

When else do you want them to be sacrificed?

 

I am not Boris Johnson.

[Ian J.]

Simple answer is for the router to have a small UPS/battery in it to keep it connected to the network...?

[AndrueC]

1 minute ago, Ian J. said:

Simple answer is for the router to have a small UPS/battery in it to keep it connected to the network...?

Yes, although it's more complexity that those most at risk might have problems with.

 

Still Ofcom have given this a lot of thought and concluded that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

 

The problem for communication providers is that the kit needed to keep the old analogue telephone network operating is becoming increasingly hard to source and expensive. BT's national roll-out of fibre is not an attempt to increase profit. It's an attempt to get ahead of increasing costs.

[RFS]

2 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

 

The significant drawback is that if one's area had a major power outage (widespread enough to take out your local mobile phone masts), one would be unable to make a call to the emergency services should the need arise. The analogue phone draws its power from the landline, independently of your mains electricity; with a digital service, you are dependent on mains power, unless you've got a backup generator, UPS, or whatever, which few have.

 

Indeed, but bear in mind also that, according to Ofcom, 8 out of 10 households only have cordless landline phones which also will not work in a power cut because the base station needs power. You would need a corded analogue phone plugged directly into the phone socket to be able to make calls in a power cut. 

[Hroth]

When I was "upgraded" to VOIP by BT this time last year, there was some sort of scheme to provide a subsidised small UPS to customers considered vulnerable.  I don't know if this is still available but it only provided backup power for about 4 hours, which would mean that if power died overnight, your VOIP connection would be equally dead by the morning...

 

[Compound2632]

3 minutes ago, RFS said:

Indeed, but bear in mind also that, according to Ofcom, 8 out of 10 households only have cordless landline phones which also will not work in a power cut because the base station needs power. You would need a corded analogue phone plugged directly into the phone socket to be able to make calls in a power cut. 

 

Yes but that's because they've been insidiously weaning people off this safety feature.

[ian]

2 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

The significant drawback is that if one's area had a major power outage (widespread enough to take out your local mobile phone masts), one would be unable to make a call to the emergency services should the need arise. T

 

Sadly with the rollout of digital smart tech the emergency services would probably be incommunicado as well.

[Reorte]

36 minutes ago, RFS said:

 

Indeed, but bear in mind also that, according to Ofcom, 8 out of 10 households only have cordless landline phones which also will not work in a power cut because the base station needs power. You would need a corded analogue phone plugged directly into the phone socket to be able to make calls in a power cut. 

That's why I keep a corded phone in a cupboard.

 

Looks like when VOIP's forced on me (which currently looks like involving losing either my current phone number or my email address, neither of which appeal, just to add to the fun) I'll just have to make do with no phone at all if the power goes down.