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HeeleyBridge

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Everything posted by HeeleyBridge

  1. Ok, so what's the difference between Mrs HB saying "I'm going to do some decorating" and "Your life is not going to be worth living if you don't offer to do it for me"?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      I think you should get together with Satan's Goldfish and compare notes....

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Kill me now PLEASE!!!!

    4. polybear

      polybear

      Make a right pigs ear of it. She'll not ask again

  2. Thought about joining the Apathy Cub, but I couldn't be bothered.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I'm in a wine club - we meet in the park every morning at 10...

    3. locoholic

      locoholic

      The Apathy Club couldn't be bothered to process my application.

    4. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      Some people couldn't be bothered to apply.

  3. If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink.

    1. Boris

      Boris

      Yes, but you'd get less drenk now than you did then because prices have gone up! Buy now to avoid future price increases!

    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      DRINK! DRINK! DRRRINKK!!!

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      A plate of manky tomato salad

  4. My little sister's got motorbike

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      You can get tablets for that now.

  5. I don't stay out late Don't care to go I'm home about eight Just me and my radio

  6. Far too complicated for me. Here's my answer Mr Duck. Hat, coat, wellies, gone..
  7. I don't want to die in a nuclear war. I want to sail away to a distant shore

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      i'm a king kong man, i'm a voodoo man

    2. lapford34102

      lapford34102

      If you want to make like an Apeman please feel free.

      Me, I'll just sit and watch the sunset at Waterloo

       

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Götterdämmerung

  8. Wright writes now seems to be trapped in a time tunnel. If you see Tony & Doug tell them they'll get home one day ... *coughs* I don't know where that came from. "Grandad's doing it again!" is the usual cry around here. Good to see that Jock approppriated the tech guru to keep us up to date. Best wishes to all others who may be 'not at their best' today. Hopefully a nice quiet and relaxing today, after two fun packed days doing 'things' with the grandkids. I'm told the pain will go off before they arrive to do it again next week! edit: They kwep telling me 'but trtypting im nut hardt' dammit!
  9. I don't want to set the world on fire, but then on second thoughts ...

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Maybe just start a little one and see how you feel.

      Might I suggest Trump's hairpiece or Wigan...

    2. Harrogate009

      Harrogate009

      If in doubt, combust things

       

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Scorched earth!

  10. And if they don't give us half a chance, Don't even give us a second glance

  11. Don't go around tonight. It's bound to take your life

  12. And above all, be careful of the Tuscan Salami

    1. vaughan45

      vaughan45

      Boxcar Red or Boxcar Willy

    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      A half-empty bottle of drain cleaner

    3. Brit70053

      Brit70053

      Its supposed to be highly secret Bloodnock

  13. Not to worry, Mr Marples will be tearing the lot down to build one of those new fangled motorways soon and Pencarne will be no more than a memory. Oops! Did I say that out loud? As I always say, "if it's not broken making you happy - keep fixing it until it is does".
  14. We're about 40% banana genetically, the other 60% is beer, sausages and pasties.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. locoholic

      locoholic

      It's six days into half term, and I'm now 100% bananas, thanks to my children.

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      How about a large chunk of toffee?

    4. NHY 581

      NHY 581

      Seems a waste of 40%.

  15. Just found this buried in another thread, but hadn't seen anything here. Apologies if I just missed it. All the best Jock.
  16. Crackerjack! *grabs biscuits and goes to hide in the cubpoard - the men in white coats are at the door*
  17. Sun is shining in the sky! There ain't a cloud in sight! It's stopped raining!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Runnin' down the avenue,

      See how the sun shines brightly

      In the city,

      In the streets where once was pity,

      Mr. Blue

      Sky is living here today,

      Hey-ey-ey

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long?

      Where did we go wrong?

    4. Tim Dubya
  18. Phil, take the Co-codamol while you need to, but as soon as you don't stop. Then hopefully next time you need it it will work. I was on the stuff 4x2 (8 daily) for 18 months continuously (under doctors orders and on prescription) despite warnings on the box not to take it for more than 3 days! It has other side effects as I'm sure you know, I certainly do General congrats & comisserations as appropriate, one fingered typing this morning, hands waiting for above medication and anti-inflamatories to kick in.
  19. is seriously wondering how many culinery SPADs he must accrue before being (thankfully) banned from the food preparation area.

    1. Michael Delamar

      Michael Delamar

      Spoons passed at danger

    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Have a napkin...

  20. I heard that somebody donated a pile of JA movies and he's had to watch them all, strictly for research purposes of course. I'm sure he'll stop shaking and be back soon.
  21. Brain for sale. Never been out of original packaging. Professionally weathered. One careful owner.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Captain Kernow
    3. Tim Dubya
    4. muddys-blues

      muddys-blues

      Hey hey, you can't use status updates for advertising g things for sale .... please use the buy and sell section ??

  22. Toss the feathers!

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Great Irish trad piece, that.

    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Eat the Sausages! An old folk tune from Haverfordwest.

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