manna Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 G'Day Folks 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 31, 2018 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 31, 2018 Aargh, I really shouldn't have been sat here for 10 seconds trying to work that out!I've just gone through a similar experience with the dyslexic joke post #7206 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonB Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Kids can be so very cruel..... Grandson's best mate at junior school said on arrival at 7 that he was dyslexic, and he did struggle to keep up with lessons. At 10 he announced that "I've done the tests and I'm not dyslexic" Grandson whispered." I'd keep quiet about that, or people will think you are just stupid" They are still good friends!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 I saw it was Geoff Boycott’s birthday last week. He turned 78 Took him 124 years to do it mind.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Train Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 It had been snowing all night. So at .... 8:00 I made a snowman. 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 So, I made a snow woman 8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere 8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead 8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts 8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.. 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa 8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended 8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role 8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction 8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist. 9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services 9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse. Rather unfortunately, far too much truth in the above. Mind you once the sun comes out all the silly little Snow Flakes will melt away, which is a bonus. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted November 1, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 1, 2018 I can send you a "Make America Great Again" Hat if you want. That keeps everyone quiet. Quiet or terrified? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 I've just gone through a similar experience with the dyslexic joke post #7206 It is bad enough being dyslexic but imagine the problems if you live in a country that does not use your first language. SWMBO falls into that category and I have been treated to such gems as, just watching the head lice, planting window boxes with a trout, keeping cheese in a bell tower. I should have written them down as some are hilarious and others totally obscure. Bernard 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 It had been snowing all night. So at .... 8:00 I made a snowman. 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 So, I made a snow woman 8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere 8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead 8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts 8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.. 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa 8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended 8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role 8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction 8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist. 9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services 9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse. G G'Day Folks This, I think, is an adequate reply. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 What's the difference between a Snowflake and a whining, things-ain't-wot-they-used-to-be, everybody's-out-to-stop-me-having-fun, grump? Not a lot, apparently. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I am often times called both lol Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRAINS_R_GUD Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=hW9cEAJV&id=025229413A2E9AFAE52AC2298EB46701B2B65DF2&thid=OIP.hW9cEAJV4X91U0bYgUaK2QHaF_&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fimages.baklol.com%2fb2b2e26c53253e3334efa1bcf0d472651445776345.JPG&exph=648&expw=800&q=model+railway+jokes&simid=608009780873594045&selectedIndex=19&adlt=strict 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRAINS_R_GUD Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 G'day Folks Subject: Blood Transfusion An Arab sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, his doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world. Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 in appreciation for the blood donation. A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood. After the second surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?" To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins". LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave47549 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 (edited) . Edited October 1, 2021 by Dave47549 Removed pointless guff 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 The Car of the Year for 2018, as voted by Woman magazine is: A Blue one. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 John Terry has retired from football to spend more time with the wife........He just hasn't decided whose yet. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 A bit late perhaps, but why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because 31 oct = 25 dec 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted November 4, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 4, 2018 I've just watched the quiz programme Tenable. The questions seemed to go over the presenters head. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve K Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I've just watched the quiz programme Tenable. The questions seemed to go over the presenters head. Mike. If you tell that joke to the presenter, and he says "I'm not happy", don't make it worse by asking "Which one are you, then?". 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I've just watched the quiz programme Tenable. The questions seemed to go over the presenters head. Mike. ?????????????? steve Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted November 4, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2018 A bit late perhaps, but why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because 31 oct = 25 dec More likely to be a computer programmer than a mathematician. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 A bit late perhaps, but why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because 31 oct = 25 dec Too funny. Took me a bit to figure it out even though I majored in mech eng as an undergrad. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 G'Day Folks Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 G'Day Folks G'Day Folks 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedGemAlchemist Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 "I went to see The Specials in Diss last night." "Diss Town?" "Be comin' like a ghost town, yes." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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