RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 2, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 2, 2018 Jose Mourinho has said he wants to go back to Portugal and never be seen or heard again. The McCann’s have offered to help. steve No way would Mourinho be 'never seen or heard from again'. He loves he's favourite topic. Long may he stay in the job, after all he wanted it while at Stamford Bridge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 (edited) I thought there's a seperate Thread for "The Game of the Inflated Ego"..?? Edited October 3, 2018 by F-UnitMad Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 A polar bear walks into a bar:- "Can I have a pint of lager please................................. ............................................................ ........................ ............................................................ ....................... ............................................................ ....................... And a packet of cheese and onion crips?" "Certainly sir" replied the barman, "but can I ask what's with the big pause" "I'm a polar bear, they're for catching fish" Brit15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted October 3, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 3, 2018 A polar bear walks into a bar:- "Can I have a pint of lager please................................. ............................................................ ........................ ............................................................ ....................... ............................................................ ....................... And a packet of cheese and onion crips?" "Certainly sir" replied the barman, "but can I ask what's with the big pause" "I'm a polar bear, they're for catching fish" Brit15 We've probably had it before, but what the heck. Why don't Polar Bears eat penguins? Because they can't get the wrapper off. Cheers, Mick (waits for polar bears and penguins at opposite ends of the earth comment...……) 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurenceb Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 (edited) What do you call an angry polar bear? Nothing you just run! (From the same place as the last one!) Edited October 3, 2018 by laurenceb 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 3, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 3, 2018 We've probably had it before, but what the heck. Why don't Polar Bears eat penguins? Because they can't get the wrapper off. Cheers, Mick (waits for polar bears and penguins at opposite ends of the earth comment...……) I thought it was because Polar Bears, can't get a passport! Seriously, I wonder if anyone's tried transporting either species from one to the other? After all mankind has shifted virtually every other type of flora & fauna around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 While were doing polar Bear jokes ---- Brit15 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted October 3, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 3, 2018 While were doing polar Bear jokes ---- Jalapeños aren't that hot. Now scotch bonnets ... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Anyone know how to annoy a polar bear? 1 Make a hole in the ice 2 Put some frozen peas in the hole 3 The polar bear will inevitably be attracted and come for a pea 4 When he/she does, you kick them in the ice hole Ta da! Stan Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobM Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Why do owls hate rain in the breeding season...? Because..... It's..... too wet to woo...! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 4, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 4, 2018 How do you get 4 Elephants in a Mini? Two in the front & two in the back! How do you get two Polar Bears in a Mini. You're probably thinking, one in the front & one in the back? Well, no the Mini's full of Elephant, so how do you expect to fit Polar Bears in as well? Its a Mini, not a Tardis! Keep up! I worry about you sometimes! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
N15class Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 How do you get 4 Elephants in a Mini? Two in the front & two in the back! How do you get two Polar Bears in a Mini. You're probably thinking, one in the front & one in the back? Well, no the Mini's full of Elephant, so how do you expect to fit Polar Bears in as well? Its a Mini, not a Tardis! Keep up! I worry about you sometimes! Now that brought back memories from 6 decades ago. I was going to say from the days I wore short trousers, but, as I'm sat at my bench in shorts, it wasn't really appropriate. I suppose things don't really change. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted October 4, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 4, 2018 This works better verbally.. How do you get two whales in a mini? Over the Severn Bridge... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 The 'mini' jokes were funnier with the original, not the modern fat bloated version of the car. The first time my lad (now 15) saw an original Mini a few years back now, he couldn't believe how small it actually was. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted October 4, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 4, 2018 The 'mini' jokes were funnier with the original, not the modern fat bloated version of the car. The first time my lad (now 15) saw an original Mini a few years back now, he couldn't believe how small it actually was. Similar with the original Fiat 500s vs the modern ones... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 How do you get 4 Elephants in a Mini? Two in the front & two in the back! How do you get two Polar Bears in a Mini. You're probably thinking, one in the front & one in the back? Well, no the Mini's full of Elephant, so how do you expect to fit Polar Bears in as well? Its a Mini, not a Tardis! Keep up! I worry about you sometimes! That reminds me, Who would circumcise a whale ? Four skin-divers ! Gibbo. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welchester Posted October 5, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 5, 2018 OK, if we're doing 'Jokes I Remember from my Schooldays', What comes in pints? An elephant. I thengyow. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 OK, if we're doing 'Jokes I Remember from my Schooldays', What comes in pints? An elephant. I thengyow. Hi There, Here is some more school boy humour for you, What comes first the chicken or the egg ? The Cock ! Equally rude, Gibbo. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted October 5, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 5, 2018 Hi everyone, As a part of their strategy to address stock shortages ScotRail have just initiated a new shuttle service between Glasgow Central, Queen Street, and Tarbert. This was taken this afternoon in Gordon Street: Regards, Alex. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 5, 2018 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 5, 2018 https://squirrelunderpants.com/ Link doesn't work Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted October 5, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 5, 2018 Link doesn't work Try https://squirrelunderpants.com/ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Davis Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 OK, if we're doing 'Jokes I Remember from my Schooldays', What comes in pints? An elephant. I thengyow. We used to say "What's Big, grey and comes by the bucketful?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted October 6, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 6, 2018 Whilst we're on the subject. How do you get down from an elephant. You don't, you get down from a duck. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted October 6, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 6, 2018 Ok, to keep things going. Why do elephants paint their toenails red. So they can hide in the cherry tree. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted October 6, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 6, 2018 I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree! Good disguise, isn't it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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