jcredfer Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 3 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: There isn't enough stone there for his ego let alone anything else! Mike. No worries, it's rather like the false accounting for carbon emissions, the space required for his ego is far more than compensated by the negative space required for his brain. Julian 2 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted May 28, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 28, 2020 3 hours ago, PhilJ W said: "I think we're wasting our time with this one." Socially distanced CPR ! 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted May 28, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 28, 2020 1 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 28, 2020 2 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted May 29, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 29, 2020 6 1 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Damo666 Posted May 29, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 29, 2020 OK, I'll probably be sent to hell for this one, but folks, please remember that this is the Joke thread. (Oh, and I didn't write this, it was the dog.) Instructions for cleaning the toilet: 1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo. 2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet. 3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid. 4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will produce generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself. 5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle. 6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door. 7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed he will be moving from the toilet to the front door. 8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean. With best wishes, The Dog Photographic Results 1 19 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted May 29, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 29, 2020 Nooo! That reminds me just why Schroedinger's cat is a thought experiment. Have tried putting a cat in a box? 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) The world's first plane built for Social Distancing is now in service. Edited May 29, 2020 by Baby Deltic 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted May 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 29, 2020 Shops are getting ready to open after lock down. 2 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenrithBeacon Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 1 2 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian, every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian..” Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually had the good fortune to meet Brian but I did have the miss-fortune to marry his widow! 4 11 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted May 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 30, 2020 15 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: The world's first plane built for Social Distancing is now in service. There was something similar to this on the Thunderbirds movie. 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 1 hour ago, tomparryharry said: There was something similar to this on the Thunderbirds movie. Yes, it was the Fireflash I think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Boar Fell Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 22 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said: Yes, it was the Fireflash I think. Also thought it looked Thunderbirds esque, might be Zero-X rather than Fireflash https://images.app.goo.gl/2af6MDmwafnPNqk37 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 17 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: The world's first plane built for Social Distancing is now in service. Problem is there is only one toilet at the front and two at the back! 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 30, 2020 33 minutes ago, andytrains said: Problem is there is only one toilet at the front and two at the back! Plenty of room to queue, even with social distancing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PenrithBeacon Posted May 30, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 30, 2020 3 3 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNWR18901910 Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 13 minutes ago, peanuts said: Perhaps a goat would be much cheaper? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted May 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 30, 2020 13 minutes ago, LNWR18901910 said: Perhaps a goat would be much cheaper? Lionel Messi would be much more expensive! Mike. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNWR18901910 Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 On 29/05/2020 at 03:29, BR60103 said: Mount Bottom, anyone? 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 30, 2020 Just how stupid can you get? https://www.facebook.com/au.hazmat/videos/555904295118414/ 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted May 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 30, 2020 Not much more than that, even in America! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 3 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Just how stupid can you get? https://www.facebook.com/au.hazmat/videos/555904295118414/ Must be a stunt, even for the US that would be unbelievable! If I were in that following car, I'd go and find another filling station.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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