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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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They're all 24 hours long...

Not true, every so often (2 years or so?), they add a leap second. Why, because the Earth's rotation is gradually slowing down!

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_second

 

Didn't you notice that 30th June 2015 (the most recent occasion), seemed a little longer than usual?

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Isn't it ironic that the very place that fought so hard to get out of the (then) Empire is the last bastion of the Imperial system :rolleyes:

But there is a lot more to it than that. They changed the definitions to "simplify" it. Usually by rounding things off, thus creating a new standard, but using the same name. But that is nothing of course, to what they did to the language, especially spelling, by not quite getting rid of the 'u' & double letters in words like "modelling".

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But there is a lot more to it than that. They changed the definitions to "simplify" it. Usually by rounding things off, thus creating a new standard, but using the same name. But that is nothing of course, to what they did to the language, especially spelling, by not quite getting rid of the 'u' & double letters in words like "modelling".

 

But, "modeling" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely as "modelling" !

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I'd be prepared to accept that, if it put an end to the misspelling of "gauge" as "guage".

 

so removing the double letters and 'Us turns OO gauge into O gage, that will go down well.

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so removing the double letters and 'Us turns OO gauge into O gage, that will go down well.

 

The "OO" is not a double letter, but a double numeral (00) voiced as "oh-oh" (or double-oh), and not as in Frankie Howerd's "OO-er missis!"

 

Edit: Corrected misspelling of Frankie Howerd's name.

Edited by bluebottle
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Joke of the Week:- the England football team.

 

I was then going to put "oops, wrong thread", but then again...

Are we going to combine "The Forum Jokes Thread" & "Football Focus" thread. Might same some bandwidth!

:jester:

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He might be able to tone it down a bit :rofl:

 

:jester:

 

:punish:

 

(Hank B Marvin is one of my all-time guitar hero's!)

 

Oi! Marvin! No! Bring back my guitar strap! I knew you nicked it! That cost me forty bloody quid that did! :nono: :O

 

(It's not the real red strat though) :drag:

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