F-UnitMad Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Allegheny1600 said: What's green and turns red at the touch of a button? Kermit in a blender! (groan) Hence where DCC 'Frog Juicers' get their name from... tasteful, eh??!! 2 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted June 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 17, 2020 3 hours ago, Allegheny1600 said: Is it time for a re-run of elephant jokes yet? Just in case it is - how do you know when there's been an elephant in the fridge? Footprints in the butter! (groan, groan) How do you know when there are two elephants in your fridge? . . . You can't close the door... 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted June 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 17, 2020 Q: Why are elephants wrinkled? A: Have you ever tried to iron one? 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted June 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 17, 2020 An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. “Why did you do that?” asks a passing giraffe. “Because I recognised it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago.” “Wow, what a memory!” says the giraffe. “Yes,” says the elephant. “Turtle recall. 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted June 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 17, 2020 GROAN!!!! 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Hi Folks, How do you get two Whales in a Mini ? Along the M4 and over the Severn Bridge. Rubbish ! Gibbo. 2 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffnut Thorston Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 How do you find out how much a whale weighs? Take it to a whale-weigh station! Well..... 1 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffnut Thorston Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 How does an elephant disguise itself when hiding in a cherry tree? It paints it's toenails red.... 2 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffnut Thorston Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? That proves that it works! 1 1 1 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffnut Thorston Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree? It stands on a leaf, and waits until Autumn! Oh well....that's that sequence done. 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 9 hours ago, newbryford said: An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. “Why did you do that?” asks a passing giraffe. “Because I recognised it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago.” “Wow, what a memory!” says the giraffe. “Yes,” says the elephant. “Turtle recall. Must have been a Geordie elephant... steve 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickon Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 How do you get four elephants into a mini? two in the front and two in the back How do you get four giraffes into a mini? You can't 'cos it's already full of elephants 3 1 1 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 18, 2020 The only elephant joke missing seems to be the one involving a chihuahua dog, my version is totally unrepeatable on here! Mike. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 18, 2020 The only elephant joke missing seems to be the one involving a chihuahua dog, my version is totally unrepeatable on here! Mike. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 18, 2020 33 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: The only elephant joke missing seems to be the one involving a chihuahua dog, my version is totally unrepeatable on here! Mike. 31 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: The only elephant joke missing seems to be the one involving a chihuahua dog, my version is totally unrepeatable on here! Mike. And yet you repeated it..... 2 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, chris p bacon said: And yet you repeated it..... Maybe it was meant to be ironic? Is that joke along the same lines as the one about the bear, the rabbit & 'droppings'..? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickon Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 How do you stop a herd of charging elephants? make a trunk call and reverse the charge.............! 1 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allegheny1600 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Oh gawd, what have I started!?! 1 4 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 16 minutes ago, Allegheny1600 said: Oh gawd, what have I started!?! 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Allegheny1600 said: Oh gawd, what have I started!?! "Sow, and ye shall reap"! 2 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 11 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Folks, How do you get two Whales in a Mini ? Along the M4 and over the Severn Bridge. Rubbish ! Gibbo. Only works for a BMW Mini With a real mini, you take the car ferry.... 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 10 minutes ago, Hroth said: Only works for a BMW Mini With a real mini, you take the car ferry.... When were real mini's banned from the Severn bridge? have I missed something? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 Some old ones: Why do elephants paint their feet yellow? To hide upside down in a bowl of custard! If you've never seen one then it proves it works... As for the "M4 and Severn Bridge" to Wales, sorry, doesn't work for me. It's be the M56 and A55 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffnut Thorston Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 When 'real Minis' were introduced, the first Severn Bridge wasn't open, and the second wasn't either... So it was the car ferry from Aust on the English side.... Made uneconomical to run once the Severn Bridge was opened, and so it closed...there are remains... A55, to Gogledd Cymru...North Wales. 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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