RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 45 minutes ago, Sarahagain said: When 'real Minis' were introduced, the first Severn Bridge wasn't open, and the second wasn't either... So it was the car ferry from Aust on the English side.... Made uneconomical to run once the Severn Bridge was opened, and so it closed...there are remains... A55, to Gogledd Cymru...North Wales. But 'real' mini's were around in 1966 when it did open . So the situation with the whales was possible . 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Al51 Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 Breaking News: The Pagan Summer Solstice Festival at Stonehenge has been cancelled based on government advice. A spokesman for The Druids said, ''It's unfortunate but we're all going to have to make sacrifices.'' 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 A man takes his wife to a new restaurant. This restaurant is a part of a new chain selling traditional Eskimo food. They finally get served by the waiter. "What would you like? We've got whale steak, whale sausages, whale chops, whale burgers and the Vera Lynn special." The couple looked at each other and the husband asked "What's the Vera Lynn Special?" "Whale meat again!" 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Sarahagain said: When 'real Minis' were introduced, the first Severn Bridge wasn't open, and the second wasn't either... So it was the car ferry from Aust on the English side.... Made uneconomical to run once the Severn Bridge was opened, and so it closed...there are remains... A55, to Gogledd Cymru...North Wales. Hi Sarah, To be fair the joke is aimed at London centric types with no concept of geography. My route was generally the A494. Gibbo. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2020 17 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: A man takes his wife to a new restaurant. This restaurant is a part of a new chain selling traditional Eskimo food. They finally get served by the waiter. "What would you like? We've got whale steak, whale sausages, whale chops, whale burgers and the Vera Lynn special." The couple looked at each other and the husband asked "What's the Vera Lynn Special?" "Whale meat again!" We'll let you get away with that repeat, but for today only! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Hi Folks, How would you go about circumcising a whale ? One big knife and operated by four skin divers ! Gibbo. 1 1 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 7 hours ago, Sarahagain said: How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree? It stands on a leaf, and waits until Autumn! Oh well....that's that sequence done. Or alternatively, Why do all the animals leave the Jungle at 5pm? Thats when the elephants come down out of the Cherry Trees for their Tea Why do Cobras have flat heads? Too Slow getting out of the Jungle 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damo666 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, Sarahagain said: How does an elephant disguise itself when hiding in a cherry tree? It paints it's toenails red.... I've been really reluctant to join in on this subject, didn't want to add to the sheer volume of groaning that can be heard on RMWeb, but a variation of this went around my maths class many (many) years ago. We had a very stern teacher who we all feared and of course when you shouldn't laugh that's the worst time to hear a joke. "How do you hide an elephant in the forest?" "Paint this testicles red and hide him in a cherry tree". OK so far. Then the killer question that got the class stifling laughs and 30 minutes detention. "How did Tarzan die?" "Picking cherries" Edited June 18, 2020 by Damo666 Silly typo 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Sarahagain said: A55, to Gogledd Cymru...North Wales. And (pre-covid), always check your speed, the ANPR and Speed Cameras were specially tuned to pick up English registrations.... Nowadays, pass an ANPR with English plates and the Heddlu will have you a mile on in.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Just avoid the A55 as it was always full of holiday makers going the coast. Jason 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: But 'real' mini's were around in 1966 when it did open . So the situation with the whales was possible . Indeed, And since the oldest mini would have been barely Se7en years old, and not many of them since demand and production was slow to pick up for a year or two after launch, not only does it work for the "real" mini, but it is almost certain that more "real" minis have crossed the Severn bridge than BMW minis to this very day! Edited June 18, 2020 by Titan 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted June 18, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 18, 2020 We seem to have missed my favourite elephant joke (this time around): Why do elephants have wrinkles in the soles of their feet? To give ants a 50:50 chance 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Still the funniest elephant related thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said: Hi Folks, Only five of them will be happy if Snow White is involved. Two of them will have to cook their own dinner do their own laundry. What where you thinking !!!! Gibbo. Edited June 18, 2020 by Gibbo675 Spelling 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted June 19, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 19, 2020 18 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: The only elephant joke missing seems to be the one involving a chihuahua dog, my version is totally unrepeatable on here! Mike. Is that the one that ends: If I find out you'll be in trouble. ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 19, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 19, 2020 4 hours ago, BR60103 said: Is that the one that ends: If I find out you'll be in trouble. ? Most definitely not! Mike. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 1 11 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenrithBeacon Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 On 17/06/2020 at 19:57, Allegheny1600 said: What's green and turns red at the touch of a button? Kermit in a blender! (groan) What's green and smells of pork? Whoops, better not go there! 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 And I thought Americans didn't do Irony.... 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted June 19, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 19, 2020 1 hour ago, leopardml2341 said: What's green and smells of pork? Whoops, better not go there! 5 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 2 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 20, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 20, 2020 On 19/06/2020 at 04:11, Steamport Southport said: Still the funniest elephant related thing. Trying to figure out how he eats with that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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