Jump to content
RMweb
 

Captain Kernow

RMweb Gold
  • Posts

    19,379
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    34

Status Updates posted by Captain Kernow

  1. Why is tomato soup that consists mostly of onions not billed as onion soup with added tomatoes?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Satan's Goldfish

      Satan's Goldfish

      Mrs SG works in a location that serves meat and potato pie. To date, we still don't know which animal the meat comes from.

    3. Hroth

      Hroth

      Dunno. I don't like onion soup and I'm not that fond of tomato soup either.

    4. waggy

      waggy

      M&S Turkey gravy contains 1% more Chicken Stock than Turkey Stock

  2. Regional variations in theory.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      Regional variations in mentality.

    3. Liam

      Liam

      Regional variations in maturity.

    4. BoD

      BoD

      Theoretical variations in regions.

  3. It's all a bit Krapotinskaya at the moment.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. DonB

      DonB

      Retirement not all beer and skittles then? Been there !

    3. eastwestdivide

      eastwestdivide

      Nastikov, Chestikov and Tiklikov?

    4. Tim Dubya
  4. At what point does contemplative and reflective become sad and melancholy?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. BoD

      BoD

      And then move onto Leonard Cohen.

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      You Want It Darker

    4. Regularity

      Regularity

      Are you listening to Radiohead yet? That’s usually a good sign...

  5. Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man, Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Stentor

      Stentor

      She nearly swooned at his macaroon

      And he said now if you treat me right

      You'll have hot rolls evry morning

      And crumpets every night

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Sounds like a right jolly Christmas story! oO

    4. Hroth

      Hroth

      He said "D'you want it pasturised, 'cos pasturised is best?", She said "Ernie I'd be happy if it came up to my chest!"

  6. We recently bought a small wooden nail brush type thingy from Tesco, marked 'Calcot Manor Spa' (yes, from Tesco of all places). Of course, any visitors to the house will now think we pinched it from the hotel.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. gwrrob

      gwrrob

      A Manor never offends.

    3. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      Now then my lad, that's just the sort of story we here from the likes of you all too often.

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      There is a Calcot Manor hotel and spa near Tetbury, apparently.

  7. The Midland Railway in South Wales, how fantastic is that?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tony_S

      Tony_S

      The Midland Railway were even in Essex

    3. bgman

      bgman

      Was that via a Roman Aquaduct ?

    4. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      No, Pitsea Marsh!

  8. If I keep putting off buying something that I want, does the eventual purchase have that much more pleasure attached, or will I simply miss out because I've left it too late?

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. tractionman

      tractionman

      Personally I like a bit of both, possibly even at the same time...

    3. Platform 1

      Platform 1

      "...you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting."

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Platform 1 is a person of great wisdom.

       

  9. I know that people criticise 'round robin' letters, but what is Farcebook, if not some huge electronic version of the same?

    1. Hroth

      Hroth

      What is this A**ebook of which you speak? :-)

       

    2. bgman

      bgman

      I know nothing of such things, is something for Local people ?

    3. Ozexpatriate

      Ozexpatriate

      A lot of people criticise Facebook.

  10. What I don't understand is this, I do all the accumulated ironing. I get it all done and properly hung up on hangers etc., then each time she somehow finds more stuff to wash and for me to iron! How is this possible?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. coachmann

      coachmann

      You're the chogie for the street and you wife is making a mint...

    3. locoholic

      locoholic

      Too competent - burn a hole in something.

    4. mike morley

      mike morley

      Suddenly I'm reminded why divorce was worth enduring

  11. I am only prepared to entertain the prospect of top quality fruit and vegetable suppliers.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Tim Hall

      Tim Hall

      I once gave the Mayor of Sandwell a chocolate in a wrapper that made it look like a sprout....

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      I bet you got invited back to many more official functions.

    4. Tim Hall

      Tim Hall

      Bizarrely, it was whilst exhibiting a friend's layout at the NEC two years ago. They were a load in a wagon....

  12. And people think we're mad for discussing the minutiae of bullhead track! - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/41973119/why-do-people-still-think-the-earth-is-flat

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Spock for yourself...

    2. Hroth

      Hroth

      So long as we can leave off the anchovies....

  13. Gobble-de-goook, mumbo jumbo, double Dutch, bolleaux.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. DonB
    3. Metr0Land

      Metr0Land

      Twas ever thus on social meeja

    4. Regularity

      Regularity

      If you loved me, you’d swallow that...

  14. Don't anyone even think of moving to Devon or Cornwall. It's cold, damp, dark and we are apparently all subject to grinding poverty.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Bernard Lamb

      Bernard Lamb

      You keep the poverty and I will take the grinding.

    3. Hroth

      Hroth

      Its grim down north....

    4. Stubby47

      Stubby47

      You keep telling them that Capt, keep the emmets from buying houses down here...

  15. I'm not suffering from quiche overload any more.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. 46444

      46444

      The consequences of quiche...

    3. Hroth

      Hroth

      Plink! Plink! Fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

    4. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      There will be nice healthy green salad next time you come for lunch.

  16. I think I've had too much quiche.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. beast66606

      beast66606

      <shakes head> - CK eating quiche, what is the world coming to.

    3. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      When he visited my house once he ate Tarte Tatin. No cream buns here.

    4. 5050

      5050

      I like a nice quicky myself. You can actually get them with lumps of sausage embedded.

  17. May I have a day return to Tuxedo Junction, please.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Porcy Mane
    3. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      At this rate, I wonder how long it'll be before people get asked if they are "In The Mood" for "Chattanooga Choo Choo".

    4. Hroth

      Hroth

      I've a trifle to spare!

  18. The Horrocksford and District Tombola and Garden Shed Cleaning Society may decide to hold it's next social event in due course.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Ramrig

      Ramrig

      I take it the date of the event will contain a 5 or a 0

    3. ian

      ian

      I believe that Gerald the Chief Rabbit will be the guest of honour.

    4. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      Or in the vicarage if wet.

  19. How far away is Horrocksford?

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Rowsley17D

      Rowsley17D

      If you're going there, I wouldn't start from here.

    3. Northroader

      Northroader

      How long is a string of sausages?

    4. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Can’t be too long for Tim, can it? :-D

  20. A properly cooked sausage and no mustard please, my good man.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Platform 1
    3. bgman

      bgman

      Spit the Dog

    4. DougN

      DougN

      Well Ive had a kransky on Friday night, I had standard snags for dinner last night and Cold snag sandwiches for lunch... I had it with sausages for a while

  21. I used the extra hour up last night by changing all the clocks and then pondering on the nature of Art, after which I ended up going to bed an hour later.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. bgman
    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I'm not known for quoting Brian Sewell but a favourite of mine of his is:

      "I don't know what art is but I know what it isn't".

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Exactly, Brian Sewell, such a love, don't you think, Darling? Aesthetically, the concept has no essence of that which is essential.

×
×
  • Create New...