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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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On 25/04/2019 at 12:59, luckymucklebackit said:

I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm the chip monk.
 

 

You forgot the third brother, He was overweight and studying Philosophy. He was the deep fat friar.

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This latest Trend of Idiots, running onto Football Pitches, has to stop, an stop sharpish.

Cos,

It’s only a matter of time before somebody does it, at Old Trafford.

And gets "The Man of the Match", award..

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6 hours ago, jcredfer said:

I've had kids in Comprehensive school Maths classes, that wouldn't comprehend that joke.  

 

Regards

 

Julian

 

Neither, maybe, would Steven Hawking.

 

Rounding Down gave us the Flat Earth Society......(anon.)

 

Rounding Up most likely gave us a 700% error in the likely age of the Earth (Rutherford via Bryson, regarding the decomposition - half life - rate of Isotropes).

 

So not necessarily a great attribute for budding students, howsoever mathematically inept.

 

 

 

Nonetheless, Pedantry gave us an inability to laugh at a joke about maths. (Here, multiple sources, to follow .....)

 

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Mike Storey said:

 

Neither, maybe, would Steven Hawking.  You may have underestimated the Gentleman.

 

Rounding Down gave us the Flat Earth Society......(anon.)   Highly unlikely to have been the cause of the idea......   (Julian)

 

Rounding Up most likely gave us a 700% error in the likely age of the Earth (Rutherford via Bryson, regarding the decomposition - half life - rate of Isotropes).   Hardly the "most likely" cause, but almost certainly a contribution, although an inaccurate % error.

 

So not necessarily a great attribute for budding students, howsoever mathematically inept.   None of the above, has the slightest relevance to those struggling with the basics of Maths, which many of us have strived, very hard, to achieve improvements made in their progress.

 

 

 

Nonetheless, Pedantry gave us an inability to laugh at a joke about maths. (Here, multiple sources, to follow .....)    I enjoyed the play on words and shared it with others, but made a factual observation on how difficult the education process can sometimes be.  Mike observes that the same principle applies to teaching English, too.  

 

"Pedantry" Is far from the devotion that educators place into the best development of all pupils, regardless of ability.  "Pedantry" is far from the achievements that educators create for their pupils.  That doesn't stop us being aware of where the starting position may be, without which awareness, teaching would be like firing shots at a target in complete darkness.  Lack of humour and "pedantry" are some of the factors that make life more difficult for anyone trying to understand any topic.  I will leave explanation here, as much more would become pedantic.

 

 

 

 

Regards

 

julian

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41 minutes ago, jcredfer said:

 

Regards

 

julian

Hi Julian,

 

I previously resisted the temptation to be so pedantic as to note that the aforementioned Hawking fellow is now deceased and as such no longer understands anything at all within the realm that which we currently occupy, perhaps in another realm, but not this one currently.

 

Not sure where that puts me in all this silly nonsense, but not to  worry overly deeply upon it all the same.

 

Gibbo.

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12 hours ago, jcredfer said:

 

Regards

 

julian

 

Thank you. I was having a dig at myself too! The original joke was very funny......

 

(Flat Earth is an old maths joke, BTW, at least it was at my Uni.)

 

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The $10 Special

 

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns

and toast for $10.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs..' 'Then, I'll have to charge you $15 because you're

ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!' stated the waitress..

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

 

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! WE'VE been around the block more than once!

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1 hour ago, jf2682 said:

So who (just wondering here as I didn't try this) tried to zoom in and found the resolution so bad the bottom line couldn't be enlarged?

JF

 

 

Yeah right.................

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